My son is a sophomore football player with a private catholic school in Delaware. It is a highly political school and the coaching staff has had predetermined players since his first year and things haven’t changed much. This is where the problem started. I sent an email to the JV coach (copy of email below) asking about progress. I was very careful not to complain or ask about playing time. In fact, I praised them for doing a good job just to try to elicit a response. Well, a week went by and I heard nothing so I followed up with a phone call. The JV coaches phone goes straight to email so I left a message basically reiterating what I said in the email.
Well come to find out later, the head coach instructed the JV coach not to respond. After this, the head coach pulled my son out of the lunchroom and told him that he would have to cut him from the team if that is what it would take to get me off his back. There were a lot of additional demeaning things said that I won’t go into. Well, the playoffs are here and they had to cut 10 kids. My son was right there with other kids that were labeled troublemakers and others for other reasons I suppose.
I am livid and my son is again demoralized. This will definitely affect his confidence going into basketball. What do I say to my son to get him to realize that HE did absolutely nothing wrong and the he should keep his head up in light of the fact that his self confidence is crushed.
The Ultimate Sports Parent:
We can understand your frustration with the coaches. You are on the right track though… Instead of fuming about the situation and getting upset with the coaches, you are directing your efforts at helping your son with his confidence.
The best option from my perspective is to talk about how he can use this experience to help motivated him to improve and show the coach he was wrong. This would be an acceptable means to motivate your son. Ask him how he can use this experience to become an improved football player.
It shows you that coaches often want the most coachable athletes and not always the best athletes. They have an easier job when the players fall in line and listen to everything the coach has to say and become team players.
We would help your son use this experience to become a more mentally tough person and athlete. In the future, he will be able to respond to this type of treatment better as he has lived it and can now recognize the warning signs.
As for his confidence, you need to remind his why he is a good player and ask him to think of the positive results he has obtained in the past. In addition, he should avoid doubts about his ability because he did not make the team with this coach.
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