{"id":3369,"date":"2016-09-30T18:42:36","date_gmt":"2016-09-30T18:42:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=3369"},"modified":"2025-07-11T04:57:15","modified_gmt":"2025-07-11T08:57:15","slug":"why-perfectionist-sports-kids-arent-so-perfect","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-perfectionist-sports-kids-arent-so-perfect\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Perfectionist Sports Kids Aren&#8217;t So Perfect"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3370\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/why-perfectionist-sports-kids-arent-so-perfect.jpg\" alt=\"Perfectionism in Youth Sports\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/why-perfectionist-sports-kids-arent-so-perfect.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/why-perfectionist-sports-kids-arent-so-perfect-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Whats_The_Problem_With_Perfectionism\"><\/span>What&#8217;s The Problem With Perfectionism?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_84 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-perfectionist-sports-kids-arent-so-perfect\/#Whats_The_Problem_With_Perfectionism\" >What&#8217;s The Problem With Perfectionism?<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-perfectionist-sports-kids-arent-so-perfect\/#The_good_news_is_you_can_help_these_kids\" >The good news is you can help these kids!<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-perfectionist-sports-kids-arent-so-perfect\/#Want_to_learn_more_about_how_to_help_perfectionist_sports_kids\" >Want to learn more about how to help perfectionist sports kids?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-perfectionist-sports-kids-arent-so-perfect\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-perfectionist-sports-kids-arent-so-perfect\/#The_Composed_Sports_Kid\" >The Composed Sports Kid<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perfectionist <strong>sports<\/strong> <strong>kids<\/strong> show up to practice on time and work hard to improve their skills. Coaches like them because they follow directions. Sounds perfect, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">But there\u2019s a problem with perfectionist <strong>sports<\/strong> <strong>kids<\/strong>\u2014often, both in sports and life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Perfectionists set high expectations for themselves. They tell themselves they need to be perfect on the court or field or course; they must be the highest scorers and they should lead their team to the win.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It may sound like they\u2019re ambitious hard workers, but the problem is these kids get frustrated when they don&#8217;t meet their high expectations. For example, a point guard may commit a turnover and start lambasting himself. Then, suddenly, he starts playing it safe, to avoid mistakes, and his game suffers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_good_news_is_you_can_help_these_kids\"><\/span>The good news is you can help these kids!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You need to help them lower their expectations and <strong>focus<\/strong> on mini-goals instead of on difficult-to-attain ambitions. Instead of <em>\u201cI\u2019m going to be the top scorer today,\u201d<\/em> they should tell themselves, <em>\u201cI&#8217;m going to make quality shots on the goal,\u201d<\/em> or, <em>\u201cI&#8217;m going to be a good team player,\u201d<\/em> or, <em>\u201cI&#8217;m going to block three shots on goal.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Often, these perfectionist <strong>sports<\/strong> <strong>kids<\/strong> also harbor high expectations in other areas of their lives. If they can learn to beat perfectionism in sports, it\u2019s likely these lessons will help them in school and other activities.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Want_to_learn_more_about_how_to_help_perfectionist_sports_kids\"><\/span>Want to learn more about how to help perfectionist sports kids?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Check out our popular program, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/helping-young-athletes-kick-perfectionism\/\">\u201cHelping Young Athletes Kick Perfectionism and Fear of Failure,\u201d<\/a> which makes your job as sports parents much easier. It helps sports kids <strong>let go of mistakes<\/strong> more easily, stop criticizing themselves, improve their <strong>confidence<\/strong> and have more fun. Check it out here:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/helping-young-athletes-kick-perfectionism\/\"><strong>Helping Young Kids Kick Perfectionism<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-perfectionists-overcome-fragile-confidence\/\"><strong>Helping Perfectionists Overcome Fragile Confidence<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-one-coach-helped-a-perfectionist-athlete-with-some-help\/\"><strong>How One Coach Helped a Perfectionist Athlete<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-expectations-trap-for-perfectionists\/\"><strong>The Expectations Trap for Perfectionists<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Composed_Sports_Kid\"><\/span>The Composed Sports Kid<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/composed-sports-kid-small-1.jpg\" alt=\"The Composed Sports Kid\" class=\"wp-image-11173\" style=\"width:170px\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;The Composed Sports Kid&#8221; audio&nbsp;and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em><strong>The Composed Sports Kid system<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;is really two programs in one\u2013one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes\u2013<em>ages 6 to 13<\/em>\u2013how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance,&nbsp;<strong>and thus enjoy sports more<\/strong>!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-26bcd9b3\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-903b6244 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-confident-sports-kid-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-3275f4fd gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/collections\/confident-sports-kid-series-digital-version\/products\/the-confident-sports-kid-bundle-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What&#8217;s The Problem With Perfectionism? Perfectionist sports kids show up to practice on time and work hard to improve their skills. Coaches like them because they follow directions. Sounds perfect, right? But there\u2019s a problem with perfectionist sports kids\u2014often, both in sports and life. Perfectionists set high expectations for themselves. &#8230; <a title=\"Why Perfectionist Sports Kids Aren&#8217;t So Perfect\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-perfectionist-sports-kids-arent-so-perfect\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Why Perfectionist Sports Kids Aren&#8217;t So Perfect\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3371,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[309,281],"class_list":["post-3369","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-confidence-in-youth-sports","tag-perfectionism-in-young-athletes"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3369","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3369"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3369\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3371"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3369"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3369"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3369"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}