{"id":2328,"date":"2014-06-19T13:09:21","date_gmt":"2014-06-19T13:09:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=2328"},"modified":"2025-07-21T06:03:29","modified_gmt":"2025-07-21T10:03:29","slug":"the-confidence-expectation-connection-for-your-athletes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-confidence-expectation-connection-for-your-athletes\/","title":{"rendered":"The Confidence-Expectation Connection for Your Athletes"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/boosting-confidence-in-the-face-of-little-playing-time.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" class=\"wp-image-3814\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/boosting-confidence-in-the-face-of-little-playing-time.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/boosting-confidence-in-the-face-of-little-playing-time-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Expectations_in_Young_Athletes\"><\/span>Expectations in Young Athletes<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-confidence-expectation-connection-for-your-athletes\/#Expectations_in_Young_Athletes\" >Expectations in Young Athletes<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-confidence-expectation-connection-for-your-athletes\/#Now_comes_the_problem_many_perfectionists_face\" >Now comes the problem many perfectionists face.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-confidence-expectation-connection-for-your-athletes\/#How_can_you_help_kids_like_this_baseball_player\" >How can you help kids like this baseball player?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-confidence-expectation-connection-for-your-athletes\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-confidence-expectation-connection-for-your-athletes\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Mary, a sports mom, says she&#8217;s at a loss about how to help her talented 16-year-old baseball player <strong>overcome his perfectionism<\/strong> and start playing well again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;He has always been a very strong baseball player. He is a pitcher who hitters don&#8217;t like to face and a strong hitter. He pitched games where he would strike out 16 of the 18 batters he would face. He hit grand slams in close games. Until the age of 15 he had strong <strong>emotional<\/strong> command of his game, which made him perform <strong>consistently<\/strong> well,&#8221;<\/em> she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Now_comes_the_problem_many_perfectionists_face\"><\/span>Now comes the problem many perfectionists face.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;Last season and this season he has been such a <strong>perfectionist<\/strong> that he isn&#8217;t playing well at all. He thinks that others are expecting so much from him and he is letting them down. I&#8217;ve tried to tell him all the things that I&#8217;ve learned from your emails but he denies that he is being hard on himself&#8230; He loves baseball,&#8221;<\/em> she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Often, when kids excel in sports, they start feeling as if they have to carry the team. They worry about letting down their teammates if they don&#8217;t perform up to unreasonably high <strong>expectations.<\/strong> This is a classic characteristic of <strong>perfectionism.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_can_you_help_kids_like_this_baseball_player\"><\/span>How can you help kids like this baseball player?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>First of all, help your athletes identify their <strong>high expectations<\/strong>. These are the unwritten demands they have for their performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Do they expect to always be the highest scorer?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do they feel as if it&#8217;s up to them to carry the team?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do they have to perform at their peak all the time or they fold?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Next, explain that such <strong>high expectations<\/strong> only lead to frustration. <strong>Encourage<\/strong> your young athletes to <strong>focus<\/strong> on small objectives that help them focus on the process, rather than on the outcome. Some examples:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>I&#8217;ll be a great team player today.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>I&#8217;ll improve my rebounding.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>I&#8217;ll focus on passing well to my teammates.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Next, watch what you say to your young athletes! Often, parents say things that makes kids&#8217; adopt your <strong>expectations.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You may not mean to do this, but often, saying things like, <em>&#8220;Go out there and score 10 goals!&#8221;<\/em> or <em>&#8220;I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;ll be the lead scorer today,&#8221;<\/em> makes kids feel as if they have to achieve these <strong>high expectations.<\/strong> When they don&#8217;t, they get frustrated and their <strong>confidence<\/strong> and performance sinks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-build-connection-and-confidence\/\">Helping Young Athletes Build Connection and Confidence<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-young-athletes-can-win-close-games\/\">How Young Athletes Can Win Close Games<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-number-one-confidence-killer-for-athletes\/\">The Number One Confidence Killer for Athletes<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>&nbsp;on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Expectations in Young Athletes Mary, a sports mom, says she&#8217;s at a loss about how to help her talented 16-year-old baseball player overcome his perfectionism and start playing well again. &#8220;He has always been a very strong baseball player. He is a pitcher who hitters don&#8217;t like to face and &#8230; <a title=\"The Confidence-Expectation Connection for Your Athletes\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-confidence-expectation-connection-for-your-athletes\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about The Confidence-Expectation Connection for Your Athletes\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3806,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,6],"tags":[567,265,568],"class_list":["post-2328","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-perfectionism-in-sports","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-high-expectations-in-sports","tag-perfectionism-in-sports","tag-young-perfectionists"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2328","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2328"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2328\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3806"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2328"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2328"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2328"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}