How do You Get the Most of Kid’s Talent?
Summary: Craig Young, father of Carolina Panthers quarterback Bryce Young, learned that his push to make the most of his son’s talent was pushing his son away. His advice: focus on development, resilience, and character, not rankings or scholarship offers. Kids who quit sports report more pressure and comparisons from parents. After games, pause, ask how your child felt, and make it clear your love doesn’t depend on results. Be their anchor, not another critic.
What if your biggest effort to help your child succeed was the very thing pushing them away?
That’s what happened to Craig Young. His son, Bryce, went on to win the Heisman Trophy and become an NFL quarterback. But years earlier, Craig learned a hard lesson that sports psychology has been teaching parents for decades: pressure from home can hurt the relationship and the athlete.
Craig shared his story in an interview with The Ultimate Sports Parent and in his book, Growing Up Young: One Family’s Faith Journey to the NFL. His message is simple. Put your child’s well-being before winning.
As a sports parent, you want the best for your child. You drive to practices, pay for camps, and cheer at every game. But sometimes our good intentions turn into pressure without us noticing.
So how do you support your young athlete without pushing too hard? How do you keep their confidence from rising and falling with every game?
Let’s look at why well-being matters so much, what Craig Young learned, and what to focus on instead, including what to say after a tough game.
Why Should Sports Parents Put Well-Being Before Winning?
Sports parents should put well-being before winning because kids who feel pressured are more likely to quit, and the biggest lessons in sports last long after the final score. Teamwork, resilience, and friendships stay with kids for life. When sports stay positive, kids stay in the game longer and grow more from it.
The data is clear. A 2025 national survey from the Aspen Institute found that kids who quit sports were more than twice as likely to have been pressured to play when they didn’t want to (21% vs. 9% of current players). They were also more likely to be compared to other players (18% vs. 13%).
The same survey found that kids who stay in sports get more positive support. About 86% of current players have parents who attend their games or practices, compared with 58% of former players. Kids need their parents there, but as supporters, not critics.
Here’s the good news. Most parents already know what matters. In an earlier Aspen survey, parents said fun was the number one thing they wanted from their child’s sports experience. The challenge is keeping that goal in mind when the competition heats up. These signs of parents who pressure their kids can help you check in with yourself.
Craig Young’s Wake-Up Call
Bryce Young’s sports journey started as a way to use up his energy.
YOUNG: “He had a lot of energy. What we did was channel that energy. We wanted to channel it into something positive.”
As Bryce’s talent became clear, Craig’s own history started to shape how he parented. He grew up in a single-parent home without a strong male role model. He was determined that his son would reach his potential.
YOUNG: “I was just hell-bent on, ‘he is not going to squander this gift.'”
Over time, that drive became too much. Craig’s wife told him that Bryce felt more and more uncomfortable around him.
YOUNG: “To hear that my behavior was pushing my son away was just like a dagger to my heart. And I immediately just sought the help that I needed and then also made those changes.”
Craig, a longtime therapist, realized that his relationship with Bryce mattered more than his son’s potential. If football didn’t work out but their bond stayed strong, that was enough.
That’s a powerful lesson from a father whose son reached the top. Success didn’t come from more pressure. It came after Craig pulled back.
How Can Parents Separate a Child’s Confidence From Playing Time and Rankings?
Parents can protect a child’s confidence by measuring their child against their own progress, not teammates, rankings, or stats. When confidence depends on playing time or results, it rises and falls with every game. When it’s built on effort and improvement, it holds steady.
Craig Young encourages parents to stop comparing their kids to others.
YOUNG: “It’s really getting the best that you can out of your individual ability.”
Comparisons feel natural. You see a teammate get more minutes or a higher ranking, and you want your child to catch up. But comparisons send your child a message: “You’re only good enough if you’re better than someone else.” Learn more about why comparing to teammates hurts confidence.
Instead, focus on the amazing things sports teach. Craig puts it this way: parents should focus on “the ability to learn how to overcome adversity” and “to push yourself, to develop friendships.”
Try asking questions like these:
- “What did you learn today?”
- “What part of your game is getting better?”
- “Who did you have fun with at practice?”
What Should You Say to Your Child After a Tough Game?
After a tough game, pause before you say anything. Give your child time to cool down, then ask how they felt about the game and really listen. Be an ally, not a critic, and remind them that your love and support don’t depend on how they played.
The car ride home is where many young athletes feel the most pressure. Emotions are high, and a quick comment about a mistake can sting for days.
Craig Young’s advice is to wait and let your child lead the conversation. Ask open questions like “How did you feel about today?” If they want to talk about the game, listen first. If they don’t, that’s okay too.
YOUNG: “Your support and love is unconditional.”
A simple routine can make these moments easier for both of you. Here’s a helpful post-game routine for parents you can start using this week.
Be the Anchor: How Sports Psychology Helps Parents Support Young Athletes
Young athletes already feel pressure from coaches, teammates, and social media. They don’t need more of it at home.
Craig Young believes parents should be “a North Star, an anchor, a safe space.” That means home is the one place where your child is valued for who they are, not how they played.
This matters because kids tend to drop out in early adolescence. The Aspen survey found that over a third of kids who quit sports do so between ages 12 and 14. Those are the years when steady, calm support from parents can make the biggest difference.
Not sure how you’re doing? Our Sports Parent Assessment helps you see where you’re helping your athlete and where you might be adding pressure without meaning to.
The goal is bigger than sports. You’re helping your child build an identity and life skills that will last long after their playing days are over.
Conclusion
Craig Young’s story is a reminder that even parents of elite athletes can get it wrong, and that it’s never too late to change.
Here’s what to remember:
- Your relationship with your child matters more than their potential.
- Measure progress against their own growth, not teammates or rankings.
- Make your love and support unconditional, especially after tough games.
If your young athlete is struggling with confidence, pressure, or fear of letting you down, a mental performance coach can help. Book a free session with a mental performance coach for your athlete. You’ll also find more tools in our resources for sports parents.
Be the anchor. The wins will mean more when your child knows you’re there no matter what.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know if I’m putting too much pressure on my child in sports?
Watch for signs like your child seeming tense around you before games, avoiding talking about sports, or losing interest in playing. Kids who quit sports are more likely to report being pressured to play and compared to others. If you notice these signs, focus more on effort and enjoyment.
What should I not say after a game?
Avoid pointing out mistakes, comparing your child to teammates, or questioning the coach right after a game. Those comments can feel like criticism when emotions are high. Instead, say something simple like “I love watching you play.”
Why do kids quit sports?
Many kids quit because sports stop being fun. The Aspen Institute also found that kids who quit faced more negative pressure and less positive support from parents. Keeping sports positive and low-pressure helps kids stay involved.
How do I stop comparing my child to teammates?
Shift your focus to your child’s own progress. Notice what they’ve improved over the season, and praise effort, learning, and attitude. Every athlete develops on a different timeline.
When should a young athlete see a mental performance coach or sport psychologist?
Consider it when your child’s confidence swings with every game, they get very nervous before competing, or they’re losing their love for the sport. A mental performance coach or sport psychologist can teach skills like confidence, focus, and handling mistakes. These skills help in sports and in life.
