{"id":5117,"date":"2019-01-31T19:25:42","date_gmt":"2019-01-31T19:25:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=5117"},"modified":"2025-07-10T05:53:14","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T09:53:14","slug":"parents-do-you-want-kids-to-have-fun-or-perform-well","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-do-you-want-kids-to-have-fun-or-perform-well\/","title":{"rendered":"Parents: Do You Want Kids to Have Fun or Perform Well?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/parents-do-you-want-kids-to-have-fun-or-perform-well.jpg\" alt=\"How to Focus on The Fun in Youth Sports\" class=\"wp-image-5121\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/parents-do-you-want-kids-to-have-fun-or-perform-well.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/parents-do-you-want-kids-to-have-fun-or-perform-well-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Focus_on_The_Fun_in_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>How to Focus on The Fun in Youth Sports<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-do-you-want-kids-to-have-fun-or-perform-well\/#How_to_Focus_on_The_Fun_in_Youth_Sports\" >How to Focus on The Fun in Youth Sports<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-do-you-want-kids-to-have-fun-or-perform-well\/#Parents_need_to_understand_that_more_than_half_of_all_sports_kids_drop_out_by_the_age_of_13_because_theyre_not_having_fun_anymore\" >Parents need to understand that more than half of all sports kids drop out by the age of 13 because they\u2019re not having fun anymore.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-do-you-want-kids-to-have-fun-or-perform-well\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-do-you-want-kids-to-have-fun-or-perform-well\/#The_Composed_Sports_Kid\" >The Composed Sports Kid<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>A sports mom wrote:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;My son is 8 years old and has been playing hockey since he was 4. He has been on the \u201ctravel\u201d team for two years now&#8230; He loves to play but has absolutely no drive to win. I do not know how to change his mentality to understand that sports are not just for enjoyment but are also to be won, especially team sports.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The parents of 8-year-old kids should not <strong>focus<\/strong> on perform well or winning, as this sports parent does.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Above all, they need to ensure their kids are having <strong>fun<\/strong> and keep coming back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Parents_need_to_understand_that_more_than_half_of_all_sports_kids_drop_out_by_the_age_of_13_because_theyre_not_having_fun_anymore\"><\/span>Parents need to understand that more than half of all sports kids drop out by the age of 13 because they\u2019re not having fun anymore.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead of <strong>pressuring<\/strong> kids to be top performers, sports parents\u2019 goal should be to keep them in sports for the long run&#8211;and learning life skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That means <strong>focusing<\/strong> on why the kids are participating.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Generally, at this age, your athletes play to be with friends, learn some skills, be part of a group, and have a good time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Later, when sports kids are age 14-16, it\u2019s okay to <strong>focus<\/strong> more on <strong>peak performance.<\/strong> But again, only <strong>focusing<\/strong> on having a great game or winning sucks the enjoyment out of sports for most kids.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Athletes feel the <strong>pressure<\/strong> from parents when you talk about scoring goals, playing their best, and not making mistakes&#8211;weather this is stated or now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead of <strong>concentrating<\/strong> on playing great all the time when you have younger kids, be sure to <strong>focus<\/strong> learning and growing skills.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Encourage<\/strong> kids to be <strong>good communicators,<\/strong> great <strong>team players<\/strong> and to think about how they can boost their defensive skills, for example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When they are in the <strong>flow,<\/strong> they are having <strong>fun<\/strong> and enjoying the moment. This means you want them to <strong>focus<\/strong> on one play, shot or routine at a time, not worry about how you think they are performing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The more &#8220;<strong>in the momen<\/strong>t&#8221; kids are, the more likely they feel &#8220;flow&#8221; and enjoy sports&#8211;which leads to staying in athletics for the long term.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-sports-must-be-fun-for-young-athletes\/\"><strong>Why Sports Must be Fun for Young Athletes<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-have-more-fun\/\"><strong>Helping Young Athletes Have More Fun\u00a0<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/should-parents-only-focus-on-fun-in-youth-sports\/\"><strong>Should Parents Only Focus on Fun in Youth Sports?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a> <\/strong>on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Composed_Sports_Kid\"><\/span>The Composed Sports Kid<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/composed-sports-kid-small-1.jpg\" alt=\"The Composed Sports Kid\" class=\"wp-image-11173\" style=\"width:170px\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>&#8220;The Composed Sports Kid&#8221; audio&nbsp;and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>The Composed Sports Kid system<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;is really two programs in one\u2013one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes\u2013<em>ages 6 to 13<\/em>\u2013how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance,&nbsp;<strong>and thus enjoy sports more<\/strong>!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-26bcd9b3\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-903b6244 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-confident-sports-kid-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-3275f4fd gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/collections\/confident-sports-kid-series-digital-version\/products\/the-confident-sports-kid-bundle-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to Focus on The Fun in Youth Sports A sports mom wrote: &#8220;My son is 8 years old and has been playing hockey since he was 4. He has been on the \u201ctravel\u201d team for two years now&#8230; He loves to play but has absolutely no drive to win. &#8230; <a title=\"Parents: Do You Want Kids to Have Fun or Perform Well?\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/parents-do-you-want-kids-to-have-fun-or-perform-well\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Parents: Do You Want Kids to Have Fun or Perform Well?\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5120,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,7,6],"tags":[612,301],"class_list":["post-5117","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sports-parenting","category-sports-psychology-for-kids","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-fun-in-youth-sports","tag-pressure-in-youth-sports"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5117","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5117"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5117\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5120"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5117"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5117"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5117"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}