How Sports Parents Can Motivate Kids Without Pressure

Youth Sports Psychology

Sports Parents And Motivating Their Athletes

Lisa Cohn here from The Ultimate Sports Parent. Just yesterday, my 7-year-old told me he didn’t want to go to gymnastics. He said he didn’t like doing the warm-up exercises and wasn’t going to go any more.

But I know he loves his gymnastics class…

I had a few options here. One, tell him he had committed to the class and had to go. Two, tell him he didn’t have to go if he didn’t want to. Or three, I could try to understand why he didn’t want to go and work through the challenge.

As you might guess, I chose option three. I asked him for more information about what was bothering him (he felt some of the warm-up-exercises were too hard and said he wasn’t doing them well), and offered to speak to the coach about his concerns.

So, off we went to gymnastics. I spoke to the coach, who gave the kids a talk about why they shouldn’t push themselves too hard or try to be perfect; my son (a perfectionist) was relieved by the coach’s talk and had a great class.

In these types of situations, where kids say they don’t want to go to practice, or don’t want to play anymore, or don’t want to work hard in sports, parents need to walk a fine between being there for their kids and pushing them.

In other words, they need to motivate them without pressuring them.

The first step to improving your sports kids‘ motivation is to know what gets kids motivated.

You also need to understand what causes athletes to lose motivation and want to quit.

In my case, my son’s feeling as if he wasn’t doing the warm-up well prompted him to say he didn’t want to go to his class.

Kids generally participate in sports for the following reasons:

  1. To be with friends or part of a group
  2. To experience the excitement of competition
  3. To impress or make others happy
  4. To learn and improve their skills
  5. To improve their physical fitness
  6. To experience flow or feeling of enjoyment

As you try to motivate your young athletes, focus on what motivates them—not on why you want them to participate. Follow their lead. What’s more, it’s important to set high yet attainable goals.

The key for parents is to focus on their young athletes‘ small improvements.


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The Ultimate Sports Parent

Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids who struggle with the “inner” game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.

You can benefit from our 15-plus years’ of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research. Now, you can tap into our secrets to sports success through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top “mental game” challenges that sports parents face—and the top challenges young athletes face.

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