{"id":363,"date":"2010-02-25T18:37:40","date_gmt":"2010-02-25T18:37:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=363"},"modified":"2025-08-07T07:09:38","modified_gmt":"2025-08-07T11:09:38","slug":"how-are-sports-kids-their-own-worst-enemies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-are-sports-kids-their-own-worst-enemies\/","title":{"rendered":"How Are Sports Kids Their Own Worst Enemies?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3422\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/8-confidence-busters-for-sports-kids-you-should-know.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/8-confidence-busters-for-sports-kids-you-should-know.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/8-confidence-busters-for-sports-kids-you-should-know-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Pitfalls_of_High_Expectations\"><\/span>The Pitfalls of High Expectations<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-are-sports-kids-their-own-worst-enemies\/#The_Pitfalls_of_High_Expectations\" >The Pitfalls of High Expectations<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-are-sports-kids-their-own-worst-enemies\/#The_Solution\" >The Solution:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-are-sports-kids-their-own-worst-enemies\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-are-sports-kids-their-own-worst-enemies\/#Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\" >Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Just how many ways can young athletes sabotage their sports performance?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In lots of ways, says Dr. Harold Shinitzky, a sports psychologist and author of <em>\u201cYour Mind: An Owner\u2019s Manual for a Better Life.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201cA lot of athletes, based on how they think of themselves, engage in behaviors that interfere with their ultimate performance. That\u2019s the saboteur,\u201d<\/em> he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Examples? When kids decide to eat poorly, get little sleep, or engage in other activities that trip them up, they\u2019re sabotaging themselves, he says. They also think in ways that sabotage their performance and happiness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For example, one golfer placed unobtainable demands on himself about his putting. If he missed a putt, he\u2019d dwell on the next one so much he\u2019d trip himself up. <em>\u201cHe was setting himself up for failure by holding himself up to unobtainable goals,\u201d<\/em> says Shinitzky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here at Kids\u2019 Sports Psychology, we call this holding<strong> high expectations<\/strong>. When kids have such high expectations, they get frustrated when they don\u2019t meet them. They then don\u2019t perform well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Solution\"><\/span><strong>The Solution:<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Help your young athletes manage their own expectations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They need to <strong>focus<\/strong> on small, achievable <strong>mini-goals<\/strong>\u2014make four good shots on the goal, for example\u2014rather than on getting big wins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Another way that athletes set themselves up is if they <strong>focus<\/strong> on their opponents, not on their own play. This hurts their performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Here\u2019s an example:<\/strong> When golfers compete with Tiger Woods, they <strong>focus<\/strong> so much on the fact that they\u2019re competing with Woods that they average one stroke worse than usual!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201cIt\u2019s not that Tiger is changing them. Instead of <strong>focusing<\/strong> on their own behavior\u2014which they can control\u2014they <strong>focus<\/strong> on an external distraction,\u201d<\/em> he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We call this making comparisons. We think kids need to be aware of when they\u2019re making comparisons\u2014and should take efforts to stop doing this&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They need to understand that making comparisons generally lowers sports kids\u2019 <strong>self-confidence<\/strong>. Instead, kids need to change what they <strong>focus<\/strong> on. They need to <strong>focus<\/strong> on what they should do to get the job done. They shouldn\u2019t put other players on a pedestal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kids\u2019 Sports Psychology offers loads of other resources for helping you be the best sport parent possible and help your kids make the most of their physical talent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you\u2019re already a Kids\u2019 Sports Psychology member, you can begin by listening to our interview with Shinitzky about kids\u2019 sabotaging their performance. Also free for Kids\u2019 Sports Psychology members are access to e-books, audios and videos that address these topics (and more):<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>&nbsp;Appreciate Your Talents: How to Avoid Making <strong>Comparisons<\/strong> (e-book for kids)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Pre-competition <strong>Mental Game<\/strong> Review Sheets for Young Athletes (e-book for kids)<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Confidence<\/strong> Video Tip 14: Postgame Tips to Grow <strong>Confidence<\/strong> (video for kids)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>But that\u2019s not all. At Kids&#8217; Sports Psychology, you can download more than 17 e-books\u2014some written for parents and some specifically for sports kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can also access audio and video programs and articles that help you and your young athletes get the most out of your sports experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/high-expectations-and-anger-in-youth-sports\/\"><strong>High Expectations and Anger in Youth Sports<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/goals-vs-expectations-for-kids\/\"><strong>Goals vs. Expectations for Kids<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids\/\"><strong>The Pressure of Expectations for Kids<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\"><\/span><strong>Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/mental-training-for-young-athletes.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6868\" style=\"width:138px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re certain that, as a parent,&nbsp;you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life.&nbsp;And as a sports parent, you\u2019d love for your children to reach their potential in sports.&nbsp;But encouraging your child to <strong>strive for greatness without pressuring them<\/strong> can be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today\u2019s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Call Us Today to Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Session.<\/strong><br><strong>Find Out How Your Athlete Can Benefit From One-on-One Mental Coaching!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Pitfalls of High Expectations Just how many ways can young athletes sabotage their sports performance? In lots of ways, says Dr. Harold Shinitzky, a sports psychologist and author of \u201cYour Mind: An Owner\u2019s Manual for a Better Life.\u201d \u201cA lot of athletes, based on how they think of themselves, &#8230; <a title=\"How Are Sports Kids Their Own Worst Enemies?\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-are-sports-kids-their-own-worst-enemies\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about How Are Sports Kids Their Own Worst Enemies?\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3421,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,8,18,6],"tags":[53,68,253,50,182,254,260],"class_list":["post-363","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-confidence-in-young-athletes","category-goals-for-kids-in-sports","category-young-athletes-pressure","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-focus","tag-high-expectations","tag-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-self-confidence","tag-sports-parents","tag-sports-psychology-for-kids","tag-young-athletes-pressure","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/363","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=363"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/363\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3421"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=363"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=363"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=363"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}