{"id":3207,"date":"2016-03-31T19:56:47","date_gmt":"2016-03-31T19:56:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=3207"},"modified":"2025-07-11T05:52:44","modified_gmt":"2025-07-11T09:52:44","slug":"why-young-athletes-give-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-young-athletes-give-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Young Athletes Give Up in Sports"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-3796 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/helping-young-athletes-overcome-fear-of-failure-3.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/helping-young-athletes-overcome-fear-of-failure-3.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/helping-young-athletes-overcome-fear-of-failure-3-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Perfectionism_In_Young_Athletes\"><\/span>Perfectionism In Young Athletes<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-young-athletes-give-up\/#Perfectionism_In_Young_Athletes\" >Perfectionism In Young Athletes<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-young-athletes-give-up\/#First_of_all_help_these_kids_understand_the_problems_with_their_high_expectations\" >First of all, help these kids understand the problems with their high expectations.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-young-athletes-give-up\/#Are_you_fueling_your_players_perfectionism\" >Are you fueling your players\u2019 perfectionism?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-young-athletes-give-up\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-young-athletes-give-up\/#Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\" >Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>We recently received a note from a parent about how her 10-year-old\u2019s high expectations lead her to give up when faced with <strong>adversity.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is common when a child, like this softball player, has achieved <strong>success.<\/strong> She has pitched many perfect games, including at state playoffs, and is always the best batter on her team, says her mom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Such success often translates to <strong>high expectations<\/strong> and perfectionism\u2014traits that can cause kids to behave exactly like this child does:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201cAs all the kids get older, better people can hit her pitches and field her hits. At the first sign of <strong>adversity<\/strong> she gives up and displays horrifying sportsmanship. We have emphasized countless times it&#8217;s about trying your best&#8230;&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;I am desperate to help her because she&#8217;s holding herself back and making it a miserable experience. My husband wants to make her quit but she loves the game. I&#8217;d rather attempt to fix the problem than be punitive! And when she shuts down and stops trying it&#8217;s when her team needs her the most,\u201d<\/em> says the player\u2019s mom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How can parents help kids whose expectations are so high that they shut down when faced with adversity?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"First_of_all_help_these_kids_understand_the_problems_with_their_high_expectations\"><\/span>First of all, help these kids understand the problems with their <strong>high expectations.<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>In this case, this player apparently wants to pitch perfect games, as she has in the past. That\u2019s a lot to ask of herself!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She needs to understand that such <strong>high expectations<\/strong> can make her feel frustrated and undermine her <strong>confidence<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead of demanding she be perfect on the mound, players should give themselves a break and understand that everyone is human and makes mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What\u2019s more, sports kids need to stop <strong>focusing<\/strong> so much on statistics, and <strong>focus<\/strong> on the here-and-now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To do that, help them identify <strong>mini-goals.<\/strong> These smaller, achievable goals will keep them feel more grounded in the moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, instead of <em>\u201cI have to have a perfect game today,\u201d<\/em> they could <strong>focus<\/strong> on <strong>communicating<\/strong> well with teammates or positioning themselves well on the field.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In addition, parents need to check their own behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Are_you_fueling_your_players_perfectionism\"><\/span>Are you fueling your players\u2019 perfectionism?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Do you say things like, <em>\u201cHave another perfect game today!\u201d<\/em> that contribute to your young athletes\u2019 <strong>perfectionism?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If so, you need to lower your own expectations and <strong>focus<\/strong> on ensuring your athletes are having fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up\/\"><strong>How to Help Athletes Who Stop Trying or Give Up<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-participating-in-sports-gives-kids-an-edge-in-life\/\"><strong>How Participating in Sports Gives Kids an Edge in Life<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-kids-give-100-percent-no-matter-the-outcome\/\"><strong>How to Help Kids Give 100 Percent, No Matter the Outcome<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to<strong>\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a> <\/strong>on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\"><\/span><strong>Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/mental-training-for-young-athletes.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6868\" style=\"width:138px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re certain that, as a parent,&nbsp;you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life.&nbsp;And as a sports parent, you\u2019d love for your children to reach their potential in sports.&nbsp;But encouraging your child to <strong>strive for greatness without pressuring them<\/strong> can be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today\u2019s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Call Us Today to Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Session.<\/strong><br><strong>Find Out How Your Athlete Can Benefit From One-on-One Mental Coaching!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Perfectionism In Young Athletes We recently received a note from a parent about how her 10-year-old\u2019s high expectations lead her to give up when faced with adversity. This is common when a child, like this softball player, has achieved success. She has pitched many perfect games, including at state playoffs, &#8230; <a title=\"Why Young Athletes Give Up in Sports\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-young-athletes-give-up\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Why Young Athletes Give Up in Sports\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3795,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[28,27,6],"tags":[282,281],"class_list":["post-3207","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-perfectionism-in-sports","category-perfectionism-is-young-athletes","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-kids-who-give-up","tag-perfectionism-in-young-athletes"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3207","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3207"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3207\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3795"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3207"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3207"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3207"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}