{"id":4667,"date":"2017-07-06T15:17:58","date_gmt":"2017-07-06T15:17:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=4667"},"modified":"2025-07-10T08:12:05","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T12:12:05","slug":"parents-give-your-kids-permission-to-make-mistakes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-give-your-kids-permission-to-make-mistakes\/","title":{"rendered":"Parents: Give Your Kids Permission to Make Mistakes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-4696 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/parents-give-your-kids-permission-to-make-mistakes.jpg\" alt=\"Moving on After Mistakes\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/parents-give-your-kids-permission-to-make-mistakes.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/parents-give-your-kids-permission-to-make-mistakes-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Do_Parents_Expect_Athlete_to_Not_Make_Mistakes\"><\/span>Do Parents Expect Athlete to Not Make Mistakes?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-give-your-kids-permission-to-make-mistakes\/#Do_Parents_Expect_Athlete_to_Not_Make_Mistakes\" >Do Parents Expect Athlete to Not Make Mistakes?<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-give-your-kids-permission-to-make-mistakes\/#What_can_you_do_as_a_coach_or_sports_parent\" >What can you do as a coach or sports parent?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-give-your-kids-permission-to-make-mistakes\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-give-your-kids-permission-to-make-mistakes\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Do your sports kids struggle with their <strong>composure<\/strong> or game after making mistakes? We receive this question a lot:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>A coach asks:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;I coach a U16 girls team, and I find that while they are great athletically, they tend to fold under pressure and crumble under the weight of their mistakes. How do I communicate to them that its okay to make a mistake?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learning to cope with mistakes is an important part of improving your kids&#8217; <strong>mental game.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kids who can deal with mistakes will show more <strong>composure.<\/strong> They remain <strong>calm<\/strong> and in control, no matter the situation. They move on after mistakes without having a big monkey on their back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You do want kids to understand that mistakes are part of learning and growing&#8230; And that mistakes happen at all levels of sports&#8211;even the pros make mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And worrying about mistakes makes kids play <strong>tentatively<\/strong> or safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As Michael Jordan once said, <em>&#8220;I\u2019ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I\u2019ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I\u2019ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I\u2019ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Young athletes, in particular, have a hard time coping with goof-ups&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Perfectionists<\/strong> struggle the most with mistakes. They get upset quickly when not playing to their expectations. Once they become frustrated, they tend to dwell on the past mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the case of this coach\u2019s question, the athletes are dwelling on mistakes, rather than <strong>letting go<\/strong> and moving on, which often leads to more mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_can_you_do_as_a_coach_or_sports_parent\"><\/span>What can you do as a coach or sports parent?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Sports parents need to help athletes manage their expectations. Ask kids to not have high expectations for their performance. Instead, you want them to <strong>focus<\/strong> on small objectives to focus on the process, such as to find space in the soccer game or to see the ball early when batting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In addition, help kids change the way they perceive mistakes. Instead of thinking,<em> &#8220;I stink today!&#8221;<\/em>, try to help them focus on their strengths and talents.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When they do make mistakes, your athletes need to accept it and move on. Ask them to use three imaginary &#8220;get out of jail free&#8221; cards to help them move on after mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Positive Coaching Alliance suggests parents show them a &#8220;flushing&#8221; sign when they goof up, to tell them to let it go&#8211;its in the past.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-athletes-play-to-not-make-mistakes\/\"><strong>When Athletes Play to Not Make Mistakes<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-parents-make-mistakes-too\/\"><strong>Sports Parents Make Mistakes, Too<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-kids-can-learn-to-make-the-most-of-mistake-while-competing\/\"><strong>How Kids Can Learn to Make the Most of Mistakes While Competing<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/\"><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do Parents Expect Athlete to Not Make Mistakes? Do your sports kids struggle with their composure or game after making mistakes? We receive this question a lot: A coach asks: &#8220;I coach a U16 girls team, and I find that while they are great athletically, they tend to fold under &#8230; <a title=\"Parents: Give Your Kids Permission to Make Mistakes\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-give-your-kids-permission-to-make-mistakes\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Parents: Give Your Kids Permission to Make Mistakes\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4698,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[375,44],"class_list":["post-4667","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-composure-in-youth-sports","tag-letting-go-of-mistakes"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4667","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4667"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4667\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4698"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4667"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4667"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4667"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}