{"id":974,"date":"2011-02-03T17:23:52","date_gmt":"2011-02-03T17:23:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/?p=974"},"modified":"2025-08-07T04:49:36","modified_gmt":"2025-08-07T08:49:36","slug":"self-talk-that-destroys-young-athletes-confidence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/self-talk-that-destroys-young-athletes-confidence\/","title":{"rendered":"Self-talk That Destroys Young Athletes\u2019 Confidence"},"content":{"rendered":"<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/boosting-confidence-in-the-face-of-little-playing-time-3.jpg\" alt=\"Youth Sports Psychology\" class=\"wp-image-3809\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/boosting-confidence-in-the-face-of-little-playing-time-3.jpg 600w, https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/01\/boosting-confidence-in-the-face-of-little-playing-time-3-300x150.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" \/><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading has-text-align-center\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Self-Talk_And_Confidence_in_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Self-Talk And Confidence in Youth Sports<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2><div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_83 ez-toc-wrap-center counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title\" style=\"cursor:inherit\">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewBox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseProfile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"\/><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class='ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 ' ><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/self-talk-that-destroys-young-athletes-confidence\/#Self-Talk_And_Confidence_in_Youth_Sports\" >Self-Talk And Confidence in Youth Sports<\/a><ul class='ez-toc-list-level-3' ><li class='ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/self-talk-that-destroys-young-athletes-confidence\/#First_watch_what_you_say_to_your_young_athletes\" >First, watch what you say to your young athletes.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/self-talk-that-destroys-young-athletes-confidence\/#Second_watch_how_your_kids_talk_to_themselves_and_about_themselves\" >Second, watch how your kids talk to themselves and about themselves.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/self-talk-that-destroys-young-athletes-confidence\/#Third_ask_your_kids_to_identify_typical_negative_statements_they_use_when_talking_or_thinking_about_sports\" >Third, ask your kids to identify typical negative statements they use when talking or thinking about sports.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/self-talk-that-destroys-young-athletes-confidence\/#Fourth_ask_them_to_reframe_such_statements\" >Fourth, ask them to reframe such statements.<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/self-talk-that-destroys-young-athletes-confidence\/#Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\" >Related Articles on Youth Sports:<\/a><\/li><li class='ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3'><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/self-talk-that-destroys-young-athletes-confidence\/#Help_Your_Young_Athletes_Improve_Focus_In_Sports\" >Help Your Young Athletes Improve Focus In Sports!<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A sports dad who wrote us recently understands exactly why negative <strong>self-talk<\/strong> crushes <strong>confidence<\/strong>. Even in a talented athlete. However, he has no clue how to stop the downward spiral that such <strong>self-talk<\/strong> produces, he says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Read on to learn about why negative self-talk is such a <strong>confidence killer<\/strong>\u2014and how you can help your young athlete overcome this challenge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When kids embrace <strong>negative self-talk<\/strong>, they use negative words to describe their abilities when they\u2019re carrying on inward conversations with themselves. They also do it when they\u2019re talking to others. They say things like, \u201cI stink,\u201d or \u201cI can\u2019t take a shot today.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This sports dad\u2019s 16-year-old daughter is a great example. She trains twice a day in Netball in Australia, he says. She\u2019s physically fit and has excellent technical skills. She even has experience competing in triathlons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>\u201cThe problem is when she trials for the state team she starts to get the self-talk that says she is not good enough, and starts to have <strong>self doubts<\/strong>. She then starts to have <strong>fear of failure<\/strong>. This then causes her to make mistakes which then reinforces the self talk and self doubt.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When the dad talks to her about her self-talk, she understands what she\u2019s doing wrong. <em>\u201cBut she says she can\u2019t stop this self-talk,\u201d<\/em> he says.<em> \u201cIs there some way we can stop this so that she can remain <strong>confident<\/strong> and play her natural game?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">This dad explains this problem so well. Even when kids know they\u2019re committing this <strong>mental-game<\/strong> no-no, they don\u2019t know what to do. They can\u2019t stop the negative thoughts or statements that jump into their head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We\u2019re here to help.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"First_watch_what_you_say_to_your_young_athletes\"><\/span>First, watch what you say to your young athletes.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">You want to especially avoid broad-ranging <strong>negative statements<\/strong> like, \u201cYou always freeze up before a game.\u201d Kids will often start repeating such statements to themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Second_watch_how_your_kids_talk_to_themselves_and_about_themselves\"><\/span>Second, watch how your kids talk to themselves and about themselves.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do this especially after they make mistakes. You might hear them say, <em>\u201cI really stink,\u201d \u201cI always miss that shot,\u201d or \u201cMy left-hand passes are horrible.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Point out that they\u2019re using negative self-talk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Third_ask_your_kids_to_identify_typical_negative_statements_they_use_when_talking_or_thinking_about_sports\"><\/span>Third, ask your kids to identify typical negative statements they use when talking or thinking about sports.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Fourth_ask_them_to_reframe_such_statements\"><\/span>Fourth, ask them to reframe such statements.<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">That means they need to come up with a <strong>positive statement<\/strong> for each negative statement. The positive statement should <strong>focus<\/strong> on their <strong>positive<\/strong> attributes&#8211;their <strong>training,<\/strong> coaches, <strong>mental game, teamwork<\/strong> or talent.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">If your kids struggle with this and other challenges that hurt their <strong>confidence<\/strong>, we\u2019ve working on a brand new program for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It\u2019s called <em>\u201cThe Confident Sports Kid: A 7-Day Plan for Building Self-Confidence in Young Athletes.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It includes a guide for parents and coaches, a workbook for young athletes, and more. For now, we\u2019d like you to send us your comments or experiences about self-talk or anything related to confidence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Do your kids struggle with negative self-talk? What do they say? How do you deal with it? What other issues bust your kids\u2019 confidence? <strong>Please post your comments below<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We look forward to hearing from you!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"related-articles-on-hockey-mental-game\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Related_Articles_on_Youth_Sports\"><\/span>Related Articles on Youth Sports:<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/help-young-athletes-focus-on-the-process-before-a-game\/\"><\/a><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/how-self-talk-can-help-athletes-when-losing-a-game\/\"><strong>How Self-Talk Can Help Athletes When Losing a Game<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/ensure-young-athletes-self-talk-is-positive\/\"><strong>Ensure Young Athletes\u2019 Self-Talk is Positive<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/when-youth-sports-feels-toxic-athletes-need-these-skills\/\"><strong>When Youth Sports Feels Toxic, Athletes Need These Skills\u00a0<\/strong><\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\" id=\"block-f49818fa-7c7a-4ee3-b5ee-66581aad2c71\">*Subscribe to<strong>\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/sports-psychology-podcast-by-peaksports-com\/id152566009\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0on iTunes<br>*Subscribe to <a href=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/0ynyaalKxbnNmsoeL8gF5X?si=8224669de9b3435b\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\"><strong>The Sports Psychology Podcast<\/strong><\/a> on Spotify<\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator has-alpha-channel-opacity is-style-dots\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Help_Your_Young_Athletes_Improve_Focus_In_Sports\"><\/span>Help Your Young Athletes Improve Focus In Sports!<span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright size-full\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/focused-sports-kid-small-1.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"225\" height=\"250\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/01\/focused-sports-kid-small-1.jpg\" alt=\"The Focused Sports Kid\" class=\"wp-image-11167\"\/><\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Are your young athletes easily <strong>distracted<\/strong> by people shouting on the sidelines? Do they obsess over their <strong>mistakes<\/strong>? Do they <strong>worry<\/strong> about what people think of them?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">These issues will cause their concentration and performance to suffer!<a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-focused-sports-kid-cd-program\/\">The Focused Sports Kid<\/a> helps kids overcome distractions that can hurt their performance in sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-focused-sports-kid-cd-program\/\">The Focused Sports Kid<\/a> program is actually two programs: one for sports parents\/coaches that provides mental game tips especially designed for parents and coaches, and for young athletes, ages 8 to 12, that will walk them through 7 simple lessons in mental focus in sports.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"gb-container gb-container-2050113d\">\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-030447a4 gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/www.peaksports.com\/the-focused-sports-kid-cd-program\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">GET DETAILS<\/a>\n\n\n\n<a class=\"gb-button gb-button-af59ca3f gb-button-text\" href=\"https:\/\/shop.peaksports.com\/products\/the-focused-sports-kid-digital\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">BUY NOW<\/a>\n\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Self-Talk And Confidence in Youth Sports A sports dad who wrote us recently understands exactly why negative self-talk crushes confidence. Even in a talented athlete. However, he has no clue how to stop the downward spiral that such self-talk produces, he says. Read on to learn about why negative self-talk &#8230; <a title=\"Self-talk That Destroys Young Athletes\u2019 Confidence\" class=\"read-more\" href=\"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/self-talk-that-destroys-young-athletes-confidence\/\" aria-label=\"Read more about Self-talk That Destroys Young Athletes\u2019 Confidence\">Read Sport Psychology Tip<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3812,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,17,6],"tags":[64,188,198,197],"class_list":["post-974","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-kids-in-sports","category-sports-parenting","category-youth-sports-psychology-blog","tag-confidence","tag-mental-game-tips","tag-self-talk","tag-youth-sport-psychology"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/974","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=974"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/974\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3812"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=974"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=974"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.youthsportspsychology.com\/youth_sports_psychology_blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=974"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}