{"id":48,"date":"2008-02-04T13:45:48","date_gmt":"2008-02-04T13:45:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=48"},"modified":"2025-08-08T05:52:26","modified_gmt":"2025-08-08T09:52:26","slug":"sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism\/","title":{"rendered":"Sports Parents Share Stories About Kids&#8217; Perfectionism"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-3458\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Identifying_Perfectionism_in_Young_Athletes\"><\/span>Identifying Perfectionism in Young Athletes<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism\/#Identifying_Perfectionism_in_Young_Athletes\" >Identifying Perfectionism in Young Athletes<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism\/#4_Steps_For_Positive_Change\" >4 Steps For Positive Change<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Lisa Cohn here from <a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\">The Ultimate Sports Parent.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I would like to share some quick tips about identifying <strong>perfectionism<\/strong> and fear of failure in young athletes. This is a really hot topic in youth sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Several parents and coaches have shared their stories about young athletes&#8217; challenges with <strong>perfectionism.<\/strong> They talk about how fear of failure prevents kids from performing well in competition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your awareness is the first step in helping your kids cope with fear of failure and <strong>perfectionism.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One parent said that my recent story helped her understand how perfectionism affected her daughter:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;It took your story \u2018Confessions of a Sports Mom Who Fueled Her Son&#8217;s Perfectionism&#8217; for me to actually identify what was happening with my 10-year-old daughter (she plays badminton).&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Understanding the challenges for <strong>perfectionists<\/strong> helped her child feel more <strong>relaxed<\/strong> and happy on the court, she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;Just following your suggestions has cleared up a lot of confusion in my mind. It is making a difference in her practice game sessions already. And both of us are more relaxed and happy at the court. I look forward to more from you, to make my child&#8217;s game improve in a happy and healthy way.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My brother, Dr. Patrick Cohn, tells athletes and their parents that they need to take four steps to move toward <strong>positive<\/strong> change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Steps_For_Positive_Change\"><\/span>4 Steps For Positive Change<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Understand the challenge<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Understand how it affects them<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Recognize the importance of powerful mental game strategies<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Commit to changing<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Both Patrick and I are sports parents ourselves. We have both seen our sports kids held back by <strong>perfectionism<\/strong> and fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After highlighting this issue in my recent story, <em>&#8220;Confessions of a Sports Mom,&#8221; <\/em>many of our readers are now recognizing the issue and telling us that their children and teens struggle with the same challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As a matter of fact, most of the questions we receive daily from parents are about how to overcome their kids&#8217; fear of failure and <strong>perfectionism.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That&#8217;s why I asked my brother to put together a short video. His video shows how fear of failure and <strong>perfectionism<\/strong> are linked to each other. More than 800 people have already viewed the video.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here is the link if you have not seen it yet:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth-sports-psychology-videos\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><strong>Helping Young Athletes Kick Perfectionism Preview Video <\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I encourage you to post your experiences with perfectionist athletes on our blog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>What are your challenges?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What are your frustrations as parents and coaches?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>What are you success stories?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Our readers tell us they appreciate and learn from others&#8217; stories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Please post your comments at the end of the story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-parents-top-dilemma-program\/\"><strong>Helping Young Athletes Kick Perfectionism and Fear of Failure<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-kids-see-the-good-and-bad-of-perfectionism-in-sports\/\"><strong>Helping Kids See the Good and Bad of Perfectionism in Sports<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-free-sports-kids-from-the-bonds-of-perfectionism\/\"><strong>How To Free Sports Kids From The Bonds of Perfectionism<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to<strong>\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Identifying Perfectionism in Young Athletes Lisa Cohn here from The Ultimate Sports Parent. I would like to share some quick tips about identifying perfectionism and fear of failure in young athletes. This is a really hot topic in youth sports. Several parents and coaches have shared their stories about young &#8230; <a title=\"Sports Parents Share Stories About Kids&#8217; Perfectionism\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-parents-share-stories-about-kids-perfectionism\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Sports Parents Share Stories About Kids&#8217; Perfectionism\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3457,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,5,28,27,17,25,6],"tags":[358,281,299],"class_list":["post-48","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-freezing-in-competition","category-kids-in-sports","category-perfectionism-in-sports","category-perfectionism-is-young-athletes","category-sports-parenting","category-youth-sports-coach","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-manage-perfectionism-in-young-athletes","tag-perfectionism-in-young-athletes","tag-young-athlete-fear-of-failure","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3457"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}