{"id":795,"date":"2010-10-07T17:54:13","date_gmt":"2010-10-07T17:54:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=795"},"modified":"2025-08-07T06:14:17","modified_gmt":"2025-08-07T10:14:17","slug":"help-sports-kids-set-goals-without-expectations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-set-goals-without-expectations\/","title":{"rendered":"Help Sports Kids Set Goals Without Expectations"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/help-sports-kids-set-goals-without-expectations.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" class=\"wp-image-3749\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/help-sports-kids-set-goals-without-expectations.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/12\/help-sports-kids-set-goals-without-expectations-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Setting_Effective_Goals_in_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Setting Effective Goals in Youth Sports<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-set-goals-without-expectations\/#Setting_Effective_Goals_in_Youth_Sports\" >Setting Effective Goals in Youth Sports<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-set-goals-without-expectations\/#Focusing_on_mini-goals_is_key\" >Focusing on mini-goals is key.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-set-goals-without-expectations\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-set-goals-without-expectations\/#The_Composed_Sports_Kid\" >The Composed Sports Kid<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p>How do you help sports kids set <strong>goals<\/strong> that don\u2019t create <strong>high expectations<\/strong>? Wait a minute, you may ask. The whole process of <strong>setting goals<\/strong> creates expectations!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Read on to understand the critical difference between setting <strong>goals<\/strong> and creating <strong>high expectations<\/strong> in youth sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is a big challenge for parents, coaches and young athletes. Too often, kids confuse <strong>goals<\/strong> with expectations. They then set <strong>high expectations<\/strong> for themselves and get <strong>frustrated<\/strong> when they don\u2019t achieve them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is a <strong>mental game<\/strong> no-no. You don\u2019t want your athletes to do this. It hurts their<strong> confidence<\/strong> and undermines their performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Yes, you do want kids to establish <strong>goals.<\/strong> But they need to understand that they can modify their goals. They should be <strong>flexible.<\/strong> Kids need to view <strong>goal-setting<\/strong> as a process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We recently talked to J. Parker Adair about this topic. He\u2019s a coach and former semi-pro athlete who started a high school lacrosse program and has run programs for athletes who range from pre-schoolers to high schoolers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Goals give kids a <strong>purpose<\/strong>, he says. They motivate them to try hard and be passionate about their sport.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To help kids avoid working toward goals in ways that create unhealthy expectations, Adair <strong>focuses<\/strong> on looking at goals as a step-by-step process.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Focusing_on_mini-goals_is_key\"><\/span>Focusing on <strong>mini-goals<\/strong> is key.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><em>\u201cI tell them to focus on little things\u2014maybe like changing their stance or position. Fix that one thing, For example, let\u2019s keep our eyes out when going to pass. Don\u2019t look at the ground. Now, when you have that down, start looking at one player. If he\u2019s open, then pass to him. It\u2019s really a building block technique.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We agree that helping kids establish <strong>mini goals<\/strong> is important. You want them to <strong>concentrate<\/strong> on goals that will help them stay grounded in the present. These are immediate, day-to-day goals. You don\u2019t want them thinking about the score or the win all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some examples: Play one shot at a time. Stay in the process. Focus on one point at a time. While you\u2019re setting these goals, don\u2019t forget to include <strong>mental game goals<\/strong>. For example, ask kids to let go of mistakes quickly and focus on the next play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This kind of <strong>goal-setting<\/strong> yields many benefits. Such <strong>goals<\/strong> help kids stay grounded in the moment. When they\u2019re playing in the moment and not worrying about the score or the win, they\u2019re more likely to take the essential risks needed to help them grow as athletes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/goals-vs-expectations-for-kids\/\"><strong>Goals vs. Expectations for Kids<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/playing-through-adversity\/\" title=\"Playing Through Adversity\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/the-pressure-of-expectations-for-kids\/\"><strong>The Pressure of Expectations for Kids<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/why-adults-shouldnt-heap-superstar-expectations-on-sports-kids\/\"><strong>Why Adults Shouldn\u2019t Heap Superstar Expectations<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a>\u00a0<\/strong>on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Composed_Sports_Kid\"><\/span>The Composed Sports Kid<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"250\" height=\"285\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/02\/THE-COMPOSED-KID-1.jpeg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-9203\" style=\"width:170px\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p>&#8220;The Composed Sports Kid&#8221; audio&nbsp;and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em><strong>The Composed Sports Kid system<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;is really two programs in one\u2013one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes\u2013<em>ages 6 to 13<\/em>\u2013how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance,&nbsp;<strong>and thus enjoy sports more<\/strong>!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-26bcd9b3\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-903b6244 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-confident-sports-kid-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-3275f4fd gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/collections\/confident-sports-kid-series-digital-version\/products\/the-confident-sports-kid-bundle-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Setting Effective Goals in Youth Sports How do you help sports kids set goals that don\u2019t create high expectations? Wait a minute, you may ask. The whole process of setting goals creates expectations! Read on to understand the critical difference between setting goals and creating high expectations in youth sports. &#8230; <a title=\"Help Sports Kids Set Goals Without Expectations\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-sports-kids-set-goals-without-expectations\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Help Sports Kids Set Goals Without Expectations\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3747,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,5,6],"tags":[64,71,39,70,251],"class_list":["post-795","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-goals-for-kids-in-sports","category-kids-in-sports","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-confidence","tag-goal-setting","tag-kids-sports-psychology","tag-motivation","tag-youth-sports","resize-featured-image"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/795","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=795"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/795\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3747"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=795"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=795"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=795"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}