{"id":772,"date":"2010-09-16T14:04:57","date_gmt":"2010-09-16T14:04:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=772"},"modified":"2025-08-07T06:19:47","modified_gmt":"2025-08-07T10:19:47","slug":"helping-kids-stay-confident-in-the-face-of-adversity","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-kids-stay-confident-in-the-face-of-adversity\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Kids Stay Confident in the Face of Adversity"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/helping-kids-stay-confident-in-the-face-of-adversity.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" class=\"wp-image-3740\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/helping-kids-stay-confident-in-the-face-of-adversity.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/helping-kids-stay-confident-in-the-face-of-adversity-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Sports_Parents_Dealing_With_Bullied_Kids\"><\/span>Sports Parents: Dealing With Bullied Kids<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-kids-stay-confident-in-the-face-of-adversity\/#Sports_Parents_Dealing_With_Bullied_Kids\" >Sports Parents: Dealing With Bullied Kids<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-kids-stay-confident-in-the-face-of-adversity\/#Dangers_of_Comparison\" >Dangers of Comparison<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-kids-stay-confident-in-the-face-of-adversity\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-kids-stay-confident-in-the-face-of-adversity\/#Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\" >Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>A fuming sports mom recently asked us what to do to help her daughter, a talented athlete who was passed up for a slot on the Varsity Team and is now being <strong>bullied<\/strong> by the girls who made the team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;I have noticed my daughter&#8217;s <strong>confidence<\/strong> slip &nbsp;&#8211; both on and off the field. The Varsity players treat the others like rubbish, including a freshman who has no right to be on Varsity in the first place.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>&#8220;And I&#8217;ve heard that the junior players on Varsity have made cruel remarks to my daughter, which I believe is making her pull back from the game even further,\u201d<\/em> the sports mom writes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This sports mom has already talked to the coach, and wonders if she should approach friends on the school board.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Indeed, this is a <strong>frustrating<\/strong> and difficult situation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Rather than fuming and attacking, parents should first have a civil <strong>conversation<\/strong> with the coach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This parent tried that, and it didn\u2019t work. Parents can also try to talk to a league administrator, or, if they believe their child\u2019s <strong>confidence<\/strong> is suffering, find another team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>However, if your child\u2019s team is the only game in town\u2014as is true of this family\u2014you need to teach your athletes some <strong>mental game strategies<\/strong> that will help boost their <strong>confidence<\/strong> in the face of adversity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Dangers_of_Comparison\"><\/span>Dangers of Comparison<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>First off, you as parents need to stop comparing your kids to others. This causes your sports kids to make comparisons, which is a <strong>mental game<\/strong> no-no.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When kids <strong>make comparisons<\/strong>, they often psych themselves out. Instead, they need to <strong>focus<\/strong> on their own strengths and block out all thoughts of other players.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If they need a little help identifying their own <strong>strengths<\/strong>, they should make a list of these. This involves identifying all that\u2019s great about what they do and have done in sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When kids can <strong>focus<\/strong> on their past accomplishments, past <strong>success,<\/strong> and the compliments they receive from others, they are more likely to feel <strong>confident<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>What\u2019s more, your athletes need to <strong>focus<\/strong> on playing in the moment. They shouldn&#8217;t think about the score or the win or their stats.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If your child is a basketball player, she should think about what she needs to do right now to play her position well. She can also set small goals like playing good defense or nabbing five rebounds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You don&#8217;t want doubt to creep into your kids\u2019 minds. That&#8217;s a <strong>confidence<\/strong> killer. Help them identify doubtful thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Here at Kids&#8217; Sports Psychology, we&#8217;ve got loads of resources to help your kids <strong>boost their con<\/strong>fidence in the face of <strong>adversity.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>They include:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Growing From Adversity: How to Stay<strong> Confident<\/strong> After Failure, an e-book for young athletes.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Helping Young Athletes Stay Confident and <strong>Mentally Tough<\/strong> in the Face of Bullies, an e-book and workbook program.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Appreciate Your Talents: How to Avoid Making<strong> Comparisons<\/strong>, an e-book for young athletes.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>And much more, including audio interviews, videos, articles and worksheets.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/playing-through-adversity\/\"><strong>Playing Through Adversity<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-this-olympian-overcame-adversity-after-almost-losing-both-legs\/\"><strong>How This Olympian Overcame Adversity After Almost Losing Both Legs<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-grow-from-adversity\/\"><strong>Help Sports Kids Grow From Adversity<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Young_Athletes_Boost_Confidence_in_Sports\"><\/span>Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/ultimate-sports-parent-small.jpg\" alt=\"The Ultimate Sports Parent\" class=\"wp-image-11157\" style=\"width:167px;height:auto\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can <strong>see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids<\/strong> who struggle with the \u201cinner\u201d game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids <strong>overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts<\/strong> that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You can benefit from our 1<strong>5-plus years\u2019 of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research<\/strong>. Now, you can <strong>tap into our secrets to sports success<\/strong> through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top \u201cmental game\u201d challenges that sports parents face\u2014and the top <strong>challenges young athletes face<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-fbab03ed\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-fa7bf2e7 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/ultimate-sports-parent-workbook-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-33bcee1d gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-ultimate-sports-parent-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sports Parents: Dealing With Bullied Kids A fuming sports mom recently asked us what to do to help her daughter, a talented athlete who was passed up for a slot on the Varsity Team and is now being bullied by the girls who made the team. &#8220;I have noticed my &#8230; <a title=\"Helping Kids Stay Confident in the Face of Adversity\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-kids-stay-confident-in-the-face-of-adversity\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Helping Kids Stay Confident in the Face of Adversity\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3758,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,17,6],"tags":[64,39,46,117],"class_list":["post-772","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kids-in-sports","category-sports-parenting","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-confidence","tag-kids-sports-psychology","tag-sports-psychology","tag-youth-sports-psychology","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/772","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=772"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/772\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3758"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=772"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=772"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=772"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}