{"id":4844,"date":"2018-02-16T17:32:36","date_gmt":"2018-02-16T17:32:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=4844"},"modified":"2025-07-10T07:14:24","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T11:14:24","slug":"how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Help Athletes Who Stop Trying or Give Up"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4847\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up.jpg\" alt=\"Is Your Young Athlete a Perfectionist?\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Is_Your_Young_Athlete_a_Perfectionist\"><\/span>Is Your Young Athlete a Perfectionist?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_85 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up\/#Is_Your_Young_Athlete_a_Perfectionist\" >Is Your Young Athlete a Perfectionist?<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up\/#To_check_if_your_sports_kids_are_perfectionists_ask_yourself_a_few_questions%E2%80%A6\" >To check if your sports kids are perfectionists, ask yourself a few questions&#8230;<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up\/#To_do_this_first_identify_their_expectations\" >To do this, first identify their expectations.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up\/#Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\" >Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A young athlete asks:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>&#8220;I&#8217;m 14 years old and have been playing tennis since I was 5. But 2 years ago I started to go to an academy. And at the same time I started to play tournaments. One of my coaches calls me a bull because I&#8217;m always so <strong>stubborn<\/strong> and get so upset when I do something wrong. But the only reason why I get <strong>upset<\/strong> is because I know I can do better. But when I get <strong>upset,<\/strong> it&#8217;s like I just <strong>stop trying<\/strong>&#8230; I like <strong>give up<\/strong>. So I&#8217;ve been taking my time by trying to find ways to keep my cool and to stay <strong>mentally tough.<\/strong> I get all these <strong>thoughts of what people are going to think<\/strong> of me. Especially my parents. I&#8217;ve been trying to prevent it but I can&#8217;t help it. And as soon as I start to think of it, I start to push the ball in the court or hit extremely hard for no reason.&#8221;<\/em><br><strong>~Samantha<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While it is perfectly normal for sports kids like Samantha to get a upset when they do something wrong, but when it starts to hurt their performance, you may have a <strong>perfectionist<\/strong> on your hands that sabotages their game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Perfectionists<\/strong> have the ability to work incredibly hard. The downside is <strong>perfectionists<\/strong> do not take failure well at all, and freezing up and quitting are the main coping techniques for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Perfectionists<\/strong> expect so much of themselves that they build up a toxic amount of stress when they don\u2019t perform up to their <strong>expectations,<\/strong> and this hurts their performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Perfectionists<\/strong> tend to be more emotionally involved in sports, feeling the highs and the lows of the game more then their peers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">While this can bring extreme elation when they succeed, it does the very opposite when they fail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"To_check_if_your_sports_kids_are_perfectionists_ask_yourself_a_few_questions%E2%80%A6\"><\/span>To check if your sports kids are perfectionists, ask yourself a few questions&#8230;<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do they <strong>focus<\/strong> on the score? Or do they focus on the game, having fun and improving their skills?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If your kids struggle while <strong>focusing<\/strong> on wins and their own performance, you know it is time to help them readjust their expectations and manage the challenges with <strong>perfectionism.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"To_do_this_first_identify_their_expectations\"><\/span>To do this, first identify their expectations.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Do they need to be the team star?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do they want to score twenty points or three goals a game?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do they think they should make zero mistakes?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Does their performance have to feel and look good?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Do they worry about reaching others&#8217; expectations?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Try to help them let go of these result-based expectations and replace them with team goals that focus on their role in the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Instead of focusing on being the leading scorer, what if they focus on keeping themselves between the man and the basket or good team communication?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-perfectionists-overcome-fragile-confidence\/\"><strong>Helping Perfectionists Overcome Fragile Confidence<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-one-coach-helped-a-perfectionist-athlete-with-some-help\/\"><strong>How One Coach Helped a Perfectionist Athlete<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-expectations-trap-for-perfectionists\/\"><strong>The Expectations Trap for Perfectionists<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\"><\/span><strong>Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/mental-training-for-young-athletes.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6868\" style=\"width:138px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We\u2019re certain that, as a parent,&nbsp;you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life.&nbsp;And as a sports parent, you\u2019d love for your children to reach their potential in sports.&nbsp;But encouraging your child to <strong>strive for greatness without pressuring them<\/strong> can be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today\u2019s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Call Us Today to Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Session.<\/strong><br><strong>Find Out How Your Athlete Can Benefit From One-on-One Mental Coaching!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is Your Young Athlete a Perfectionist? A young athlete asks: &#8220;I&#8217;m 14 years old and have been playing tennis since I was 5. But 2 years ago I started to go to an academy. And at the same time I started to play tournaments. One of my coaches calls me &#8230; <a title=\"How to Help Athletes Who Stop Trying or Give Up\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-athletes-who-stop-trying-or-give-up\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about How to Help Athletes Who Stop Trying or Give Up\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4846,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,6],"tags":[310,281],"class_list":["post-4844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sports-psychology-for-kids","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-focus-in-youth-sports","tag-perfectionism-in-young-athletes"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t<!-- All in One SEO Pro 4.9.8 - aioseo.com -->\n\t<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Perfectionists have the ability to work incredibly hard. 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