{"id":359,"date":"2010-02-11T00:29:07","date_gmt":"2010-02-11T00:29:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=359"},"modified":"2025-08-07T07:10:45","modified_gmt":"2025-08-07T11:10:45","slug":"pressure-sports-kids-and-they-might-drop-out","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/pressure-sports-kids-and-they-might-drop-out\/","title":{"rendered":"Pressure Sports Kids, and They Might Drop Out of Sports Altogether"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3636\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/4-2.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/4-2.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/4-2-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Do_You_Pressure_Your_Sports_Kids\"><\/span>Do You Pressure Your Sports Kids?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/pressure-sports-kids-and-they-might-drop-out\/#Do_You_Pressure_Your_Sports_Kids\" >Do You Pressure Your Sports Kids?<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/pressure-sports-kids-and-they-might-drop-out\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/pressure-sports-kids-and-they-might-drop-out\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One of our readers, a caring sports mom, has this confession to make:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cI am guilty! I am a frustrated but well-meaning mother who has put pressure to perform on my children.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is an important <strong>realization<\/strong> for this sports mom. She understands that<strong> pressure<\/strong> from parents does not help young athletes <strong>succeed.<\/strong> In fact, it can cause kids to lose <strong>confidence<\/strong> and drop out of sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Read on, and you\u2019ll discover that\u2019s exactly what\u2019s happening in this family\u2019s case\u2014and how to avoid this sports mom\u2019s situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The mother of two young athletes says that she\u2019s been exerting <strong>pressure<\/strong> on her youngest daughter for two reasons:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(1) The young athlete dreams of playing basketball in college,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(2) The mom doesn\u2019t want her daughter to quit basketball, like her older sister did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">To sum it up, the older daughter had a bad experience with a coach who seemed to favor his own daughters. The older daughter quit the team. Now the younger daughter has the same coach, and she\u2019s sitting on the bench.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cSo to compensate, I pressured her to work harder, thinking that would help, but it\u2019s only made things worse. She\u2019s lost her <strong>confidence<\/strong> and is now believing the coach when he says she doesn\u2019t have what it takes.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The youngest, who won awards in basketball last year, has said she wants to quit basketball altogether&#8211;unless her mother attends all the practices!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is clearly a difficult situation. However, as this mother now realizes, pressuring her daughter to perform better was not the answer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As we\u2019ve explained before, it\u2019s critical for parents and coaches to recognize the difference between helping kids achieve their <strong>goals,<\/strong> which aren\u2019t cast in stone, and pressuring them to perform.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When you have<strong> high expectations<\/strong> for your kids, it often feels like pressure to them. In this case, this well-meaning mother\u2019s expectation that her youngest daughter excel in the face of huge challenges&#8211;a difficult coach who favored his own kids&#8211;certainly was a lot of pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It probably felt to the daughter like she was expected to achieve the impossible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When young athletes experience these kinds of <strong>expectations,<\/strong> they get frustrated and lose <strong>confidence<\/strong> when they don\u2019t meet the expectations. As we\u2019ve explained before, losing <strong>confidence<\/strong> never boosts a young athlete\u2019s performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Remember, too, that even at the high school level, some kids participate in sports to be with friends and to have fun. Before you decide how and where your kids should play sports, be sure to check in with them first.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Don\u2019t make any assumptions. It\u2019s important for you to understand why they\u2019re playing and what level of play they want to participate in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">One coach we know asks his new players and parents to separately complete a survey. The survey asks both kids and parents what they expect the young athlete to get out of sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This is a good idea. It gives the coach some <strong>perspective<\/strong> about <strong>expectations<\/strong> and potential conflicts between the athlete\u2019s and the parent\u2019s <strong>expectations.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/where-does-sports-kids-pressure-come-from\/\"><strong>Where Does Sports Kids\u2019 Pressure Come From?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-sports-kids-who-feel-pressured-by-adult-values\/\"><strong>Helping Sports Kids Who Feel Pressured By Adult Values<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-parents-who-pressure-their-kids\/\"><strong>Sports Parents Who Pressure Their Kids<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do You Pressure Your Sports Kids? One of our readers, a caring sports mom, has this confession to make: \u201cI am guilty! I am a frustrated but well-meaning mother who has put pressure to perform on my children.\u201d This is an important realization for this sports mom. She understands that &#8230; <a title=\"Pressure Sports Kids, and They Might Drop Out of Sports Altogether\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/pressure-sports-kids-and-they-might-drop-out\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Pressure Sports Kids, and They Might Drop Out of Sports Altogether\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3635,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[35,18,6],"tags":[64,98,97,270,96,253,260],"class_list":["post-359","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pressure-from-parents","category-young-athletes-pressure","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-confidence","tag-confidence-in-sports-kids","tag-expectations-from-parents","tag-pressure-from-parents","tag-pressure-from-sports-parents","tag-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-young-athletes-pressure","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/359","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=359"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/359\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3635"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=359"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=359"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=359"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}