{"id":226,"date":"2009-09-04T00:34:22","date_gmt":"2009-09-04T00:34:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=226"},"modified":"2025-08-08T01:47:38","modified_gmt":"2025-08-08T05:47:38","slug":"when-sports-kids-rely-on-others-for-confidence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-rely-on-others-for-confidence\/","title":{"rendered":"When Sports Kids Rely on Others for Confidence"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3458\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Sports_Kids_Confidence_Sources\"><\/span>Sports Kids&#8217; Confidence Sources<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-rely-on-others-for-confidence\/#Sports_Kids_Confidence_Sources\" >Sports Kids&#8217; Confidence Sources<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-rely-on-others-for-confidence\/#Kids_today_seek_what_we_call_social_approval\" >Kids today seek what we call social approval.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-rely-on-others-for-confidence\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-rely-on-others-for-confidence\/#Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\" >Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Do your young athletes <strong>seek approval<\/strong> from their peers and coaches in order to feel <strong>confident<\/strong> about their abilities in sports?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That\u2019s true of Miguel, a 20-year-old who has played basketball recreationally for many years. He says that when his <strong>confidence<\/strong> sinks, he counts on his teammates to build it up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is a common <strong>mental game<\/strong> challenge for young athletes!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read on to understand why, and to learn what you can do to address this common problem in sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Kids_today_seek_what_we_call_social_approval\"><\/span>Kids today seek what we call social approval.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>They want to be accepted, respected and liked by others. They look to others for <strong>confidence<\/strong> too. To some degree, this is normal. But when young athletes rely too much on what others think (or say) of their performance to feel confident, they often end up under-performing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sports parents must understand that athletes who need others to feel confident often become <strong>anxious<\/strong> or fear failing in competition. They worry about letting others down or becoming embarrassed in public.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This causes young athletes to think they lose approval points by playing poorly or making mistakes. They assume others don&#8217;t respect their abilities and thus lose confidence in themselves\u2014a major <strong>mental game challenge<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Keep in mind that most of the time your athletes are \u201creading the minds\u201d of others and don\u2019t really know if others are actually judging them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To help your young athletes who <strong>worry about what others think<\/strong>, ask them to first recognize that they harbor such worries. They should then regroup and tell themselves that it doesn\u2019t matter what others think.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Next, they should change their <strong>focus <\/strong>and think about what they need to do now to get the job done. That means thinking about what they can control\u2014their work ethic, their attitude, their ability to improve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We just launched a new video series,<em> \u201cInside the Minds of Young Athletes,\u201d<\/em> and the first video\u2014an interview with Miguel\u2014addresses this and other issues.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In our <em>\u201cInside the Minds of Young Athletes\u201d<\/em> series, Lisa Cohn conducts an interview with an athlete, coach or parent, and <strong>mental game<\/strong> expert Dr. Patrick Cohn provides analysis about the interview&#8211;plus <strong>confidence-building<\/strong> tips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-moms-help-dads-build-kids-confidence\/\"><strong>How Sports Moms Help Dads Build Kids\u2019 Confidence<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-unruly-crowds-and-parents-hurt-kids-confidence\/\"><strong>How Unruly Crowds and Parents Hurt Kids\u2019 Confidence<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-coaches-can-boost-and-crush-kids-confidence\/\"><strong>How Coaches Can Boost and Crush Kids\u2019 Confidence<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\"><\/span><strong>Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/mental-training-for-young-athletes.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6868\" style=\"width:138px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re certain that, as a parent,&nbsp;you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life.&nbsp;And as a sports parent, you\u2019d love for your children to reach their potential in sports.&nbsp;But encouraging your child to <strong>strive for greatness without pressuring them<\/strong> can be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today\u2019s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Call Us Today to Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Session.<\/strong><br><strong>Find Out How Your Athlete Can Benefit From One-on-One Mental Coaching!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sports Kids&#8217; Confidence Sources Do your young athletes seek approval from their peers and coaches in order to feel confident about their abilities in sports? That\u2019s true of Miguel, a 20-year-old who has played basketball recreationally for many years. He says that when his confidence sinks, he counts on his &#8230; <a title=\"When Sports Kids Rely on Others for Confidence\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-rely-on-others-for-confidence\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about When Sports Kids Rely on Others for Confidence\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3457,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,29,6,12],"tags":[67,253,50,65,66,405,117],"class_list":["post-226","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-confidence-in-young-athletes","category-positive-feedback-for-kids","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","category-youth-sports-tips","tag-fear-of-failure","tag-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-self-confidence","tag-social-approval","tag-worrying-about-what-others-think","tag-worrying-about-what-others-think-fear-of-failure","tag-youth-sports-psychology","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=226"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/226\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3457"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=226"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=226"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=226"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}