{"id":315,"date":"2009-12-11T01:09:07","date_gmt":"2009-12-11T01:09:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=315"},"modified":"2025-08-08T01:20:42","modified_gmt":"2025-08-08T05:20:42","slug":"dealing-with-favoritism-in-youth-sports","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-favoritism-in-youth-sports\/","title":{"rendered":"The Problems with Favoritism in Youth Sports Athletes"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/learning-from-elite-athletes.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/learning-from-elite-athletes.jpg\" alt=\"What Can Athletes Learn from Elite Athletes\u2019 Mindset?\" class=\"wp-image-9107\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/learning-from-elite-athletes.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/07\/learning-from-elite-athletes-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Dealing_With_Favoritism_in_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Dealing With Favoritism in Youth Sports<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-favoritism-in-youth-sports\/#Dealing_With_Favoritism_in_Youth_Sports\" >Dealing With Favoritism in Youth Sports<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-favoritism-in-youth-sports\/#Do_not_Accuse\" >Do not Accuse<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-favoritism-in-youth-sports\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-favoritism-in-youth-sports\/#Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\" >Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Sports parent Michael Sands is unhappy with what he calls <strong>favoritism<\/strong> at Beverly Hills High, where his son plays football.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The coaches are all volunteers, but on weekends, they coach certain kids\u2014for a fee. This puts the young athletes who get extra coaching on weekends on a different playing field than those who don\u2019t get the extra coaching, he says. They\u2019re more likely to be favored by the coaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This type of scenario is common in youth sports. Sometimes, certain young athletes are invited to take part in summer sports camps, and they are more likely to get picked to play on their school teams. Of course, this is very hard on the kids who aren\u2019t invited. It hurts their <strong>confidence<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But that\u2019s not the only scenario that can hurt kids\u2019 <strong>confidence.<\/strong> Certain young athletes are favored by their coaches even if there is no outside coaching. The coaches may like these kids\u2019 attitude, or physical prowess, or may be influenced by what other adults say about these kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you feel your athlete\u2019s <strong>confidence<\/strong> is suffering because of these kinds of favoritism, there are a number of things you can do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First of all, you can talk to the coach. But you have to be very careful about how you approach him or her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Find a time when the coach is free and not distracted. Avoid talking to a coach right after a game. Be polite.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Do_not_Accuse\"><\/span>Do not Accuse<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Don\u2019t accuse the coach of favoritism or put the coach on the defensive. You might simply ask what you can do to ensure your child improves enough to get more playing time, or to make the team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s also really important for your young athletes to learn how to cope with the reality of <strong>favoritism<\/strong>. Your athletes need to learn how to stop making comparisons with other kids\u2014even if the coach favors these other kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead of <strong>focusing<\/strong> on the child favored by the coach, your athletes need to <strong>focus<\/strong> on themselves. They should identify their strengths, and <strong>concentrate<\/strong> on them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What\u2019s more, your athletes should not assume people are judging them, analyzing them, or talking about them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You athletes should <strong>concentrate<\/strong> on themselves and improving their skills. In addition, kids should not try to play or perform like the favored athletes. They need to be themselves and take advantage of their strengths.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-kids-keep-confidence-in-the-face-of-favoritism\/\"><strong>How To Help Kids Keep Confidence in The Face of Favoritism<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/addressing-anxiety-mistakes-and-low-confidence-in-youth-sports\/\"><strong>Addressing Anxiety, Mistakes and Low Confidence in Youth Sports<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/josh-tholes-take-on-coping-with-mistakes\/\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-challenges-with-being-your-kids-coach-and-parent\/\"><strong>The Challenges with Being Your Kid\u2019s Coach and Parent<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\"><\/span><strong>Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/mental-training-for-young-athletes.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6868\" style=\"width:138px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re certain that, as a parent,&nbsp;you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life.&nbsp;And as a sports parent, you\u2019d love for your children to reach their potential in sports.&nbsp;But encouraging your child to <strong>strive for greatness without pressuring them<\/strong> can be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today\u2019s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Call Us Today to Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Session.<\/strong><br><strong>Find Out How Your Athlete Can Benefit From One-on-One Mental Coaching!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Dealing With Favoritism in Youth Sports Sports parent Michael Sands is unhappy with what he calls favoritism at Beverly Hills High, where his son plays football. The coaches are all volunteers, but on weekends, they coach certain kids\u2014for a fee. This puts the young athletes who get extra coaching on &#8230; <a title=\"The Problems with Favoritism in Youth Sports Athletes\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dealing-with-favoritism-in-youth-sports\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about The Problems with Favoritism in Youth Sports Athletes\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":9108,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,20,6],"tags":[64,87,53,253,254,117],"class_list":["post-315","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sports-psychology-for-kids","category-youth-sports-coaching","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-confidence","tag-favoritism","tag-focus","tag-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-sports-psychology-for-kids","tag-youth-sports-psychology","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=315"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/315\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/9108"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=315"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=315"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=315"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}