{"id":330,"date":"2010-01-15T21:31:42","date_gmt":"2010-01-15T21:31:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=330"},"modified":"2025-08-08T01:19:01","modified_gmt":"2025-08-08T05:19:01","slug":"parent-communication-with-sports-kids-who-lash-out-after-losses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parent-communication-with-sports-kids-who-lash-out-after-losses\/","title":{"rendered":"Parent Communication with Sports Kids Who Lash Out"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3632\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/parent-communication-with-sports-kids-who-lash-out-1.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/parent-communication-with-sports-kids-who-lash-out-1.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/parent-communication-with-sports-kids-who-lash-out-1-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Communicating_With_Sports_Kids_After_Losses\"><\/span>Communicating With Sports Kids After Losses<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parent-communication-with-sports-kids-who-lash-out-after-losses\/#Communicating_With_Sports_Kids_After_Losses\" >Communicating With Sports Kids After Losses<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parent-communication-with-sports-kids-who-lash-out-after-losses\/#Why_is_this_important_to_you_as_sports_parents_and_coaches\" >Why is this important to you as sports parents and coaches?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parent-communication-with-sports-kids-who-lash-out-after-losses\/#The_Importance_of_Communication\" >The Importance of Communication<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parent-communication-with-sports-kids-who-lash-out-after-losses\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parent-communication-with-sports-kids-who-lash-out-after-losses\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>What exactly is going on in the minds of young athletes when they throw a bat after striking out, storm out of a gym after a loss, or cry when their team suffers a big upset?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How should you deal with this behavior?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>First of all, if you really want to understand the young athlete, don\u2019t judge such behavior, says Gary Kramer, founder of Inner-Sports, which is an innovator in behavioral evaluation and coaching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before parents and coaches react to such behavior, they need to try to understand what\u2019s behind it, he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_is_this_important_to_you_as_sports_parents_and_coaches\"><\/span>Why is this important to you as sports parents and coaches?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Because some kids lash out often in sports\u2014and how you deal with it will either boost their <strong>confidence<\/strong> or undermine it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201cLet\u2019s try not to <strong>focus<\/strong> on the behavior,\u201d<\/em> suggests Kramer. <em>\u201cIf we do, parents and coaches will say, \u2018You can\u2019t do that. It\u2019s not acceptable.\u2019 But when we do this, the child becomes angrier or resistant.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, parents and coaches need to <strong>focus<\/strong> on kids\u2019 state of mind. It\u2019s important to try to understand kids\u2019 level of well-being at the moment, he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If young athletes are experiencing generally high levels of well being\u2014if they had a good day in school, for example\u2014they\u2019re less likely to lash out. But if they\u2019re experiencing low levels of well-being, they\u2019re more likely to display what\u2019s considered bad or angry behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When young athletes do display this type of behavior, it\u2019s time for parents and coaches to call a time-out, he says. Wait until everyone cools off before addressing the issue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Importance_of_Communication\"><\/span>The Importance of Communication<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Here at the Ultimate Sports Parent and Kids\u2019 Sports Psychology, we, like Kramer, stress the importance of <strong>communicating<\/strong> well with young athletes\u2014whether or not they\u2019ve just lashed out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s critical for parents and coaches to show empathy for their young athletes. Rather than judging kids, you want to understand where they are coming from.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When they tell you they had a bad day and played poorly because of it, listen to them. Don\u2019t offer suggestions. Let them know you hear what they\u2019re saying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Good <strong>communicators<\/strong> not only are good listeners, they also are careful about the words they use. It\u2019s critical to be <strong>positive<\/strong> with young athletes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You don\u2019t want to <strong>focus<\/strong> on their mistakes or losses. If you <strong>focus<\/strong> too much on mistakes and losses, your kids will become hyper-sensitive. They may develop <strong>fear of failure<\/strong>. That can lead to poor performance because kids will fear taking risks and making mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/coach-communication-with-parents-and-athletes\/\"><strong>Coach Communication With Parents And Athletes<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-parents-can-improve-communication-with-sports-kids-of-all-abilities\/\"><strong>How Parents Can Improve Communication with Sports Kids \u2013 of All Abilities<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/important-dos-and-donts-for-sports-parents-before-games\/\"><strong>Important Dos and Don\u2019ts for Sports Parents Before Games<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Communicating With Sports Kids After Losses What exactly is going on in the minds of young athletes when they throw a bat after striking out, storm out of a gym after a loss, or cry when their team suffers a big upset? How should you deal with this behavior? First &#8230; <a title=\"Parent Communication with Sports Kids Who Lash Out\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parent-communication-with-sports-kids-who-lash-out-after-losses\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Parent Communication with Sports Kids Who Lash Out\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3629,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[29,17,6],"tags":[89,90,266,253,50],"class_list":["post-330","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-positive-feedback-for-kids","category-sports-parenting","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-communicating-with-young-athletes","tag-communication-sports-parents","tag-positive-feedback-for-kids","tag-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-self-confidence","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/330","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=330"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/330\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3629"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=330"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=330"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=330"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}