{"id":1415,"date":"2011-09-22T15:11:24","date_gmt":"2011-09-22T15:11:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=1415"},"modified":"2025-08-07T02:22:05","modified_gmt":"2025-08-07T06:22:05","slug":"dealing-with-coaches-who-humiliate-sports-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-coaches-who-humiliate-sports-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Dealing With Coaches Who Humiliate Sports Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/sports-parents-need-mental-training-too.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" class=\"wp-image-3425\" title=\"Coaches Who Humiliate Athletes\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/sports-parents-need-mental-training-too.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/sports-parents-need-mental-training-too-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Handle_Bully_Coaches\"><\/span>How to Handle Bully Coaches<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-coaches-who-humiliate-sports-kids\/#How_to_Handle_Bully_Coaches\" >How to Handle Bully Coaches<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-coaches-who-humiliate-sports-kids\/#Her_son_cried_during_the_last_game_and_begged_to_go_home_Now_he_wants_to_quit_the_team_the_sports_mom_says\" >Her son cried during the last game and begged to go home. Now he wants to quit the team, the sports mom says.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-coaches-who-humiliate-sports-kids\/#A_few_words_in_defense_of_coaches\" >A few words in defense of coaches:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-coaches-who-humiliate-sports-kids\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-coaches-who-humiliate-sports-kids\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Parents, if your kids are being humiliated, harassed, intimidated or threatened by a coach, don\u2019t hang around waiting for things to get better. It\u2019s up to you to take action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019ve found that too many parents tolerate unacceptable behavior from their sports kids\u2019 coaches because the parents don\u2019t want their kids to lose playing time. Or they don\u2019t want to make waves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But if you don\u2019t stand up for your sports kids, it\u2019s likely no one else will. If you tolerate a coach berating or humiliating your sports kid, your child will likely lose <strong>confidence,<\/strong> stop enjoying the game, and maybe even quit sports altogether.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And believe us, this happens a lot. We receive many letters about bullying in sports. It\u2019s the top topic sports parents seek our advice about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most recently, we heard from the sports mom of a 11-year-old baseball pitcher who\u2019s a good player.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, when her son is on the mound, the coach yells at him, throws up his hands and gets frustrated, she says. If her son makes a mistake, he calls him off the plate and berates him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Her_son_cried_during_the_last_game_and_begged_to_go_home_Now_he_wants_to_quit_the_team_the_sports_mom_says\"><\/span>Her son cried during the last game and begged to go home. Now he wants to quit the team, the sports mom says.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201cWhile I don&#8217;t want him to quit something that will challenge him &#8211; being humiliated by your coach certainly isn&#8217;t pushing him to be better,\u201d<\/em> she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We have lots of advice for parents whose kids are losing <strong>confidence<\/strong> due to the way coaches are treating their kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First of all, you should talk to the coach. You should do this in a civil manner, without blaming, yelling or insulting the coach. Be sure to approach the coach when he or she has the time to talk to you. And make sure your kids or other kids can\u2019t hear your conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You might begin by telling the coach some things about what you like about him or her. You might say, <em>\u201cI really admire the way you focus on teamwork on this team. And my son has learned a lot about <strong>communication.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then, point out how the coach\u2019s behavior hurts your child. You might say, <em>\u201cWhen you yell at my son, it really hurts his <strong>confidence.<\/strong> It makes him feel so bad he wants to quit the team. I don\u2019t think this is what you intended.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"A_few_words_in_defense_of_coaches\"><\/span>A few words in defense of coaches:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you talk in a civil manner to a coach about how he\u2019s hurting your athlete, he may just change his ways. We\u2019ve received emails from coaches who\u2019ve said that this is exactly what\u2019s happened to them. Often, they coach the way they were coached.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, if the coach doesn\u2019t respond, it\u2019s time for you to decide whether this coach is hurting your child\u2019s <strong>confidence<\/strong> so much that you need to find another team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/protect-athletes-from-bully-coaches-in-the-wake-of-rutgers-rice-dismissal\/\"><strong>College Sports and Bully Coaches: Rutgers\u2019 Rice Fired<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/should-parents-try-to-reason-with-bully-coaches\/\"><strong>Should Parents Try to Reason with Bully Coaches?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/protecting-athletes-from-bully-coaches\/\"><strong>Protecting Athletes From Bully Coaches<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to Handle Bully Coaches Parents, if your kids are being humiliated, harassed, intimidated or threatened by a coach, don\u2019t hang around waiting for things to get better. It\u2019s up to you to take action. We\u2019ve found that too many parents tolerate unacceptable behavior from their sports kids\u2019 coaches because &#8230; <a title=\"Dealing With Coaches Who Humiliate Sports Kids\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-coaches-who-humiliate-sports-kids\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Dealing With Coaches Who Humiliate Sports Kids\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3419,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,180,6],"tags":[479,478,477],"class_list":["post-1415","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abusive-coaches-youth-sports","category-bullying-in-sports-kids-in-sports","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-abusive-coaches","tag-coaches-who-humiliate","tag-mean-coaches"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1415","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1415"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1415\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3419"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1415"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1415"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1415"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}