{"id":6019,"date":"2019-10-14T14:16:27","date_gmt":"2019-10-14T14:16:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=6019"},"modified":"2025-07-09T08:28:46","modified_gmt":"2025-07-09T12:28:46","slug":"why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-on-sports-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-on-sports-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Adults Shouldn\u2019t Heap Superstar Expectations"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6031\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-1.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/10\/why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-1-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Do_Parents_Pressure_Kids_to_be_Superstars\"><\/span>  Do Parents Pressure Kids to be Superstars? <span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-on-sports-kids\/#Do_Parents_Pressure_Kids_to_be_Superstars\" >Do Parents Pressure Kids to be Superstars?<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-on-sports-kids\/#But_some_kids_learn_how_to_ignore_the_labeling_and_do_the_best_they_can\" >But some kids learn how to ignore the labeling and do the best they can.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-on-sports-kids\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-on-sports-kids\/#The_Composed_Sports_Kid\" >The Composed Sports Kid<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>In the world of youth sports, we focus too much on \u201c<strong>the next big thing<\/strong>\u201d, creating high <strong>expectations<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eighth grade basketball player Elijah Fisher has been described by his coach at Grassroots Elite (Canada), \u201cElijah could be the best player to ever come out of Canada.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some have said of high school junior quarterback Eli Brickhandler, \u201cHe\u2019s the <strong>next big thing<\/strong> for quarterbacks in the state of California.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>While such labels may feel like compliments, they also heap high expectations on sports kids and exert too much pressure.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Young athletes feel as if they have to work harder than ever to live up to such <strong>labels<\/strong>. In fact, they sometimes feel as if they have to be better than others who are seen as top athletes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Such <strong>pressure<\/strong> can cause kids to under perform or drop out at an early age.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kids need to let go of high <strong>expectations<\/strong>; they shouldn\u2019t be saddled with a lot of pressure from others to be the next big thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kids should instead focus on the process of playing. They should focus on what\u2019s right in front of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Suggest they ask themselves, \u201cWhat should you do right now to perform your best? How can you improve today or this week?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"But_some_kids_learn_how_to_ignore_the_labeling_and_do_the_best_they_can\"><\/span>But some kids learn how to ignore the <strong>labeling<\/strong> and do the best they can.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Take 18-year-old soccer fullback Sergino Dest, for example.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Dest, who recently started playing for the US Men\u2019s National Team, also started matches internationally for AJAX, the most successful club in the Netherlands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Displaying strong mental game skills, Dest was extremely focused on playing his game and improving. He concentrated on a goal: staying on the first team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201c[The US Men\u2019s National Team gave] me a chance in preseason to play with the first team and it went very well. My focus was like, \u2018I want to stay there and I don\u2019t want to go back to the second team.\u2019 So I played really well, and they gave me more chances and I succeeded with those chances,\u201d <\/em>he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kids need to let go of<strong> high expectations<\/strong>; they shouldn\u2019t take others\u2019 expectations on as their own. They shouldn\u2019t have to play when saddled with a lot of pressure from others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Like Dest, kids need to focus on the process of playing. They should focus on what\u2019s right in front of them. Help them ask themselves, \u201cWhat should you do right now to perform your best? How can you improve today or this week?\u201d Instead of attempting to live up to others\u2019 expectations, kids need to concentrate on being in the moment, and learning and growing. With this attitude, they\u2019re more likely to stay in the game&#8211;and enjoy it more.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>By focusing on what\u2019s happening here and now, and ignoring others\u2019 attempts to label them, athletes are more likely to perform well and enjoy sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your athletes will perform more freely when they are not striving to reach others&#8217; <strong>expectations <\/strong>and superstar labels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-grow-from-adversity\/\" title=\"Help Sports Kids Grow From Adversity\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/goals-vs-expectations-for-kids\/\"><strong>Goals vs. Expectations for Kids<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids\/\"><strong>The Pressure of Expectations for Kids<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-expectations-trap-for-perfectionists\/\"><strong>The Expectations Trap for Perfectionists<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <strong><a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a> <\/strong>on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Composed_Sports_Kid\"><\/span>The Composed Sports Kid<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/composed-sports-kid-small-1.jpg\" alt=\"The Composed Sports Kid\" class=\"wp-image-11173\" style=\"width:170px\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>&#8220;The Composed Sports Kid&#8221; audio&nbsp;and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>The Composed Sports Kid system<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;is really two programs in one\u2013one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes\u2013<em>ages 6 to 13<\/em>\u2013how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance,&nbsp;<strong>and thus enjoy sports more<\/strong>!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-26bcd9b3\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-903b6244 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-confident-sports-kid-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-3275f4fd gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/collections\/confident-sports-kid-series-digital-version\/products\/the-confident-sports-kid-bundle-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do Parents Pressure Kids to be Superstars? In the world of youth sports, we focus too much on \u201cthe next big thing\u201d, creating high expectations. Eighth grade basketball player Elijah Fisher has been described by his coach at Grassroots Elite (Canada), \u201cElijah could be the best player to ever come &#8230; <a title=\"Why Adults Shouldn\u2019t Heap Superstar Expectations\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-on-sports-kids\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Why Adults Shouldn\u2019t Heap Superstar Expectations\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6032,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,35,18,6],"tags":[97],"class_list":["post-6019","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kids-in-sports","category-pressure-from-parents","category-young-athletes-pressure","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-expectations-from-parents"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6019","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6019"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6019\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6032"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6019"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6019"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6019"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}