{"id":6661,"date":"2020-06-18T15:44:10","date_gmt":"2020-06-18T15:44:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=6661"},"modified":"2025-07-09T07:27:10","modified_gmt":"2025-07-09T11:27:10","slug":"the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"The Pressure of Expectations for Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6666\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/06\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Goals_not_Expectations_Are_Good_for_Kids\"><\/span>Goals not Expectations Are Good for Kids<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids\/#Goals_not_Expectations_Are_Good_for_Kids\" >Goals not Expectations Are Good for Kids<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids\/#While_goals_are_adjustable_expectations_generally_are_not\" >While goals are adjustable, expectations generally are not.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Set_Goals\" >Help Young Athletes Set Goals<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids\/#Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\" >Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s important to go into a competitive season with realistic <strong>goals<\/strong>. They will motivate and focus <strong>young athletes<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sports kids should not go into a season with super high <strong>expectations<\/strong>. That will make them feel pressured, anxious and distracted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s compare goals and expectations. Goals are well defined, measurable and attainable. Kids can adjust goals if they reach them before the end of the season, adding new objectives.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They can also adjust them if they are grappling with unexpected circumstances such as injuries. For example, they might need to extend the date for accomplishing a goal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"While_goals_are_adjustable_expectations_generally_are_not\"><\/span>While goals are adjustable, expectations generally are not.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Expectations tend to be rigid. They sound like \u201cI have to\u2026\u201d \u201cI must\u2026\u201d \u201cI need to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When it comes to expectations, there is no flexibility. No matter the circumstance, the expectation remains the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Expectations generate tension, anxiety and pressure&#8211;feelings that undermine athletes\u2019 performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When <strong>young athletes<\/strong> with unrealistic <strong>expectations<\/strong> experience adversity, they become devastated and feel like failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>All athletes experience some degree of adversity&#8211;but not all respond in the most appropriate way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Athletes with realistic <strong>goals<\/strong> feel they still have some degree of control and can alter their objectives in a way that keeps them working toward something positive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If athletes work toward well-defined, measurable, attainable and adjustable objectives, they are more likely to stay motivated, confident and positive as they grapple with adversity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>High expectations can cause problems when athletes face adversity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>High expectations and injury derailed Philadelphia Sixers\u2019 forward Zhaire Smith in his 2018-19 rookie season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Smith was selected as the sixteenth overall pick by the Phoenix Suns in the 2018 NBA draft, then immediately traded to the Sixers. The Sixers had hopes that Smith would be able to contribute to a playoff run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Smith had high expectations for his first year in the NBA. However, that pressure led him to play tight and hesitantly last pre-season. He was also derailed by a fracture in his foot and an allergic reaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Smith played in only eight games during the year. But he has changed his perspective for the upcoming year and is focused on doing little things to help the team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m coming in, 16th pick, first-rounder. I\u2019m coming in like, \u2018I\u2019m going to drop 30.\u2019 But this year, I\u2019m like, \u2018Let\u2019s just have fun and have the game come to me, do the little things and help the team win,\u2019\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Set_Goals\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Set Goals<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Before each season, <strong>young athletes<\/strong> should write down their goals for the season. Help sports kids make sure their goals are realistic and attainable by the end of the season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Kids need to understand that goals are fluid. That means goals are not etched in stone and can be adjusted, if necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With sound goals, kids can maintain high levels of confidence, stay focused and sustain their motivation through the season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Help kids ask themselves, \u201cRealistically, can I accomplish THIS within the time constraints of this season?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They should consult with their coach or mental game coach and write down specific, attainable, measurable goals for the season and a plan of action.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If adversity strikes, they should re-evaluate with coaches and adjust goals if necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And kids need to identify the high expectations that spark pressure and frustration. They should commit to letting go of these <strong>expectations<\/strong> and focus on small, manageable, process <strong>goals<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/goals-vs-expectations-for-kids\/\"><strong>Goals vs. Expectations for Kids<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/addressing-anxiety-mistakes-and-low-confidence-in-youth-sports\/\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-on-sports-kids\/\"><strong>Why Adults Shouldn\u2019t Heap Superstar Expectations<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-expectations-trap-for-perfectionists\/\"><strong>The Expectations Trap for Perfectionists<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Improve_Your_Mental_Game_From_Anywhere_In_The_World\"><\/span><strong>Improve Your Mental Game From Anywhere In The World<\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/11\/mental-training-for-young-athletes.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-6868\" style=\"width:138px;height:auto\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>We\u2019re certain that, as a parent,&nbsp;you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life.&nbsp;And as a sports parent, you\u2019d love for your children to reach their potential in sports.&nbsp;But encouraging your child to <strong>strive for greatness without pressuring them<\/strong> can be a challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can get expert mental coaching with us from anywhere. Meet with us via Zoom, Skype, FaceTime or phone call. With today\u2019s video technology, we are able to connect with athletes and coaches all over the globe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-text-align-center\"><strong>Call Us Today to Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Session.<\/strong><br><strong>Find Out How Your Athlete Can Benefit From One-on-One Mental Coaching!<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Goals not Expectations Are Good for Kids It\u2019s important to go into a competitive season with realistic goals. They will motivate and focus young athletes. Sports kids should not go into a season with super high expectations. That will make them feel pressured, anxious and distracted. Let\u2019s compare goals and &#8230; <a title=\"The Pressure of Expectations for Kids\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about The Pressure of Expectations for Kids\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":6665,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,6],"tags":[615,624],"class_list":["post-6661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-goals-for-kids-in-sports","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-goal-setting-in-youth-sports","tag-high-expectations-in-youth-sports"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6661","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6661"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6661\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6665"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}