{"id":4925,"date":"2018-05-30T19:58:57","date_gmt":"2018-05-30T19:58:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=4925"},"modified":"2025-07-10T06:48:59","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T10:48:59","slug":"when-sports-kids-are-bullied-by-coaches","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-are-bullied-by-coaches\/","title":{"rendered":"When Sports Kids Are Bullied By Coaches"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Deal_With_Bully_Coaches\"><\/span>How to Deal With Bully Coaches<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-are-bullied-by-coaches\/#How_to_Deal_With_Bully_Coaches\" >How to Deal With Bully Coaches<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-are-bullied-by-coaches\/#When_your_children_are_bullied_they_are_likely_to_think_there_is_something_wrong_with_them\" >When your children are bullied, they are likely to think there is something wrong with them.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-are-bullied-by-coaches\/#When_youve_decided_that_you_are_dealing_with_a_bully_coach_you_need_to_act_quickly\" >When you\u2019ve decided that you are dealing with a bully coach, you need to act quickly.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-are-bullied-by-coaches\/#Listen_to_our_interview_with_the_sports_mom_here_and_how_she_dealt_with_a_bully_coach\" >Listen to our interview with the sports mom here and how she dealt with a bully coach:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-are-bullied-by-coaches\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-are-bullied-by-coaches\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>Do your sports children complain about being bullied, teased, or intimidated by coaches?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One sports mom recently told us her own story about how much a <strong>bully coach<\/strong> hurt her son&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;Some of it was outright verbal, mental, <strong>emotional abuse.<\/strong> And a lot of times the coach would say, &#8216;I do this because I want you to get better or I am being hard on you because I care,'&#8221;<\/em> she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She described how hard it was to convince her son\u2019s school\u2019s administration to take action on the <strong>bullying,<\/strong> and how <strong>frustrated<\/strong> she feels. But this mom isn\u2019t giving up\u2014and either should you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No matter how well-intended coaches may be, they still can fall into the behavior that was common when they grew up, namely the &#8220;tough love&#8221; coaching style.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this situation, it is best to realize that the coach may be doing what he or she thinks is best for your sports kid, but you still must take action to stop the bullying!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While it was once common for coaches to be viewed as taskmasters, rather than bullies, <strong>sports psychology<\/strong> has furthered our knowledge of how this can hurt players, especially at a young age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just as a good coach can keep a sports kids\u2019 interest in sports alive, <strong>bully coaches<\/strong> who use harsh words and <strong>negativity<\/strong> will undermine kids\u2019 interest in sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When_your_children_are_bullied_they_are_likely_to_think_there_is_something_wrong_with_them\"><\/span>When your children are bullied, they are likely to think there is something wrong with them.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>They will feel uncomfortable playing and will have a hard time figuring out where to <strong>focus<\/strong> their attention. Essentially, they will play in fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is a time in your sports children\u2019s lives where the intention should be to have as much fun as possible and build <strong>confidence<\/strong> for the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When_youve_decided_that_you_are_dealing_with_a_bully_coach_you_need_to_act_quickly\"><\/span>When you\u2019ve decided that you are dealing with a bully coach, you need to act quickly.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>You should first talk to the coach to try to <strong>communicate<\/strong> your concerns, framing the concerns as worrying about your child\u2019s <strong>self-confidence<\/strong> as opposed to telling the coach he is a bad coach or a <strong>bully.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If the coach does not listen or change how he is treating your child, it is best that you consider moving your child to a different team or talking to a league or school administrator about the coach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Listen_to_our_interview_with_the_sports_mom_here_and_how_she_dealt_with_a_bully_coach\"><\/span>Listen to our interview with the sports mom here and how she dealt with a bully coach:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-rich is-provider-embed-handler wp-block-embed-embed-handler\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<audio class=\"wp-audio-shortcode\" id=\"audio-4925-1\" preload=\"none\" style=\"width: 100%;\" controls=\"controls\"><source type=\"audio\/mpeg\" src=\"https:\/\/lisacohn.audioacrobat.com\/download\/lisacohn-20180530103423-5922.mp3?_=1\" \/><a href=\"https:\/\/lisacohn.audioacrobat.com\/download\/lisacohn-20180530103423-5922.mp3\">https:\/\/lisacohn.audioacrobat.com\/download\/lisacohn-20180530103423-5922.mp3<\/a><\/audio>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-should-parents-react-when-they-see-a-player-bullied\/\"><strong>How Should Parents React When They See a Player Bullied?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-parents-you-can-help-your-athletes-if-they-are-bullied\/\"><strong>Sports Parents: You Can Help Your Athletes if They Are Bullied<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/dont-believe-sports-kids-are-bullied-learn-about-cnn-poll\/\"><strong>Don\u2019t Believe Sports Kids Are Bullied Too? Learn About CNN Poll<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to Deal With Bully Coaches Do your sports children complain about being bullied, teased, or intimidated by coaches? One sports mom recently told us her own story about how much a bully coach hurt her son&#8230; &#8220;Some of it was outright verbal, mental, emotional abuse. And a lot of &#8230; <a title=\"When Sports Kids Are Bullied By Coaches\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-sports-kids-are-bullied-by-coaches\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about When Sports Kids Are Bullied By Coaches\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3780,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,17,15,6],"tags":[621,511],"class_list":["post-4925","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-abusive-coaches-youth-sports","category-sports-parenting","category-sports-parent-podcast","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-bully-coaches-in-youth-sports","tag-bullying-in-youth-sports"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4925","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4925"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4925\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3780"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4925"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4925"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4925"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}