{"id":4723,"date":"2017-08-31T18:12:30","date_gmt":"2017-08-31T18:12:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=4723"},"modified":"2025-07-10T07:58:23","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T11:58:23","slug":"parents-who-have-different-objectives-for-their-young-athletes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-who-have-different-objectives-for-their-young-athletes\/","title":{"rendered":"Parents Who Have Different Objectives for Their Young Athletes"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4727\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/parents-who-have-different-objectives-for-their-young-athletes.jpg\" alt=\"Conflicting Sports Parents\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/parents-who-have-different-objectives-for-their-young-athletes.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/08\/parents-who-have-different-objectives-for-their-young-athletes-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Helping_Sports_Parents_Get_on_The_Same_Page_With_Athletes\"><\/span>Helping Sports Parents Get on The Same Page With Athletes<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_86 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-who-have-different-objectives-for-their-young-athletes\/#Helping_Sports_Parents_Get_on_The_Same_Page_With_Athletes\" >Helping Sports Parents Get on The Same Page With Athletes<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-who-have-different-objectives-for-their-young-athletes\/#When_parents_send_conflicting_messages_to_their_children_the_children_do_not_know_who_to_listen_to_or_try_to_appease_both_parents\" >When parents send conflicting messages to their children, the children do not know who to listen to or try to appease both parents.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-who-have-different-objectives-for-their-young-athletes\/#If_you_struggle_with_competing_parent_interests_heres_what_to_do%E2%80%A6\" >If you struggle with competing parent interests, here\u2019s what to do&#8230;<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-who-have-different-objectives-for-their-young-athletes\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-who-have-different-objectives-for-their-young-athletes\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>A sports parent asks:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>&#8220;I would like to know how to face the challenge of competing parent interests. My x-husband and I seem to want very different things from our children\u2019s experience with sports.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Parents who <strong>communicate<\/strong> different ideas to their children can make their sports kids <strong>confused, hurt<\/strong> their performance, and <strong>take the fun out<\/strong> of the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When_parents_send_conflicting_messages_to_their_children_the_children_do_not_know_who_to_listen_to_or_try_to_appease_both_parents\"><\/span>When parents send conflicting messages to their children, the children do not know who to listen to or try to appease both parents.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They will struggle to decide which parent to listen to, knowing they will be taking sides if they chose one. They may <strong>fear <\/strong>loss of support if they shun what one parent says over the other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Conflicting messages provide children with something worse than a bad game plan: <strong>No game plan.<\/strong> Without being sure of where to put their energy, sports kids will <strong>overthink<\/strong> their performance and <strong>lose confidence.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If this behavior goes on, the game will cease to be fun for your children. With two separate voices telling your children where to <strong>focus<\/strong> their energy, they won\u2019t be able to chose one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"If_you_struggle_with_competing_parent_interests_heres_what_to_do%E2%80%A6\"><\/span>If you struggle with competing parent interests, here\u2019s what to do&#8230;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Communicate with the other parent.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The message your children receive has to be coordinated in order to give the child a building block in sports; a <strong>clear goal.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Find mutual goals for both you and your spouse.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If your children are young, this goal can simply be to play as hard as they can or have as much fun as they can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If they are a little older, you can set something small and tangible, such as getting six rebounds in a basketball game or getting five interceptions in a soccer game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you as parents can not agree on a message or goals to communicate to your children, it may be best to rely on what your children wants out of sport.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you can have an honest discussion with your child about their participation in sport, this may guide you in developing consistent messages for your athlete.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Keep in mind that kids want to make their parents happy and they may sit the fence when you discuss their goals in sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Or your athletes may want to make sports-minded parents happy about their goals in sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-should-show-sports-kids-they-care-about-more-than-the-win\/\"><strong>Parents Should Show Sports Kids They Care About More than the Win<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/should-parents-only-focus-on-fun-in-youth-sports\/\"><strong>Should Parents Only Focus on Fun in Youth Sports?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sport-is-the-athletes-journey-not-parents\/\"><strong>Sport is the Athletes\u2019 Journey, Not Parents<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to&nbsp;<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>&nbsp;on iTunes<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/\"><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Helping Sports Parents Get on The Same Page With Athletes A sports parent asks: &#8220;I would like to know how to face the challenge of competing parent interests. My x-husband and I seem to want very different things from our children\u2019s experience with sports.&#8221; Parents who communicate different ideas to &#8230; <a title=\"Parents Who Have Different Objectives for Their Young Athletes\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-who-have-different-objectives-for-their-young-athletes\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Parents Who Have Different Objectives for Their Young Athletes\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4726,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,292,6],"tags":[312,616],"class_list":["post-4723","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sports-parenting","category-sports-parents-success-tips","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-parents-and-communication","tag-sport-parent-conflicts"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO Pro 5.0.0.1 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Conflicting messages provide children with something worse than a bad game plan: No game plan.They will be unsure where to put their energy.\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"max-image-preview:large\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Patrick Cohn\"\/>\n\t<meta name=\"keywords\" content=\"conflicting messages 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