{"id":5193,"date":"2019-04-11T19:43:19","date_gmt":"2019-04-11T19:43:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=5193"},"modified":"2025-07-10T05:31:25","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T09:31:25","slug":"when-kids-worry-about-others-judging-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-kids-worry-about-others-judging-them\/","title":{"rendered":"When Kids Worry About Others Judging Them"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/when-kids-worry-about-others-judging-them-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5195\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/when-kids-worry-about-others-judging-them-1.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/when-kids-worry-about-others-judging-them-1-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Help_Young_Athletes_Overcome_Worry\"><\/span>How to Help Young Athletes Overcome Worry<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-kids-worry-about-others-judging-them\/#How_to_Help_Young_Athletes_Overcome_Worry\" >How to Help Young Athletes Overcome Worry<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-kids-worry-about-others-judging-them\/#The_first_step_is_to_talk_to_your_athletes_and_find_out_what_theyre_thinking%E2%80%A6\" >The first step is to talk to your athletes and find out what they\u2019re thinking\u2026<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-kids-worry-about-others-judging-them\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-kids-worry-about-others-judging-them\/#The_Composed_Sports_Kid\" >The Composed Sports Kid<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>A sports parent wrote to us recently to say\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;My son is a top player but cannot perform any longer in matches when there is a crowd watching. He is 17, however he is as tight as a drum when playing matches now.&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&#8220;He still wins but says he only gets 20% of his ability to come through because he\u2019s so tight. He loses to better players because of tightness. What can we do?&#8221;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This young athlete&#8211;like many others&#8211;struggles with social <strong>approval<\/strong>, which means he worries about the possibility that others may be judging his game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When he worries about what <strong>others think <\/strong>about his performance, he is distracted from the game at hand and unable to focus and play his best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He might worry about looking foolish in front of so many people or making a mistake in matches. Either way, such worries cause kids to perform tight and try to avoid mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When young athletes worry about what <strong>others think<\/strong>, they can&#8217;t focus 100% on the game. They become afraid to make mistakes and take risks. They struggle with playing intuitively and freely, which is when they play their best.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_first_step_is_to_talk_to_your_athletes_and_find_out_what_theyre_thinking%E2%80%A6\"><\/span>The first step is to talk to your athletes and find out what they\u2019re thinking\u2026<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Are they worried about:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>*Making mistakes in front of the crowd?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>*Losing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>*Looking foolish in front of others?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>*Embarrassing themselves?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>*Gaining your approval?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Next, find out when they think about others and what assumptions they are making about what others MIGHT BE thinking. This is key. Identifying the assumptions they make is a big step in helping them avoid worrying so much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Once you have identified these assumptions, it&#8217;s time to help kids focus on the game at hand. They need to challenge these assumptions and you can help inject some reality. How do they really know others might be judging them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Remind your athletes to focus on performance cues, such as footwork, committing to the plan, and tactics. Remind them to focus on seeing the ball early and anticipating each shot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By focusing on the small important objectives, kids are less likely to worry about <strong>social approval<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-athletes-only-dwell-on-post-game-mistakes\/\"><strong>When Athletes Only Dwell on Post Game Mistakes<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-athletes-worry-about-being-judged\/\"><strong>When Athletes Worry About Being Judged<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-help-self-critical-athletes\/\"><strong>How to Help Self-Critical Athletes<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a> <\/strong>on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Composed_Sports_Kid\"><\/span>The Composed Sports Kid<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/composed-sports-kid-small-1.jpg\" alt=\"The Composed Sports Kid\" class=\"wp-image-11173\" style=\"width:170px\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>&#8220;The Composed Sports Kid&#8221; audio&nbsp;and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>The Composed Sports Kid system<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;is really two programs in one\u2013one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes\u2013<em>ages 6 to 13<\/em>\u2013how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance,&nbsp;<strong>and thus enjoy sports more<\/strong>!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-26bcd9b3\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-903b6244 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-confident-sports-kid-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-3275f4fd gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/collections\/confident-sports-kid-series-digital-version\/products\/the-confident-sports-kid-bundle-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>How to Help Young Athletes Overcome Worry A sports parent wrote to us recently to say\u2026 &#8220;My son is a top player but cannot perform any longer in matches when there is a crowd watching. He is 17, however he is as tight as a drum when playing matches now.&#8221; &#8230; <a title=\"When Kids Worry About Others Judging Them\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-kids-worry-about-others-judging-them\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about When Kids Worry About Others Judging Them\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5196,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,18,6],"tags":[66],"class_list":["post-5193","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kids-in-sports","category-young-athletes-pressure","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-worrying-about-what-others-think"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5193","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5193"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5193\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5196"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5193"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5193"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5193"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}