{"id":1598,"date":"2012-02-02T16:29:18","date_gmt":"2012-02-02T16:29:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=1598"},"modified":"2025-08-07T01:39:57","modified_gmt":"2025-08-07T05:39:57","slug":"sports-mom-fights-bully-coach-and-changes-the-system","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-mom-fights-bully-coach-and-changes-the-system\/","title":{"rendered":"Sports Mom Fights Bully Coach and Changes the System"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/post-game-mistakes.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/post-game-mistakes.jpg\" alt=\"Athletes who dwell on mistakes after games\" class=\"wp-image-9135\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/post-game-mistakes.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/post-game-mistakes-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_to_Do_When_Your_Sports_Kid_is_Bullied_By_Coach\"><\/span>What to Do When Your Sports Kid is Bullied By Coach<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-mom-fights-bully-coach-and-changes-the-system\/#What_to_Do_When_Your_Sports_Kid_is_Bullied_By_Coach\" >What to Do When Your Sports Kid is Bullied By Coach<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-mom-fights-bully-coach-and-changes-the-system\/#And_guess_what_happened\" >And guess what happened?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-mom-fights-bully-coach-and-changes-the-system\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-mom-fights-bully-coach-and-changes-the-system\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Holly didn\u2019t realize until it was much too late that her swimmer son was <strong>being bullied by his coach\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By the time Holly understood what was going on, her top-rated son quit his team and gave up his dream of being an Olympic swimmer. He was 16 and had been training for up to 6 hours a day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Holly didn\u2019t realize he was <strong>being bullied<\/strong> because she never really saw it. And her son never brought the <strong>bullying<\/strong> to her attention because it embarrassed him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When it was too late, Holly learned that the coach would humiliate her son by requiring him to swim with 8-year-olds. He would ignore her son. He would kick him out of swim practice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201cMy son was trying to <strong>manage<\/strong> this on his own. He was trying to shake it off. There was an embarrassment factor, especially since he was a boy and was expected to shake it off,\u201d<\/em> she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After her son quit his team, Holly, her husband, and her son decided to <strong>fight bullying in sports<\/strong> so that other kids would not endure what he had endured.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They fought the system for 1.5 years and won.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They began by going to the school and the swim club board, but were ignored. They took their story to the Sports Development Director for Indiana.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They then contacted the Athlete Protection Officer at USA Swimming, the governing organization for their swim club. USA Swimming said there was nothing it could do because there were no bylaws in place that defined bullying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then the coach threatened to sue the family. Holly and her family engaged a lawyer and continued to push for changes to the Code of Conduct at Indiana Swimming and USA Swimming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"And_guess_what_happened\"><\/span>And guess what happened?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Their efforts paid off. <em>\u201cIn October we received notification from USA Swimming: Starting in 2012 USA Swimming has an <strong>official Code of Conduct regarding bullying<\/strong>.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Carl Pickhardt, a Ph.D. <strong>psychologist<\/strong> and our <strong>bullying<\/strong> expert, says about this story, <em>\u201cWhat (this story) shows is that to confront and change <strong>bullying<\/strong> behavior of some secondary school coaches, you have to do more than take on the individual; you have to take on the athletic system, in this case on many levels.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201cThis is hard and lonely work because your efforts as parents and students can be discounted. You can be labeled as complainers, babyers, and troublemakers for challenging the status quo.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201cAll this said, in this case an enormous investment of persistence did apparently carry the day, one part of the system formally acknowledging and addressing the problem. Congratulations!&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>You can listen to Holly\u2019s story here:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><a href=\"https:\/\/lisacohn.audioacrobat.com\/download\/6635bfa7-d26a-8f3c-ce41-f9127af3cd4a.mp3\"><strong>Holly&#8217;s Sports Parent Story<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/protect-athletes-from-bully-coaches-in-the-wake-of-rutgers-rice-dismissal\/\"><strong>College Sports and Bully Coaches: Rutgers\u2019 Rice Fired<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-moms-success-story-about-coping-with-a-difficult-youth-coach\/\"><strong>One Sports Mom\u2019s Success Story: Dealing with a Bully Coach<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/should-parents-try-to-reason-with-bully-coaches\/\"><strong>Should Parents Try to Reason with Bully Coaches?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What to Do When Your Sports Kid is Bullied By Coach Holly didn\u2019t realize until it was much too late that her swimmer son was being bullied by his coach\u2026 By the time Holly understood what was going on, her top-rated son quit his team and gave up his dream &#8230; <a title=\"Sports Mom Fights Bully Coach and Changes the System\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-mom-fights-bully-coach-and-changes-the-system\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Sports Mom Fights Bully Coach and Changes the System\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9136,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[180,14,6],"tags":[91,139,216,484],"class_list":["post-1598","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bullying-in-sports-kids-in-sports","category-youth-sports-podcast","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-bullying","tag-sports-bullying","tag-sports-confidence","tag-youth-sports-bullying","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1598","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1598"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1598\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9136"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1598"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1598"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1598"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}