{"id":2303,"date":"2014-05-23T14:04:19","date_gmt":"2014-05-23T14:04:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=2303"},"modified":"2025-07-21T06:20:52","modified_gmt":"2025-07-21T10:20:52","slug":"helping-young-athletes-who-criticize-themselves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-who-criticize-themselves\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Young Athletes Who Criticize Themselves"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/what-if-thinking.png\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/what-if-thinking.png\" alt=\"Helping Sports Kids with \u201cWhat if\u201d Thinking\" class=\"wp-image-9143\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/what-if-thinking.png 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/08\/what-if-thinking-300x150.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Helping_Perfectionist_Sports_Kids\"><\/span>Helping Perfectionist Sports Kids<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-who-criticize-themselves\/#Helping_Perfectionist_Sports_Kids\" >Helping Perfectionist Sports Kids<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-who-criticize-themselves\/#Help_them_understand_why_this_works_against_them\" >Help them understand why this works against them:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-who-criticize-themselves\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-who-criticize-themselves\/#The_Composed_Sports_Kid\" >The Composed Sports Kid<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Do you have sports kids who criticize themselves for making mistakes?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do they hang onto a mistake for too long, talking about them or reminding themselves about how much they goofed up?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If so, it&#8217;s likely you have a <strong>perfectionist<\/strong> on your hands&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Many people think of <strong>perfectionism<\/strong> as being a <strong>positive<\/strong> quality.&nbsp;<strong>Perfectionists<\/strong> work hard and always show up on time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But along with these <strong>positive<\/strong> qualities come qualities that hurt <strong>perfectionists&#8217; confidence<\/strong> and <strong>performance.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If they criticize themselves for making mistakes, they&#8217;re hurting their <strong>confidence.<\/strong> If they can&#8217;t move on after making mistakes, they&#8217;re distracted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But you can help kids who criticize themselves by teaching them to identify, first of all, that they&#8217;re criticizing themselves. They may not be aware of how much they&#8217;re doing this or that they can change this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_them_understand_why_this_works_against_them\"><\/span>Help them understand why this works against them:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>They&#8217;re sinking their <strong>confidence.<\/strong> What&#8217;s more, they&#8217;re <strong>distracted.<\/strong> They need to be thinking about their next move-not <strong>focusing<\/strong> on their last one and how bad it was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While you&#8217;re at it, you might point out that being a <strong>perfectionist<\/strong> has its up side, but there&#8217;s also a downside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Help <strong>perfectionist<\/strong> sports kids take a look at these traits and think about <strong>perfectionism<\/strong> and how it can hurt them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course, if you&#8217;re not careful, <strong>perfectionists<\/strong> will start criticizing themselves for being perfectionists!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Help them understand that making mistakes is human, and generally helps sports kids learn-if they can see mistakes as a learning experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They need to let go of mistakes and move on to the next move or play. Help them think about the many ways they can learn from their mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, you may have a point guard who freezes up after someone steals the ball from him or her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Help these types of young athletes understand that instead of freezing up, they need to come up with a strategy for getting around that player-and they need to be creative and risky about it!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That means they may lose the ball a few more times before they figure out the best strategy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-young-athletes-doubt-their-skills-when-criticized\/\"><strong>When Young Athletes Doubt Their Skills When Criticized<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/what-to-do-when-sports-kids-dont-believe-in-themselves\/\"><strong>What to do When Sports Kids Don\u2019t Believe in Themselves<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-kids-stop-criticizing-their-game\/\"><strong>Helping Kids Stop Criticizing Their Game<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Composed_Sports_Kid\"><\/span>The Composed Sports Kid<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/composed-sports-kid-small-1.jpg\" alt=\"The Composed Sports Kid\" class=\"wp-image-11173\" style=\"width:170px\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>&#8220;The Composed Sports Kid&#8221; audio&nbsp;and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>The Composed Sports Kid system<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;is really two programs in one\u2013one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes\u2013<em>ages 6 to 13<\/em>\u2013how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance,&nbsp;<strong>and thus enjoy sports more<\/strong>!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-26bcd9b3\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-903b6244 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-confident-sports-kid-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-3275f4fd gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/collections\/confident-sports-kid-series-digital-version\/products\/the-confident-sports-kid-bundle-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Helping Perfectionist Sports Kids Do you have sports kids who criticize themselves for making mistakes? Do they hang onto a mistake for too long, talking about them or reminding themselves about how much they goofed up? If so, it&#8217;s likely you have a perfectionist on your hands&#8230; Many people think &#8230; <a title=\"Helping Young Athletes Who Criticize Themselves\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-who-criticize-themselves\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Helping Young Athletes Who Criticize Themselves\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9144,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,27,6],"tags":[309,527,564],"class_list":["post-2303","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-perfectionism-in-sports","category-perfectionism-is-young-athletes","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-confidence-in-youth-sports","tag-perfectionism-in-youth-sports","tag-perfectionist-kid","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2303","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2303"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2303\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9144"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2303"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2303"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}