{"id":5038,"date":"2018-11-02T14:46:21","date_gmt":"2018-11-02T14:46:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=5038"},"modified":"2025-07-10T06:14:31","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T10:14:31","slug":"one-trap-for-sports-parent-that-hurts-kids-confidence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/one-trap-for-sports-parent-that-hurts-kids-confidence\/","title":{"rendered":"One Trap for Parents That Hurts Kids&#8217; Confidence"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-5044\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/one-trap-for-parents-that-hurts-kids-confidence.jpg\" alt=\"Sports Parent That Hurts Kids' Confidence\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/one-trap-for-parents-that-hurts-kids-confidence.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/11\/one-trap-for-parents-that-hurts-kids-confidence-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Avoiding_Comparisons_to_Boost_Confidence_in_Young_Athletes\"><\/span>Avoiding Comparisons to Boost Confidence in Young Athletes<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/one-trap-for-sports-parent-that-hurts-kids-confidence\/#Avoiding_Comparisons_to_Boost_Confidence_in_Young_Athletes\" >Avoiding Comparisons to Boost Confidence in Young Athletes<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/one-trap-for-sports-parent-that-hurts-kids-confidence\/#The_first_thing_to_remember_as_sports_parents_is_to_avoid_making_comparisons\" >The first thing to remember as sports parents is to avoid making comparisons.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/one-trap-for-sports-parent-that-hurts-kids-confidence\/#You_want_to_build_teamwork_communication_confidence_values_and_integrity_via_sports_participation\" >You want to build teamwork, communication, confidence, values, and integrity via sports participation.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/one-trap-for-sports-parent-that-hurts-kids-confidence\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/one-trap-for-sports-parent-that-hurts-kids-confidence\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>As sports parents, we all strive to be <strong>positive<\/strong> and <strong>happy<\/strong> role models for our children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Unfortunately, the <strong>stresses<\/strong> of sports can bring out the <strong>negative<\/strong> in us if we don\u2019t try to keep an <strong>actively positive mind<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The trap is that well-meaning sports parents can undermine their sports children&#8217;s <strong>confidence,<\/strong> which eventually will lead to less fun and lower performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_first_thing_to_remember_as_sports_parents_is_to_avoid_making_comparisons\"><\/span>The first thing to remember as sports parents is to avoid making comparisons.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>According to Janis B. Meredith, author of 11 Habits of Happy and Positive Sports Parents, comparing your child to another athlete or sibling may seem like an efficient <strong>motivational<\/strong> tactic, but actually, it\u2019s effect is short-lived, if it even has a positive effect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Negatively comparing your children to each other or others will only harm their <strong>confidence,<\/strong> and while it might inspire a short burst of effort, in the long run it will hurt sports kids,&#8217; <strong>confidence<\/strong> she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here at the Ultimate Sports Parent and Kids\u2019 Sports Psychology, we agree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Comparisons lead kids to put others on pedestals. Instead, your athletes should be focusing on their own strengths!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In addition to avoiding comparisons, sports parents should remember that <strong>the purpose of sports is to have fun and learn valuable lessons<\/strong> that will help your children grow into <strong>confident<\/strong> adults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"You_want_to_build_teamwork_communication_confidence_values_and_integrity_via_sports_participation\"><\/span>You want to build teamwork, communication, confidence, values, and integrity via sports participation.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>None of this has anything to do with winning or losing, so stop worrying about the score, stats, scholarships, and instead <strong>focus on the process<\/strong>, says Meredith.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What\u2019s more, she says, you need to tell them you love them and show unconditional love no matter how they perform. Most kids feel <strong>pressure<\/strong> to perform well for parents&#8211;even when you are super supportive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Communicating<\/strong> that we love our children helps them learn the right lessons from the sports they play. It helps build their <strong>confidence,<\/strong> and <strong>encourages<\/strong> them to have fun expressing themselves in sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kids pick up on the way you act on the sidelines; remember to be <strong>positive<\/strong> and <strong>let go of your own frustrations<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-avoid-comparison-trap-for-sports-parents\/\"><strong>How to Avoid Comparison Trap for Sports Parents<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-expectations-trap-for-perfectionists\/\"><strong>The Expectations Trap for Perfectionists<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-sports-parents-shouldnt-encourage-perfectionism\/\"><strong>Why Sports Parents Shouldn\u2019t Encourage Perfectionism<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Avoiding Comparisons to Boost Confidence in Young Athletes As sports parents, we all strive to be positive and happy role models for our children. Unfortunately, the stresses of sports can bring out the negative in us if we don\u2019t try to keep an actively positive mind. The trap is that &#8230; <a title=\"One Trap for Parents That Hurts Kids&#8217; Confidence\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/one-trap-for-sports-parent-that-hurts-kids-confidence\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about One Trap for Parents That Hurts Kids&#8217; Confidence\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5040,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26,5,35,19,17,292,6],"tags":[312,272],"class_list":["post-5038","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-confidence-in-young-athletes","category-kids-in-sports","category-pressure-from-parents","category-pressure-in-sports","category-sports-parenting","category-sports-parents-success-tips","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-parents-and-communication","tag-positive-sports-parents"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5038","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5038"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5038\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5040"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5038"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5038"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5038"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}