{"id":4808,"date":"2017-12-18T17:42:07","date_gmt":"2017-12-18T17:42:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=4808"},"modified":"2025-07-10T07:27:51","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T11:27:51","slug":"help-sports-kids-who-worry-about-disappointing-teammates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-who-worry-about-disappointing-teammates\/","title":{"rendered":"Help Sports Kids Who Worry About Disappointing Teammates"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4810\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/help-sports-kids-who-worry-about-disappointing-teammates-1.jpg\" alt=\"youth-sports-social-approval\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/help-sports-kids-who-worry-about-disappointing-teammates-1.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/12\/help-sports-kids-who-worry-about-disappointing-teammates-1-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Helping_Young_Athletes_Define_Their_Self-Concept\"><\/span>Helping Young Athletes Define Their Self-Concept<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-who-worry-about-disappointing-teammates\/#Helping_Young_Athletes_Define_Their_Self-Concept\" >Helping Young Athletes Define Their Self-Concept<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-who-worry-about-disappointing-teammates\/#Focus_On_Yourself\" >Focus On Yourself<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-who-worry-about-disappointing-teammates\/#Help_your_children_define_their_self-concept\" >Help your children define their self-concept.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-who-worry-about-disappointing-teammates\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-who-worry-about-disappointing-teammates\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>A sports parent asks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;How do I help my child be more <strong>focused<\/strong> on his role on the team and not so worried about disappointing his teammates and others?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s common for sports kids to worry about disappointing others. Kids often seek <strong>social approval,<\/strong> something we all do to some extent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kids, and adults, want to be respected and feel the support of teammates, coaches, and people around them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, in sports, kids should <strong>focus<\/strong> on their game and not on what others are thinking of them. They need to give themselves the brain space to play well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Focus_On_Yourself\"><\/span>Focus On Yourself<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>While nerves can be helpful in boosting athletic performance, worries will hinder performance. When your children worry about impressing their parents or letting down their teammates or coaches, they can get <strong>nervous<\/strong> and <strong>jittery.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These nerves and <strong>negative thoughts<\/strong> impact their working memory, making them slower to react or perform well during the game. What\u2019s more, they\u2019re <strong>distracted<\/strong> from doing their jobs in sports, which also leads to lowered performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Often this poor performance hurts their <strong>self-confidence<\/strong> and creates an avalanche&#8230; As their mistakes build, their <strong>confidence<\/strong> wanes further, and their worries take over even more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To find out if your children have an unhealthy need for <strong>social approval<\/strong> in sports, ask them some simple questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ask them if they want to by liked by others. Ask them if they are afraid they\u2019re going to let down their coaches or teammates, or if it\u2019s important to them that they impress others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If they say yes, then it\u2019s time to take some steps to correct these ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s also time if you as a parent know that your child is grappling with <strong>social approval.<\/strong> Often, they\u2019ll deal with this challenge in other areas of their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_your_children_define_their_self-concept\"><\/span>Help your children define their self-concept.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>When people have strong <strong>self-concepts,<\/strong> they don\u2019t need others\u2019 approval to feel <strong>self-confident.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ask your kids to select some traits that describe them outside of sports. Ask other people to do the same about your kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Use the results to create a strong <strong>self-concept<\/strong> that your kids can hold onto when they perform athletically. Soon, they\u2019ll <strong>focus<\/strong> less on what others think of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/helping-young-athletes-kick-perfectionism\/\"><strong>Learn more about how to deal with kids who worry about social approval by checking out our Ultimate Sports Parent program:<\/strong><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/challenges-for-athletes-in-the-age-of-social-media\/\"><strong>Challenges for Athletes in the Age of Social Media<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-kids-have-high-intensity-to-perform-well\/\"><strong>Helping Kids Have High Intensity to Perform Well<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/signs-of-performance-anxiety-in-young-athletes\/\"><strong>Signs of Performance Anxiety in Young Athletes<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">T<strong>he Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Helping Young Athletes Define Their Self-Concept A sports parent asks: &#8220;How do I help my child be more focused on his role on the team and not so worried about disappointing his teammates and others?&#8221; It\u2019s common for sports kids to worry about disappointing others. Kids often seek social approval, &#8230; <a title=\"Help Sports Kids Who Worry About Disappointing Teammates\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-who-worry-about-disappointing-teammates\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Help Sports Kids Who Worry About Disappointing Teammates\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4811,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,17,292,6],"tags":[309,300],"class_list":["post-4808","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-confidence-in-young-athletes","category-sports-parenting","category-sports-parents-success-tips","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-confidence-in-youth-sports","tag-social-approval-in-sports"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4808","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4808"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4808\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4811"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4808"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4808"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4808"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}