{"id":4785,"date":"2017-11-16T18:20:42","date_gmt":"2017-11-16T18:20:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=4785"},"modified":"2025-07-10T07:38:33","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T11:38:33","slug":"five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game\/","title":{"rendered":"Five Ways Sports Parents Hurt Kids&#8217; Mental Game"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4789\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Mental Game\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/11\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_Should_Sports_Parents_NOT_Do\"><\/span>What Should Sports Parents NOT Do?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game\/#What_Should_Sports_Parents_NOT_Do\" >What Should Sports Parents NOT Do?<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game\/#1_Yelling_directions_and_%E2%80%9Ccoaching%E2%80%9D_from_the_sidelines\" >1. Yelling directions and &#8220;coaching&#8221; from the sidelines.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game\/#2_Dwelling_on_mistakes\" >2. Dwelling on mistakes.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game\/#3_Focus_too_much_on_the_score_or_the_win\" >3. Focus too much on the score or the win.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game\/#4_Dwell_too_much_on_college_scholarships_and_all-star_teams\" >4. Dwell too much on college scholarships and all-star teams.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game\/#5_Concentrating_too_much_on_sports_accomplishments\" >5. Concentrating too much on sports accomplishments.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game\/#Want_to_learn_more_about_how_to_boost_your_kids_confidence_in_sports\" >Want to learn more about how to boost your kids\u2019 confidence in sports?<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Sports parents can inadvertently undermine their kids\u2019 <strong>mental game.<\/strong> You might not be aware of the ways you hurt your athletes <strong>confidence<\/strong> and <strong>composure<\/strong>&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Here are five ways:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Yelling_directions_and_%E2%80%9Ccoaching%E2%80%9D_from_the_sidelines\"><\/span>1. Yelling directions and &#8220;coaching&#8221; from the sidelines.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>This is damaging for many reasons. First, this will <strong>embarrass<\/strong> your kids. They will feel the <strong>pressure<\/strong> of kids and parents looking at them and feel singled out by your behavior.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Further, if you yell at them when they make mistakes or if you tell them to do better or work harder, you hurt their <strong>confidence.<\/strong> You want to leave the coaching to the coach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Dwelling_on_mistakes\"><\/span>2. Dwelling on mistakes.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Do you tend to <strong>focus<\/strong> on kids\u2019 mistakes and lecture them after games? <strong>Focusing<\/strong> on the negative will not help your children grow as players, and will exert extra <strong>pressure.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This hurts their <strong>confidence.<\/strong> Find a few <strong>positive<\/strong> things to say after a game, even a loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Focus_too_much_on_the_score_or_the_win\"><\/span>3. Focus too much on the score or the win.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>It is common in sports to make winning important, but for your young sports children, this is a no-no. You want them to be grounded in the here-and-now, not <strong>focusing<\/strong> on the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Concentrate<\/strong> on helping kids <strong>focus<\/strong> on the process of playing. They should <strong>focus<\/strong> on specific in-game tasks that could help the team win\u2014passing, rebounding and defense, for example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Dwell_too_much_on_college_scholarships_and_all-star_teams\"><\/span>4. Dwell too much on college scholarships and all-star teams.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>This can be especially harmful to kids\u2019 <strong>mental game<\/strong> because kids will feel <strong>pressure<\/strong> and will take on your <strong>high expectations<\/strong> as their own.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, challenge them to have fun in sports and make new friends!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Concentrating_too_much_on_sports_accomplishments\"><\/span>5. Concentrating too much on sports accomplishments.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s only natural to be proud of your children, but often parents of successful sports children flaunt their children\u2019s trophies and accomplishments too much, bragging to friends and neighbors.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This type of behavior tells your kids that <strong>success<\/strong> is more important than the process, learning new skills, and fun of playing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Want_to_learn_more_about_how_to_boost_your_kids_confidence_in_sports\"><\/span>Want to learn more about how to boost your kids\u2019 confidence in sports?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn everything you need to know about what to say and do before a game here:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-kids-identities-shouldnt-be-all-about-sports\/\"><strong>Why Kids\u2019 Identities Shouldn\u2019t be All About Sports<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-kids-can-learn-to-make-the-most-of-mistake-while-competing\/\"><strong>How Kids Can Learn to Make the Most of Mistakes While Competing<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-toxic-sports-cultures-hurt-kids-mental-health\/\"><strong>How Toxic Sports Cultures Hurt Kids\u2019 Mental Health<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What Should Sports Parents NOT Do? Sports parents can inadvertently undermine their kids\u2019 mental game. You might not be aware of the ways you hurt your athletes confidence and composure&#8230; Here are five ways: 1. Yelling directions and &#8220;coaching&#8221; from the sidelines. This is damaging for many reasons. First, this &#8230; <a title=\"Five Ways Sports Parents Hurt Kids&#8217; Mental Game\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/five-ways-sports-parents-hurt-kids-mental-game\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Five Ways Sports Parents Hurt Kids&#8217; Mental Game\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4788,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[623],"class_list":["post-4785","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-confidence-in"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4785","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4785"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4785\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4788"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4785"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4785"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4785"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}