{"id":6719,"date":"2020-07-30T16:24:12","date_gmt":"2020-07-30T16:24:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=6719"},"modified":"2025-08-11T02:25:11","modified_gmt":"2025-08-11T06:25:11","slug":"goals-vs-expectations-for-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/goals-vs-expectations-for-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Goals vs. Expectations for Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter size-large\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/important-dos-and-donts-for-sports-parents-before-games-1.jpg\" alt=\"Playing Time in Sports\" class=\"wp-image-5204\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/important-dos-and-donts-for-sports-parents-before-games-1.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/04\/important-dos-and-donts-for-sports-parents-before-games-1-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Helping_Sports_Kids_Set_Goals\"><\/span>Helping Sports Kids Set Goals<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_82_2 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/goals-vs-expectations-for-kids\/#Helping_Sports_Kids_Set_Goals\" >Helping Sports Kids Set Goals<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-4' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-4'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/goals-vs-expectations-for-kids\/#But_high_expectations_and_adversity_can_undermine_athletes_performance\" >But high expectations and adversity can undermine athletes\u2019 performance.<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/goals-vs-expectations-for-kids\/#Help_Sports_Kids_Understand_that_Goals_are_Fluid\" >Help Sports Kids Understand that Goals are Fluid<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/goals-vs-expectations-for-kids\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/goals-vs-expectations-for-kids\/#The_Composed_Sports_Kid\" >The Composed Sports Kid<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s important for sports kids to go into a competitive season with realistic <strong>goals<\/strong>. This can help give kids motivation, direction and purpose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Starting a competitive season with excessively high <strong>expectations<\/strong> makes sports kids feel pressured, anxious and distracted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And kids can feel even worse when they encounter <strong>adversity<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let\u2019s step back and look at goals, expectations and adversity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A goal is a well-defined, measurable, attainable objective.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just as important, goals can change. If kids reach their goals before the end of the season, they can establish new ones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Or if something unexpected strikes&#8211;such as an injury&#8211;kids can adjust their goals. They can extend the date for meeting a goal or goals.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Expectations, on the other hand, are rigid. Expectations usually sound like, \u201cI have to\u2026,\u201d \u201cI must\u2026\u201d and \u201cI need to\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here\u2019s the problem with expectations. There\u2019s no flexibility. No matter what happens, expectations remain the same. That means that expectations generate tension, anxiety and pressure in young athletes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And tension, anxiety and pressure are sure to hurt kids\u2019 performance and make them feel frustrated, as if they\u2019re always falling short.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When sports kids with unrealistic expectations experience adversity, they become devastated and feel failures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Truth is, every athlete experiences some degree of <strong>adversity<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When athletes have realistic <strong>goals<\/strong> and encounter adversity, they feel as if they have some control; they can change their objectives to work toward something positive. This helps athletes stay motivated, confident and positive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"But_high_expectations_and_adversity_can_undermine_athletes_performance\"><\/span>But high expectations and <strong>adversity<\/strong> can undermine athletes\u2019 performance.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>High expectations and injury derailed Philadelphia Sixers\u2019 small forward Zhaire Smith in his 2018-19 rookie season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Smith was selected as the sixteenth overall pick by the Phoenix Suns in the 2018 NBA draft. He then was traded to the Sixers, a team that hoped Smith would contribute to a playoff run.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He had high <strong>expectations<\/strong> piled on him. In his first year in the NBA, the pressure caused him to be tight and hesitant when he played.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>He was also derailed by a fracture in his foot and an allergic reaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Smith played in only eight games during the year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After that experience, Smith has changed his perspective for the upcoming year. He\u2019s focused on doing little things to help the team. That\u2019s a better attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m coming in, 16th pick, first-rounder. I\u2019m coming in like, \u2018I\u2019m going to drop 30.\u2019 But this year, I\u2019m like, \u2018Let\u2019s just have fun and have the game come to me, do the little things and help the team win,\u2019\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It\u2019s important for sports kids, before each season, to sit down and establish goals for the season. Parents can help ensure those goals are realistic and attainable by the end of the season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Sports_Kids_Understand_that_Goals_are_Fluid\"><\/span>Help Sports Kids Understand that Goals are Fluid<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>They can be adjusted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With sound goals, kids can maintain high confidence, stay focused and keep their motivation high through the season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To ensure kids understand goals, help them determine what they want to accomplish within the time constraints of the season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They should talk to their coach or mental game coach and write down specific, attainable, measurable goals and a plan of action for the season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If they encounter <strong>adversity<\/strong>, they should re-evaluate and adjust goals, again, talking to coaches.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They should also identify the expectations that create pressure and frustration, and commit to letting go of those <strong>expectations<\/strong>. Help them focus on small, manageable, process goals for their games.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you help kids understand the difference between expectations and <strong>goals<\/strong>, you\u2019ll help them avoid frustration and sinking confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-grow-from-adversity\/\" title=\"Help Sports Kids Grow From Adversity\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/setting-goals-for-young-athletes\/\"><strong>Setting Goals for Young Athletes<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-kids-focus-on-goals-while-theyre-isolated\/\"><strong>Help Kids Focus on Goals While They\u2019re Isolated<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-young-athletes-set-goals-for-the-season\/\"><strong>Help Young Athletes Set Goals for the Season<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Composed_Sports_Kid\"><\/span>The Composed Sports Kid<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/composed-sports-kid-small-1.jpg\" alt=\"The Composed Sports Kid\" class=\"wp-image-11173\" style=\"width:170px\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>&#8220;The Composed Sports Kid&#8221; audio&nbsp;and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>The Composed Sports Kid system<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;is really two programs in one\u2013one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes\u2013<em>ages 6 to 13<\/em>\u2013how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance,&nbsp;<strong>and thus enjoy sports more<\/strong>!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-26bcd9b3\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-903b6244 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-confident-sports-kid-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-3275f4fd gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/collections\/confident-sports-kid-series-digital-version\/products\/the-confident-sports-kid-bundle-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Helping Sports Kids Set Goals It\u2019s important for sports kids to go into a competitive season with realistic goals. This can help give kids motivation, direction and purpose. Starting a competitive season with excessively high expectations makes sports kids feel pressured, anxious and distracted. And kids can feel even worse &#8230; <a title=\"Goals vs. Expectations for Kids\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/goals-vs-expectations-for-kids\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Goals vs. Expectations for Kids\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5205,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[286,582,632],"class_list":["post-6719","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-adversity-in-sports","tag-expectations-for-young-athletes","tag-goals-in-youth-sports"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6719","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6719"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6719\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5205"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6719"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6719"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6719"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}