{"id":903,"date":"2010-12-02T16:02:16","date_gmt":"2010-12-02T16:02:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=903"},"modified":"2025-08-07T05:59:14","modified_gmt":"2025-08-07T09:59:14","slug":"helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks\/","title":{"rendered":"Helping Young Athletes Stay Confident and Composed After Setbacks"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3787\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks-1.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/12\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks-1-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Composed_Sports_Kids\"><\/span>Composed Sports Kids<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks\/#Composed_Sports_Kids\" >Composed Sports Kids<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks\/#Why\" >Why?<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks\/#But_heres_the_good_news\" >But here\u2019s the good news<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks\/#No_Time_to_Think\" >No Time to Think<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks\/#Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\" >Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks\/#The_Composed_Sports_Kid\" >The Composed Sports Kid<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do your sports kids hate to make mistakes?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do they kick themselves over and over after a turnover, bad pass or loss?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Worse, do they start playing <strong>tentatively<\/strong>, rather than giving it their all?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Are you wondering how you can possibly help them change their attitude about losses, mistakes and other setbacks?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s common for kids to berate themselves after making mistakes. Too often, they hold onto mistakes and other setbacks\u2014such as getting yelled at by a coach, having a bad game or getting a bad call from a ref.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They dwell on these setbacks, rather than letting them go and moving onto the next play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dwelling on setbacks and mistakes lowers kids\u2019 <strong>confidence<\/strong> and hurts their performance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why\"><\/span>Why?<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">They start to avoid making mistakes, they start playing \u201csafe,\u201d they stop taking the essential risks that help them play well and grow as players.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"But_heres_the_good_news\"><\/span>But here\u2019s the good news<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You as sports parents and coaches can help kids cope with setbacks. You can teach them how to remain confident and how to \u201cgo for it\u201d when they\u2019re tempted to step back and play it safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">First of all, remind your young athletes that if they experienced no mistakes or setbacks, they likely wouldn\u2019t learn as much&#8230;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We like to say that if ice skaters don\u2019t fall down, they\u2019re not learning. Falling down shows they\u2019re trying out new things. It\u2019s true of any sport. Kids need to try out new strategies and moves, make mistakes and learn and grow from them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let\u2019s say your sports kid makes a bad judgement before making a pass. He assumes that his teammate will be in a certain position and place, but doesn\u2019t communicate to the team-mate that he plans to pass to him. He passes, and the pass doesn\u2019t make it to the player.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">He can yell at himself, tell himself he\u2019s a horrible passer, and stop passing. Or he can think about what went wrong and try again. For example. he might decide that this time he needs to <strong>communicate<\/strong> better with his teammate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Obviously, you want your sports kids to embrace the second mindset. Figure out what went wrong and try again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"No_Time_to_Think\"><\/span>No Time to Think<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Sometimes kids don\u2019t have time to think about a mistake and figure out what went wrong. In that case, they need to make a mental note of it so they can figure out what went wrong after the game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s critical, however, to let go of the goof-up and move on. They need to <strong>focus<\/strong> on the next shot, pass, pitch or play as soon as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">As sports parents and coaches, you can help your kids stay <strong>confident<\/strong> by helping them understand that they will make some mistakes. It\u2019s part of being human and part of being in sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You can also help them process mistakes so they don\u2019t dwell on them and become frustrated. You can do this by helping them let go of the idea that they have to be perfect and should not make any mistakes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Tell your kids that the sooner they can <strong>let go of mistakes<\/strong> or setbacks, the sooner they can move on and contribute to the team.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Kids_Mental_Game\"><\/span>Related Articles on Kids&#8217; Mental Game:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-to-stay-calm-and-composed-in-competition\/\"><strong>How To Stay Calm and Composed in Competition<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/sports-mom-no-nos-pregame-tips-for-sports-parents\/\"><strong>7 Tips For Sports Parents To Help Athletes Stay Composed<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks\/\"><strong>Helping Young Athletes Stay Confident and Composed After Setbacks<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-css-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Composed_Sports_Kid\"><\/span>The Composed Sports Kid<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full is-resized\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/composed-sports-kid-small-1.jpg\" alt=\"The Composed Sports Kid\" class=\"wp-image-11173\" style=\"width:170px\"\/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;The Composed Sports Kid&#8221; audio&nbsp;and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em><strong>The Composed Sports Kid system<\/strong><\/em>&nbsp;is really two programs in one\u2013one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes\u2013<em>ages 6 to 13<\/em>\u2013how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance,&nbsp;<strong>and thus enjoy sports more<\/strong>!&nbsp;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-26bcd9b3\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-903b6244 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-confident-sports-kid-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-3275f4fd gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/collections\/confident-sports-kid-series-digital-version\/products\/the-confident-sports-kid-bundle-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Composed Sports Kids Do your sports kids hate to make mistakes? Do they kick themselves over and over after a turnover, bad pass or loss? Worse, do they start playing tentatively, rather than giving it their all? Are you wondering how you can possibly help them change their attitude about &#8230; <a title=\"Helping Young Athletes Stay Confident and Composed After Setbacks\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/helping-young-athletes-stay-confident-and-composed-after-setbacks\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Helping Young Athletes Stay Confident and Composed After Setbacks\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3788,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[17,25,6],"tags":[45,188,172,251],"class_list":["post-903","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-sports-parenting","category-youth-sports-coach","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-emotional-control","tag-mental-game-tips","tag-sport-psychology","tag-youth-sports"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/903","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=903"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/903\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3788"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=903"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=903"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=903"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}