{"id":1686,"date":"2012-05-24T19:05:27","date_gmt":"2012-05-24T19:05:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=1686"},"modified":"2025-08-11T04:37:11","modified_gmt":"2025-08-11T08:37:11","slug":"how-to-help-kids-keep-confidence-in-the-face-of-favoritism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-kids-keep-confidence-in-the-face-of-favoritism\/","title":{"rendered":"How To Help Kids Keep Confidence in The Face of Favoritism"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3744\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/why-sports-parents-need-perspective.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/why-sports-parents-need-perspective.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/why-sports-parents-need-perspective-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Confidence_Busters_in_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Confidence Busters in Youth Sports<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-kids-keep-confidence-in-the-face-of-favoritism\/#Confidence_Busters_in_Youth_Sports\" >Confidence Busters in Youth Sports<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-kids-keep-confidence-in-the-face-of-favoritism\/#This_young_athlete_is_dealing_with_two_classic_confidence_busters\" >This young athlete is dealing with two classic confidence busters:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-kids-keep-confidence-in-the-face-of-favoritism\/#Do_you_want_your_young_athletes_to_tell_themselves\" >Do you want your young athletes to tell themselves:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-kids-keep-confidence-in-the-face-of-favoritism\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-kids-keep-confidence-in-the-face-of-favoritism\/#Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\" >Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A sports mom writes us that her daughter\u2019s basketball coach has different rules for different kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If some kids make mistakes during a game, they still get to be starters in the next game. However, if her daughter makes the same mistakes, she doesn\u2019t get to start.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Of course, this seems unfair to the young athlete\u2014and it causes her to worry about making mistakes, which hurts her performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cThis is hard for her (not to mention her dad and I) and I need to help her redirect her <strong>focus,\u201d<\/strong><\/em> writes the sports mom. <em>\u201cI just don\u2019t know how.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"This_young_athlete_is_dealing_with_two_classic_confidence_busters\"><\/span>This young athlete is dealing with two classic confidence busters:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>First of all, she worries about making mistakes,<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>She\u2019ll likely will make her play tentatively. Rather than \u201cgoing for it,\u201d she likely is stiff and plays to avoid making mistakes.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This will hurt her performance\u2014and her <strong>confidence.<\/strong> Instead, she needs to perform in the moment\u2014rather than thinking ahead to what she might do wrong. To do this, she can establish small, <strong>positive goals<\/strong> that will help her <strong>focus<\/strong> on performing well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Second, the basketball player compares herself to other players&#8211;which is a <strong>mental game<\/strong> no-no. When kids <strong>focus<\/strong> on others\u2019 strengths or how others are treated by the coach, they\u2019re <strong>focusing<\/strong> on the wrong thing. They need to <strong>focus<\/strong> on their own strengths and abilities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Think about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Do_you_want_your_young_athletes_to_tell_themselves\"><\/span>Do you want your young athletes to tell themselves:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>&nbsp;<em>\u201cLook at how quick that point guard is. She never drops the ball. It\u2019s going to be hard to compete against her.\u201d<\/em><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cI\u2019ve got a strong mental game, a great team, and I\u2019m tall and quick on my feet.\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You guessed it! The answer is Number Two!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This young athlete also needs to understand what she can and can\u2019t control. She can\u2019t control her coach or what he\u2019s thinking or doing. She can control her own actions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-kids-overcome-confidence-busters\/\"><strong>Helping Kids Overcome Confidence Busters<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-young-athletes-overcome-confidence-busters\/\"><strong>Help Young Athletes Overcome Confidence Busters<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/8-confidence-busters-for-sports-kids-you-should-know\/\"><strong>8 Confidence Busters for Sports Kids You Should Know<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\"><\/span><strong>Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/mental-training-for-young-athletes.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6868\" style=\"width:138px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We\u2019re certain that, as a parent,&nbsp;you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life.&nbsp;And as a sports parent, you\u2019d love for your children to reach their potential in sports.&nbsp;But encouraging your child to <strong>strive for greatness without pressuring them<\/strong> can be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today\u2019s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Call Us Today to Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Session.<\/strong><br><strong>Find Out How Your Athlete Can Benefit From One-on-One Mental Coaching!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Confidence Busters in Youth Sports A sports mom writes us that her daughter\u2019s basketball coach has different rules for different kids. If some kids make mistakes during a game, they still get to be starters in the next game. However, if her daughter makes the same mistakes, she doesn\u2019t get &#8230; <a title=\"How To Help Kids Keep Confidence in The Face of Favoritism\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-kids-keep-confidence-in-the-face-of-favoritism\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about How To Help Kids Keep Confidence in The Face of Favoritism\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3743,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[250,499,404,500,254],"class_list":["post-1686","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-confidence-in-sports","tag-confident-in-sports","tag-kids-confidence-in-sports","tag-mental-trianing-for-kids","tag-sports-psychology-for-kids","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1686","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1686"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1686\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3743"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1686"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1686"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1686"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}