{"id":5951,"date":"2019-07-19T16:44:24","date_gmt":"2019-07-19T16:44:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=5951"},"modified":"2025-07-10T04:52:47","modified_gmt":"2025-07-10T08:52:47","slug":"what-to-do-or-say-after-your-athletes-compete","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/what-to-do-or-say-after-your-athletes-compete\/","title":{"rendered":"What to Do or Say After Your Athletes Compete?"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/what-to-do-or-say-after-your-athletes-compete-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-5953\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/what-to-do-or-say-after-your-athletes-compete-1.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/what-to-do-or-say-after-your-athletes-compete-1-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"What_to_Say_on_the_Car_Ride_Home_After_the_Game\"><\/span>What to Say on the Car Ride Home After the Game<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/what-to-do-or-say-after-your-athletes-compete\/#What_to_Say_on_the_Car_Ride_Home_After_the_Game\" >What to Say on the Car Ride Home After the Game<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/what-to-do-or-say-after-your-athletes-compete\/#Post-Game_Conversation\" >Post-Game Conversation<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/what-to-do-or-say-after-your-athletes-compete\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/what-to-do-or-say-after-your-athletes-compete\/#The_Composed_Sports_Kid\" >The Composed Sports Kid<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>This week, we are following up on a video we shared last week about <a rel=\"noreferrer noopener\" aria-label=\"the car ride home (opens in a new tab)\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/are-parents-too-soft-on-sports-kids\/\" target=\"_blank\">&#8220;The Car Ride Home<\/a>&#8220;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We provide tips on how parents can help kids feel <strong>confident<\/strong> after the game\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sports parents often unwittingly make the mistake of hurting their kids confidence after a game or competition. This often happens during the car ride home, or even before kids get in the car.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before you <strong>discuss<\/strong> the game or competition, make sure your kids want to <strong>discuss<\/strong> it. They may need a cooling off period.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Positive Coaching Alliance suggest as least a 30-munute cool off period for athletes and parents before discussing the game. For some athletes, it might be much longer than 30 minutes&#8211;you have the gauge this for each athlete.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If they are open to talking, avoid being negative or focusing on mistakes. Don\u2019t dwell on mistakes your athletes made at this time. It may hurt kids\u2019 <strong>confidence<\/strong> as the worry that they are not good enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Post-Game_Conversation\"><\/span>Post-Game Conversation<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Make sure that your children know that they are great people no matter how well they performed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A single performance doesn\u2019t determine who they are as people. If they think \u201cI played badly,\u201d it can quickly turn into \u201cI am bad\u201d or \u201cI am not good enough.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You want your athletes to <strong>separate<\/strong> their person from the athlete. A bad performance or losing a game doesn&#8217;t mean they are bad people, but this is often the trap athletes fall into.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you discuss the game, begin by making two positive comments. Focusing on the positive will help your sports children learn to do the same, which will help build their resistance to thoughts that may sink their confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Compliment<\/strong> them on a few things they did well. You might ask your children what they did well today.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After the game, avoid being emotional or showing frustration. Respond to their performances&#8211;both good and bad&#8211;with the same, calm attitude. Avoid looking too excited about wins and too upset about loses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s important to show them you love them no matter what&#8211;and your athletes are worthy people no matter how they do in sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And be sure to help them &#8220;<strong>switch roles<\/strong>&#8221; after the game. This means leaving their role of athletes on the field and focusing on other areas of their lives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/do-your-young-athletes-feel-satisfied-after-a-game\/\"><strong>Do Your Young Athletes Feel Satisfied after a Game?<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-athletes-can-move-on-after-a-bad-game-or-failure\/\"><strong>How Athletes Can Move on after a Bad Game or Failure<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/a-big-mistake-sports-parents-make-after-games\/\"><strong>A Big Mistake Sports Parents Make After Games<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Composed_Sports_Kid\"><\/span>The Composed Sports Kid<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"360\" height=\"400\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/confident-sports-kid-med.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-11913\" style=\"width:170px\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/confident-sports-kid-med.jpg 360w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/confident-sports-kid-med-270x300.jpg 270w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 360px) 100vw, 360px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>&#8220;The Composed Sports Kid&#8221; audio&nbsp;and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>The Composed Sports Kid system<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;is really two programs in one\u2013one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes\u2013<em>ages 6 to 13<\/em>\u2013how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance,&nbsp;<strong>and thus enjoy sports more<\/strong>!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-26bcd9b3\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-903b6244 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-confident-sports-kid-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-3275f4fd gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/collections\/confident-sports-kid-series-digital-version\/products\/the-confident-sports-kid-bundle-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What to Say on the Car Ride Home After the Game This week, we are following up on a video we shared last week about &#8220;The Car Ride Home&#8220;. We provide tips on how parents can help kids feel confident after the game\u2026 Sports parents often unwittingly make the mistake &#8230; <a title=\"What to Do or Say After Your Athletes Compete?\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/what-to-do-or-say-after-your-athletes-compete\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about What to Do or Say After Your Athletes Compete?\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5954,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,17,6],"tags":[264],"class_list":["post-5951","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kids-in-sports","category-sports-parenting","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-confidence-in-young-athletes"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5951","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5951"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5951\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5954"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5951"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5951"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5951"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}