{"id":5005,"date":"2018-09-17T17:40:17","date_gmt":"2018-09-17T17:40:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=5005"},"modified":"2025-07-10T06:28:20","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T10:28:20","slug":"are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents\/","title":{"rendered":"Are Your Athletes Self-Motivated or Driven by Parents?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-5007\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Help_Sports_Kids_Be_Self-Motivated\"><\/span>How to Help Sports Kids Be Self-Motivated<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents\/#How_to_Help_Sports_Kids_Be_Self-Motivated\" >How to Help Sports Kids Be Self-Motivated<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents\/#Why_do_they_play_sports\" >Why do they play sports?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents\/#Remember_the_things_that_create_motivation_in_sports_are_intrinsic_such_as\" >Remember, the things that create motivation in sports are intrinsic, such as:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents\/#Have_it_be_a_reachable_but_challenging_goal\" >Have it be a reachable but challenging goal.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents\/#Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\" >Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p><strong>A sports parent asks:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;How can I help my son learn how to be self-motivated so that he can improve his tennis game?&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dan Coyle, the author of &#8220;The Talent Code,&#8221; argues that you have to help your children by cultivating their <strong>passion.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Passion, he says, makes learning a quick and enjoyable experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Passionate, <strong>self-motivated<\/strong> sports kids play because they enjoy the experience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They do not look for extrinsic rewards and do not need to be pushed to perform.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That means that pushing your kids into sports with the hope that it will create a passion is a huge mistake.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Likewise, &#8220;bribing&#8221; them by offering them something in return for their participation is unlikely to produce <strong>self-motivation.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Research has shown that extrinsic rewards do not help sports children with motivation at all!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead of pushing, talk to your children about the things they enjoy (or may enjoy) about playing sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_do_they_play_sports\"><\/span>Why do they play sports?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Is it to be with friends and socialize?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Is it out of a love of competition?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By helping your sports kids <strong>focus<\/strong> on the things they enjoy about their sports, you help them cultivate their passion and <strong>self-motivation.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Remember_the_things_that_create_motivation_in_sports_are_intrinsic_such_as\"><\/span>Remember, the things that create motivation in sports are intrinsic, such as:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>socializing with friends<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>having fun competing<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>building self-confidence through improvement<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Another way to promote <strong>self-motivation<\/strong> is to help kids pick a personal goal for their sport, something that comes from them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Have_it_be_a_reachable_but_challenging_goal\"><\/span>Have it be a reachable but challenging goal.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>It should be difficult enough to excite your sports kids\u2019 ambitions but not so difficult as to make them feel like they could never accomplish it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In this specific case, the parents of the tennis player above could talk to the tennis player about why he likes playing tennis in the first place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If he says he enjoys the time with his friends, remind him that working on his game could let him continue playing with his friends for years to come.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If it is for the competition, remind him how good it feels to be in the midst of it! Then help him set an aggressive &#8211; yet reachable &#8211; <strong>goal<\/strong> for the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-young-athletes-turn-criticism-into-motivation\/\"><strong>Help Young Athletes Turn Criticism into Motivation<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-the-mental-game-helps-elite-athletes-and-others\/\"><strong>How the Mental Game Helps Elite Athletes and Others<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/do-your-kids-feel-like-sports-is-a-job\/\"><strong>Do Your Kids Feel like Sports is a Job?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to<strong> <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a> <\/strong>on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\"><\/span><strong>Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/mental-training-for-young-athletes.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6868\" style=\"width:138px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re certain that, as a parent,&nbsp;you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life.&nbsp;And as a sports parent, you\u2019d love for your children to reach their potential in sports.&nbsp;But encouraging your child to <strong>strive for greatness without pressuring them<\/strong> can be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today\u2019s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Call Us Today to Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Session.<\/strong><br><strong>Find Out How Your Athlete Can Benefit From One-on-One Mental Coaching!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to Help Sports Kids Be Self-Motivated A sports parent asks: &#8220;How can I help my son learn how to be self-motivated so that he can improve his tennis game?&#8221; Dan Coyle, the author of &#8220;The Talent Code,&#8221; argues that you have to help your children by cultivating their passion. &#8230; <a title=\"Are Your Athletes Self-Motivated or Driven by Parents?\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-your-athletes-self-motivated-or-driven-by-parents\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Are Your Athletes Self-Motivated or Driven by Parents?\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5006,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,7,6],"tags":[632,459],"class_list":["post-5005","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sports-parenting","category-sports-psychology-for-kids","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-goals-in-youth-sports","tag-motivation-in-youth-sports"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5005","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5005"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5005\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5006"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5005"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5005"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5005"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}