{"id":1978,"date":"2013-07-15T17:33:27","date_gmt":"2013-07-15T17:33:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=1978"},"modified":"2025-07-21T08:08:51","modified_gmt":"2025-07-21T12:08:51","slug":"when-a-sport-kids-intensity-leads-to-anger-and-upset","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-a-sport-kids-intensity-leads-to-anger-and-upset\/","title":{"rendered":"When A Sport Kids&#8217; Intensity Leads to Anger and Upset"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/what-if-thinking.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/what-if-thinking.png\" alt=\"Helping Sports Kids with \u201cWhat if\u201d Thinking\" class=\"wp-image-9143\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/what-if-thinking.png 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/what-if-thinking-300x150.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When_Your_Sports_Kid_Gets_Frustrated\"><\/span>When Your Sports Kid Gets Frustrated <span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-a-sport-kids-intensity-leads-to-anger-and-upset\/#When_Your_Sports_Kid_Gets_Frustrated\" >When Your Sports Kid Gets Frustrated<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-a-sport-kids-intensity-leads-to-anger-and-upset\/#Alleviating_Their_Frustration\" >Alleviating Their Frustration<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-a-sport-kids-intensity-leads-to-anger-and-upset\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-a-sport-kids-intensity-leads-to-anger-and-upset\/#Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\" >Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Kids who play certain positions-say a goalkeeper in lacrosse-have to focus so intensely that a mistake can prompt a big emotional response-anger, regret, and the tendency for players to criticize themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And that can really hurt players and their team. That&#8217;s the word from Daniel St.Andre, a boy&#8217;s lacrosse coach, resident of the Town and Country Lacrosse Association, and a Kids Sports Network trainer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Goal keepers are very intensely focused on that one thing.&nbsp; There&#8217;s a lot going on from a goal keeper&#8217;s perspective,&#8221; he says. &#8220;When you stop a shot, there&#8217;s an intense emotional high because you&#8217;ve succeeded. When you don&#8217;t stop the shots, there can be a tremendous letdown as you unwind from that focus and prepare for whatever is going to happen next. It&#8217;s a real roller-coaster ride.&#8221; This is true of players in many sports, he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Often, players&#8217; anger, regret and emotional turmoil that can result from making a mistake can give opponents just what they need to win the game, he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, in lacrosse, if an opponent scores, goalkeepers may get mad at themselves &#8220;and start to wallow in the fact they allowed the team to score,&#8221; he says. &#8220;This takes focus and enjoyment out of the game.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sports parents and coaches need to work hard to help these kids stay focused, says St.Andre.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Alleviating_Their_Frustration\"><\/span>Alleviating Their Frustration<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Begin by recognizing that a player is experiencing an emotional roller coaster ride, he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Help your player understand that not only are these emotions normal, but that energy is available for both good purposes and bad purposes,&#8221; he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Encourage kids to funnel their emotions and energy into positive thoughts and actions, he says. One example is moving on after making mistakes, rather than focusing on them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Parents should also be supportive and encouraging. And they need to help kids focus on the small wins, he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;Ask them if they were successful more often than not. Did they pay attention to what they were supposed to pay attention to? These victories are important for young athletes,&#8221; he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>St.Andre has lots of other tips and ideas about kids with intense focus. Exclusive members of Kids&#8217; Sports Psychology can hear them by listening to this audio:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Full Interview with Daniel &#8211; Exclusive Members Only<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Exclusive members also have access to eBooks, videos, additional audio interviews-and lots more-all intended to help parents ensure kids make the most of their sports experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What do folks say about our resources?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><i>&#8220;First of all, can I say how much I enjoy your tips.&nbsp; The clarity with which you explain the ideas behind them has been really helpful for me to pass on to others, whether students at my university or parents and coaches at my children&#8217;s sports clubs.&#8221;<\/i><br>&#8211;Danny Cullinane<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Help your sports kids enjoy sports and build confidence!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>www.KidsSportsPsychology.com<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sincerely,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>P.S. St.Andre is very passionate about youth sports. Exclusive members of Kids&#8217; Sports Psychology should be sure to check out his interview:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-kids-have-high-intensity-to-perform-well\/\"><strong>Helping Kids Have High Intensity to Perform Well<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-parents-anger-and-frustration-hurts-kids\/\"><strong>Sports Parents\u2019 Anger and Frustration Hurts Kids<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/high-expectations-and-anger-in-youth-sports\/\"><strong>High Expectations and Anger in Youth Sports<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a> <\/strong>on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\"><\/span><strong>Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/mental-training-for-young-athletes.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6868\" style=\"width:138px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re certain that, as a parent,&nbsp;you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life.&nbsp;And as a sports parent, you\u2019d love for your children to reach their potential in sports.&nbsp;But encouraging your child to <strong>strive for greatness without pressuring them<\/strong> can be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today\u2019s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Call Us Today to Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Session.<\/strong><br><strong>Find Out How Your Athlete Can Benefit From One-on-One Mental Coaching!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When Your Sports Kid Gets Frustrated Kids who play certain positions-say a goalkeeper in lacrosse-have to focus so intensely that a mistake can prompt a big emotional response-anger, regret, and the tendency for players to criticize themselves. And that can really hurt players and their team. That&#8217;s the word from &#8230; <a title=\"When A Sport Kids&#8217; Intensity Leads to Anger and Upset\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-a-sport-kids-intensity-leads-to-anger-and-upset\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about When A Sport Kids&#8217; Intensity Leads to Anger and Upset\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9144,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1978","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1978","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1978"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1978\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9144"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1978"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1978"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1978"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}