{"id":256,"date":"2009-10-10T00:07:12","date_gmt":"2009-10-10T00:07:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=256"},"modified":"2025-08-08T01:32:51","modified_gmt":"2025-08-08T05:32:51","slug":"why-this-soccer-coach-undermines-kids-confidence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-this-soccer-coach-undermines-kids-confidence\/","title":{"rendered":"Why This Soccer Coach Undermines Kids\u2019 Confidence"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/helping-young-athletes-trust-in-their-skills.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" class=\"wp-image-3477\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/helping-young-athletes-trust-in-their-skills.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/helping-young-athletes-trust-in-their-skills-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_to_Avoid_As_a_Sports_Parent\"><\/span>What to Avoid As a Sports Parent<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-this-soccer-coach-undermines-kids-confidence\/#What_to_Avoid_As_a_Sports_Parent\" >What to Avoid As a Sports Parent<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-this-soccer-coach-undermines-kids-confidence\/#After_a_game_follow_these_tips\" >After a game, follow these tips:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-this-soccer-coach-undermines-kids-confidence\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-this-soccer-coach-undermines-kids-confidence\/#Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\" >Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>If you want to know what NOT to do as sports parents and coaches, read on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We received this letter from a parent and former coach of a soccer player in the 10-12 \u2013year-old age group.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201cMy child\u2019s coach has three assistant coaches and a lot of first-year players on the team. After suffering a five-point loss, one of the assistant coaches after the game felt it necessary to degrade the team&#8217;s loss and tell the team everything that they did wrong.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&nbsp;The letter when on&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;I mean everything\u2014from the defenders not doing what they were supposed to do all the way to lack of paying attention. This took at least 10 to 15 minutes. My child was upset enough from losing the game, and the dejection she had to have felt from this assistant coach was clearly evident to me. I was getting upset just watching it from the sideline!\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The parent was right to get upset. This type of behavior from a coach or parent after a game hurts <strong>kids\u2019 confidence<\/strong>, <strong>success<\/strong> and enjoyment of the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In fact, if coaches and parents <strong>focus<\/strong> only on mistakes, like this coach did, kids will likely develop <strong>fear of failure<\/strong> or fear of making mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They\u2019ll scrutinize their mistakes. They\u2019ll stop playing <strong>freely<\/strong>\u2014but will instead play to avoid making mistakes. Fear of failure hurts kids\u2019 performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Young athletes<\/strong> play their best when they feel <strong>confident<\/strong> and free and are willing to take risks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"After_a_game_follow_these_tips\"><\/span>After a game, follow these tips:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>&nbsp;It\u2019s important to be <strong>positive.<\/strong> Both coaches and parents can find one or two <strong>positive<\/strong> things to say about how the kids played.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Be clear that your athletes\u2019 performances don\u2019t reflect on them as people. Often, young athletes link their self-esteem with their performance.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ask your players what they did well, and discuss these points with them, even if you don\u2019t agree.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Watch your body language or other subtle punishments you give. It may show your disappointment that the team lost the game.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Focus<\/strong> how to improve the next game instead of the loss!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-avoid-comparison-trap-for-sports-parents\/\"><strong>How to Avoid Comparison Trap for Sports Parents<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-kids-identities-shouldnt-be-all-about-sports\/\"><strong>Why Kids\u2019 Identities Shouldn\u2019t be All About Sports<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/getting-all-the-goodness-out-of-youth-sports\/\"><strong>Getting All the Goodness Out of Youth Sports<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a> <\/strong>on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\"><\/span><strong>Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/mental-training-for-young-athletes.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6868\" style=\"width:138px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re certain that, as a parent,&nbsp;you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life.&nbsp;And as a sports parent, you\u2019d love for your children to reach their potential in sports.&nbsp;But encouraging your child to <strong>strive for greatness without pressuring them<\/strong> can be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today\u2019s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Call Us Today to Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Session.<\/strong><br><strong>Find Out How Your Athlete Can Benefit From One-on-One Mental Coaching!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What to Avoid As a Sports Parent If you want to know what NOT to do as sports parents and coaches, read on. We received this letter from a parent and former coach of a soccer player in the 10-12 \u2013year-old age group. \u201cMy child\u2019s coach has three assistant coaches &#8230; <a title=\"Why This Soccer Coach Undermines Kids\u2019 Confidence\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-this-soccer-coach-undermines-kids-confidence\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Why This Soccer Coach Undermines Kids\u2019 Confidence\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3476,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,26,25,6],"tags":[408,67,407,78,253,50,77],"class_list":["post-256","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abusive-coaches-youth-sports","category-confidence-in-young-athletes","category-youth-sports-coach","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-coaches-who-dwell-on-errors","tag-fear-of-failure","tag-negative-coaches","tag-negative-coaching","tag-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-self-confidence","tag-youth-coaches","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=256"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3476"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}