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What Do I Say to My Son to Help
Him Keep His Head Up?
Tennis Parent:
Football Dad:
My son is a sophomore football player with a private catholic
school in Delaware. It is a highly political school and the
coaching staff has had predetermined players since his first
year and things haven’t changed much. This is where the
problem started. I sent an email to the JV coach (copy of email
below) asking about progress. I was very careful not to complain
or ask about playing time. In fact, I praised them for doing
a good job just to try to elicit a response. Well, a week went
by and I heard nothing so I followed up with a phone call. The
JV coaches phone goes straight to email so I left a message
basically reiterating what I said in the email.
Well come to find out later, the head coach instructed the
JV coach not to respond. After this, the head coach pulled my
son out of the lunchroom and told him that he would have to
cut him from the team if that is what it would take to get me
off his back. There were a lot of additional demeaning things
said that I won't go into. Well, the playoffs are here and they
had to cut 10 kids. My son was right there with other kids that
were labeled troublemakers and others for other reasons I suppose.
I am livid and my son is again demoralized. This will definitely
affect his confidence going into basketball. What do I say to
my son to get him to realize that HE did absolutely nothing
wrong and the he should keep his head up in light of the fact
that his self confidence is crushed.
The Ultimate Sports Parent:
We can understand your frustration with the coaches. You are
on the right track though… Instead of fuming about the
situation and getting upset with the coaches, you are directing
your efforts at helping your son with his confidence.
The best option from my perspective is to talk about how he
can use this experience to help motivated him to improve and
show the coach he was wrong. This would be an acceptable means
to motivate your son. Ask him how he can use this experience
to become an improved football player.
It shows you that coaches often want the most coachable athletes
and not always the best athletes. They have an easier job when
the players fall in line and listen to everything the coach
has to say and become team players.
We would help your son use this experience to become a more
mentally tough person and athlete. In the future, he will be
able to respond to this type of treatment better as he has lived
it and can now recognize the warning signs.
As for his confidence, you need to remind his why he is a good
player and ask him to think of the positive results he has obtained
in the past. In addition, he should avoid doubts about his ability
because he did not make the team with this coach.
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