{"id":4990,"date":"2018-09-04T17:47:44","date_gmt":"2018-09-04T17:47:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=4990"},"modified":"2025-07-10T06:31:13","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T10:31:13","slug":"a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/","title":{"rendered":"A Big Mistake Sports Parents Make After Games"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-4997\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"When_to_Communicate_With_Sports_Kids_After_Games\"><\/span>When to Communicate With Sports Kids After Games<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/#When_to_Communicate_With_Sports_Kids_After_Games\" >When to Communicate With Sports Kids After Games<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/#%E2%80%9CIs_now_the_right_time_to_talk_about_this_Is_this_helping_or_hurting_my_childs_mental_game%E2%80%9D\" >&#8220;Is now the right time to talk about this? Is this helping or hurting my child\u2019s mental game?&#8221;<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/#Why\" >Why?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/#Hold_off_on_talking_about_the_game_too_much_after_a_loss\" >Hold off on talking about the game too much after a loss.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/#Tell_Us_Your_Story\" >Tell Us Your Story<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">After a game, it\u2019s only natural to want to talk about all the things, good or bad, that you noticed about your athlete&#8217;s performance during the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Whether you want to drown your children in praise or have some critiques about their performance, ask yourself:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"%E2%80%9CIs_now_the_right_time_to_talk_about_this_Is_this_helping_or_hurting_my_childs_mental_game%E2%80%9D\"><\/span><em>&#8220;Is now the right time to talk about this? Is this helping or hurting my child\u2019s mental game?&#8221;<\/em><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Keep in mind that sports can be <strong>emotionally<\/strong> <strong>exhausting<\/strong>&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A child\u2019s win or loss can cause everyone to feel <strong>emotional<\/strong> in ways that can color their feelings and thoughts for hours after the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s not a good idea to talk about the game for at least 30 minutes\u2014or more&#8230; the 30-minute-rule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why\"><\/span>Why?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If your children experience a loss, they may get <strong>angry, frustrated<\/strong> and <strong>upset.<\/strong> And you might be <strong>emotional<\/strong> too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">True <strong>communication<\/strong> is very difficult for anyone who is emotional. While this is a given truth for adults, this is even harder for kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The emotions create &#8220;noise&#8221; that will cause your kids to interpret your message in a <strong>negative<\/strong> way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s unlikely you and your young athletes will be able to have true <strong>communication<\/strong> at this point.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">What\u2019s more, trying to talk to them right after a game may make them feel <strong>pressured<\/strong> to perform better next game, which can undermine their <strong>confidence.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">For example, many parents we work with want to help their kids improve by <strong>focusing<\/strong> on what went wrong, but this can backfire for your athletes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Hold_off_on_talking_about_the_game_too_much_after_a_loss\"><\/span>Hold off on talking about the game too much after a loss.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Instead, find a couple of <strong>positive<\/strong> things to say that may be <strong>confidence building,<\/strong> and then wait at least for 30 minutes before you talk about the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This 30-minute-rule gives your sports children time to <strong>calm<\/strong> down after a loss, and you will find that talking about the loss later, when both of you have some <strong>emotional<\/strong> distance from the game, creates a more open and less <strong>stressful<\/strong> environment to discuss the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Be sure to remind your young athletes that a loss is a necessary part of the game and is not the end of the world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Remind them that this is but one game of the many they will play, and that no one is judging them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Remind your sports kids that losing does not make them bad competitors, and that their performance will improve if they accept that losses are inevitable\u2014and that they can learn from them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tell them you simple enjoyed watching them perform and how proud you are of them&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Tell_Us_Your_Story\"><\/span>Tell Us Your Story<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We&#8217;d like to hear your stories about <strong>communication<\/strong> with your athletes after competition&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If you don&#8217;t wait 30-minutes before talking to kids about their performance, how do they respond? What do they want to talk about post-competition?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Email with your story to mentalcoach@peaksports.com<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-kids-can-learn-to-make-the-most-of-mistake-while-competing\/\"><strong>How Kids Can Learn to Make the Most of Mistakes While Competing<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-wing-it-during-games\/\"><strong>Helping Young Athletes \u2018Wing it\u2019 During Games<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/do-your-young-athletes-feel-satisfied-after-a-game\/\"><strong>Do Your Young Athletes Feel Satisfied after a Game?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>on iTunes<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When to Communicate With Sports Kids After Games After a game, it\u2019s only natural to want to talk about all the things, good or bad, that you noticed about your athlete&#8217;s performance during the game. Whether you want to drown your children in praise or have some critiques about their &#8230; <a title=\"A Big Mistake Sports Parents Make After Games\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about A Big Mistake Sports Parents Make After Games\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4996,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[382,312],"class_list":["post-4990","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-communication-with-sports-kids","tag-parents-and-communication"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4990","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4990"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4990\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4996"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4990"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4990"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4990"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}