Why This Soccer Coach Undermines Kids’ Confidence

Youth Sports Psychology

What to Avoid As a Sports Parent

If you want to know what NOT to do as sports parents and coaches, read on.

We received this letter from a parent and former coach of a soccer player in the 10-12 –year-old age group.

“My child’s coach has three assistant coaches and a lot of first-year players on the team. After suffering a five-point loss, one of the assistant coaches after the game felt it necessary to degrade the team’s loss and tell the team everything that they did wrong.”

 The letter when on…

“I mean everything—from the defenders not doing what they were supposed to do all the way to lack of paying attention. This took at least 10 to 15 minutes. My child was upset enough from losing the game, and the dejection she had to have felt from this assistant coach was clearly evident to me. I was getting upset just watching it from the sideline!”

The parent was right to get upset. This type of behavior from a coach or parent after a game hurts kids’ confidence, success and enjoyment of the game.

In fact, if coaches and parents focus only on mistakes, like this coach did, kids will likely develop fear of failure or fear of making mistakes.

They’ll scrutinize their mistakes. They’ll stop playing freely—but will instead play to avoid making mistakes. Fear of failure hurts kids’ performance.

Young athletes play their best when they feel confident and free and are willing to take risks.

After a game, follow these tips:

  •  It’s important to be positive. Both coaches and parents can find one or two positive things to say about how the kids played.
  • Be clear that your athletes’ performances don’t reflect on them as people. Often, young athletes link their self-esteem with their performance.
  • Ask your players what they did well, and discuss these points with them, even if you don’t agree.
  • Watch your body language or other subtle punishments you give. It may show your disappointment that the team lost the game.
  • Focus how to improve the next game instead of the loss!

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Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World

We’re certain that, as a parent, you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life. And as a sports parent, you’d love for your children to reach their potential in sports. But encouraging your child to strive for greatness without pressuring them can be a challenge.

You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today’s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.

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