{"id":5932,"date":"2019-07-03T19:42:43","date_gmt":"2019-07-03T19:42:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=5932"},"modified":"2025-07-31T01:44:10","modified_gmt":"2025-07-31T05:44:10","slug":"are-parents-too-soft-on-sports-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-parents-too-soft-on-sports-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Are Parents Too Soft on Sports Kids?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Car_Ride_Home\"><\/span>The Car Ride Home<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-parents-too-soft-on-sports-kids\/#The_Car_Ride_Home\" >The Car Ride Home<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-parents-too-soft-on-sports-kids\/#Car_Ride_Conversation\" >Car Ride Conversation<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-parents-too-soft-on-sports-kids\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-parents-too-soft-on-sports-kids\/#Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\" >Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>A viral video, \u201c<strong>The Ride Home<\/strong>,\u201d by True Sport Pur, generated many interesting comments from college and professional athletes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The video shows&#8211;on the car ride home&#8211;a dad scolding his child for not working hard enough, and the young boy doesn\u2019t respond, but looks very sad. The caption to the video from True Sport Pur:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cSeventy percent of kids quit sports before high school. How we talk to our kids about sports is how we keep our kids in sports.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here at Youth Sports Psychology and the Ultimate Sport Parent, we suggest that parents refrain from talking about the game on the ride home.The Positive Coaching Alliance suggests a cool down period as well&#8211;from 30-60 minutes where parents don&#8217;t talk about the competition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We have suggested that parents avoid discussing mistakes with their kids, the way the dad does in the video. This tends to hurt kids\u2019 confidence and can make kids feel as if they have to be perfect, which undermines their performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We suggest that parents talk about the game only if the kids want to discuss it on the ride home. Later, when everyone has cooled down, it makes more sense to discuss the game&#8211;but only if the young athlete is eager to do so.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Car_Ride_Conversation\"><\/span>Car Ride Conversation<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>However, many of the college and professional athletes who commented on the video on twitter (in response to a request from a coach who posted the video on twitter) said that parents these days are &#8220;too soft&#8221; on their young athletes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sam Fischer, a professional softball player, said, \u201cMy dad always told me, \u2018If you don\u2019t want to talk about the bad games\/practices then we\u2019re not going to talk about the good ones either.\u2019 Those tough rides home are the reason I am where I am.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Shelley Budnick, a college volleyball player, said, \u201c<strong>The ride home<\/strong> sucked growing up, but it molded me into the competitive athlete I am today and is the reason why I play in college. Kids now a days are too soft and can\u2019t take criticism.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Zach Terrell, a former NFL player, said, \u201cMixed feelings on this&#8211;some parents take youth sports way too serious. But, if it wasn\u2019t for my parents and \u2018the ride home\u2019 Then I would never have learned accountability.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He added that the bigger story is why <strong>kids are quitting when things get tough<\/strong> or when they are held accountable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Truth is, kids quit sports because they\u2019re not having fun anymore. Does this make them soft or less accountable?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re interested in your comments! Please watch the short video and post your comments below&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"The Ride Home\" width=\"1200\" height=\"675\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/-0e8zvvY-x8?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p>Or if you feel strongly about this topic, let us know if you\u2019d like to discuss this on our \u201cUltimate Sports Parent Radio\u201d podcast! You can return this email<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Help your young athletes make the most of their sports experience!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/do-your-young-athletes-feel-satisfied-after-a-game\/\"><strong>Do Your Young Athletes Feel Satisfied after a Game?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/what-to-do-or-say-after-your-athletes-compete\/\"><strong>What to Do or Say After Your Athletes Compete?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/\"><strong>A Big Mistake Sports Parents Make After Games<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\"><\/span><strong>Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/mental-training-for-young-athletes.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6868\" style=\"width:138px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re certain that, as a parent,&nbsp;you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life.&nbsp;And as a sports parent, you\u2019d love for your children to reach their potential in sports.&nbsp;But encouraging your child to <strong>strive for greatness without pressuring them<\/strong> can be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today\u2019s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Call Us Today to Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Session.<\/strong><br><strong>Find Out How Your Athlete Can Benefit From One-on-One Mental Coaching!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The Car Ride Home A viral video, \u201cThe Ride Home,\u201d by True Sport Pur, generated many interesting comments from college and professional athletes. The video shows&#8211;on the car ride home&#8211;a dad scolding his child for not working hard enough, and the young boy doesn\u2019t respond, but looks very sad. The &#8230; <a title=\"Are Parents Too Soft on Sports Kids?\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-parents-too-soft-on-sports-kids\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Are Parents Too Soft on Sports Kids?\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5936,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,35,6],"tags":[96],"class_list":["post-5932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kids-in-sports","category-pressure-from-parents","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-pressure-from-sports-parents"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5932"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5932\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5936"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5932"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}