{"id":4348,"date":"2017-02-17T18:40:08","date_gmt":"2017-02-17T18:40:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=4348"},"modified":"2025-07-11T02:50:19","modified_gmt":"2025-07-11T06:50:19","slug":"helping-sports-kids-who-feel-pressured-by-adult-values","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-sports-kids-who-feel-pressured-by-adult-values\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Sports Kids Who Feel Pressured By Adult Values"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Giving_Youth_Sports_Back_to_Kids\"><\/span>Giving Youth Sports Back to Kids<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-sports-kids-who-feel-pressured-by-adult-values\/#Giving_Youth_Sports_Back_to_Kids\" >Giving Youth Sports Back to Kids<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-sports-kids-who-feel-pressured-by-adult-values\/#The_number_one_challenge_for_coaches_adults_and_administrators_according_to_Bigalow_is\" >The number one challenge for coaches, adults, and administrators according to Bigalow is:<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-sports-kids-who-feel-pressured-by-adult-values\/#Listen_to_the_entire_Ultimate_Sports_Parent_podcast_now\" >Listen to the entire Ultimate Sports Parent podcast now:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-sports-kids-who-feel-pressured-by-adult-values\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-sports-kids-who-feel-pressured-by-adult-values\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignleft is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"300\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/youth-sports-podcast-new.jpg\" alt=\"Ultimate Sports Parent Podcast\" class=\"wp-image-3780\" style=\"width:193px;height:auto\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/youth-sports-podcast-new.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/10\/youth-sports-podcast-new-150x150.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;Nine-year-olds have the amazing ability to act like nine-year-olds,&#8221;<\/em> says Bob Bialow, a former NBA players and author of &#8220;<em>Just Let The Kids Play<\/em>,&#8221; and, &#8220;<em>Youth Sports: Still Failing Out Kids<\/em>,&#8221; in a recent interview for our podcast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;Most of the folks running youth sports, however, haven&#8217;t been 9 in decades and sometimes forget what it&#8217;s like to be a kid,&#8221;<\/em> he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_number_one_challenge_for_coaches_adults_and_administrators_according_to_Bigalow_is\"><\/span>The number one challenge for coaches, adults, and administrators according to Bigalow is:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;Can you suspend your adult brains and make this about kids? Or will your adult brain and competitiveness override your brain?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While Bigalow likes to use nine-year-olds an an example, he says he is most worried about the young athletes who are are 9-18.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;Now they&#8217;re beginning to show talent and competitive urges of kids start to surface. They start comparing themselves to others,&#8221;<\/em> he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here at Kids&#8217; Sports Psychology, we think kids shouldn&#8217;t compare themselves to others. That&#8217;s what we call a mental game no-no. When they do this, they stop <strong>focusing<\/strong> on what they bring to sports, and instead <strong>focus<\/strong> on others&#8217; strengths.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>During the interview, <strong>mental game<\/strong> expert Dr. Patrick Cohn noted that he sees kids feeling like they need to adopt their parents&#8217; adult work <strong>ethics<\/strong> and <strong>values,<\/strong> especially when their in high school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But that often comes across as pressure, which doesn&#8217;t boost kids <strong>confidence<\/strong> and performance in sports&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Listen_to_the_entire_Ultimate_Sports_Parent_podcast_now\"><\/span>Listen to the entire Ultimate Sports Parent podcast now:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-4348-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"http:\/\/lisacohn.audioacrobat.com\/download\/lisacohn-20170214121845-1370.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"http:\/\/lisacohn.audioacrobat.com\/download\/lisacohn-20170214121845-1370.mp3\">http:\/\/lisacohn.audioacrobat.com\/download\/lisacohn-20170214121845-1370.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids\/\"><strong>The Pressure of Expectations for Kids<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/\"><strong>A Big Mistake Sports Parents Make After Games<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-do-parental-expectations-hurt-young-athletes\/\"><strong>How Do Parental Expectations Hurt Young Athletes?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Giving Youth Sports Back to Kids &#8220;Nine-year-olds have the amazing ability to act like nine-year-olds,&#8221; says Bob Bialow, a former NBA players and author of &#8220;Just Let The Kids Play,&#8221; and, &#8220;Youth Sports: Still Failing Out Kids,&#8221; in a recent interview for our podcast. &#8220;Most of the folks running youth &#8230; <a title=\"Helping Sports Kids Who Feel Pressured By Adult Values\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-sports-kids-who-feel-pressured-by-adult-values\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Helping Sports Kids Who Feel Pressured By Adult Values\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3780,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,6],"tags":[96,117],"class_list":["post-4348","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-youth-sports-podcast","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-pressure-from-sports-parents","tag-youth-sports-psychology"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4348","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4348"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4348\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3780"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4348"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4348"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4348"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}