It’s a good idea to identify and nurture these strengths. This will help your sports kids understand the value of having a strong mental game.

Understanding the keys to a strong mental game can help them to work on their mental game.

And that, we promise, will create stronger, more confident, more successful players!

First of all, you’ll need to understand a little about sports psychology. Which traits in a sports kid are “mental game” strengths?

Here are a few:

• They’re able to let go of mistakes and move on.
• They focus on the process, not on the score.
• They strive for success, rather than on avoiding mistakes or failure.
• They know how to rely on their instincts and “just go for it!” rather than focusing too much on mechanics.
• They keep their game simple and avoid over-analyzing.
• They know how to “enter the role of the athlete” and put aside all their daily distractions
• They understand the importance of being good team players.
• They perform well under pressure.
• They keep their expectations in check and focus on achievable mini-goals, as opposed to difficult-to-achieve goals.

To identify some of these mental-game strengths, you need to simply watch your athlete, possibly with a pen and paper in hand.

• How do they react to pressure?
• What do they do after making a mistake?
• Are they able to focus on the task at hand without getting distracted?

After a game or practice, reinforce their mental-game strengths. Even if your kids’ team lost, be sure to say something like, “I was so impressed with how you continued to focus well, rather than getting distracted by the score.”

Or you might comment about your athlete’s ability to let go of mistakes.

Want to learn more about how to boost your kids’ mental game, confidence and performance?

At Kids’ Sports Psychology, we’ve got many resources that will boost your sports parenting skills and your kids’ mental game.

First of all, exclusive members of Kids’ Sports Psychology have access to this new article about identifying and supporting kids’ mental game strengths:

How Sports Parents Can Identify and Nurture their Kids’ Individual Mental-Game Strengths

What’s more, you can test your athletes’ focus by downloading the first chapter of The Confident Sports Kid here::

The Confident Sports Kid – Download The First Chapter FREE!

What are people saying about our resources?

“Dr. Patrick Cohn and Lisa Cohn are to be congratulated!  Together, they offer a wealth of knowledge, information, and practical mental tools for sports parents on the substantial “mental game” challenges and pressures facing today’s young athletes.”
~Marc D. Anderson, LCSW, MGCP, Mental Game Coach

Sincerely,

Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

P.S.  You can test your athletes’’ focus by downloading the first chapter of The Focused Sports Kid here:

The Focused Sports Kid – Download The First Chapter FREE!

Why? Things come too easy to them. They’re so used to picking things up quickly that they often aren’t open to working hard to learn.

“You need to find ways to motivate and challenge these kids so things aren’t so easy for them,” says Jake Kuritz, a coach, coach instructor, and former Division 1 athlete.

For example, an athlete who is fast and can kick a ball far and accurately might not want to take the time to work on smaller and simpler tasks, he says.

“Often, you see frustration or anger. They’ll say, ‘That’s stupid. I don’t need to learn that. I’ll stick to what I know.’ It’s a comfort zone.’”

In this case, coaches and parents need to step in and be creative, says Kuritz. They need to push these kids out of their comfort zones.

Sometimes, it’s a good idea to let these kids fail when they refuse to work on new skills….

“Let them fail in a controlled environment. Once they fail, let them know you are there for them and show them a better way to do things,” he says.

Kuritz says that as an athlete, he refused to learn how to alternate and use two legs when running hurdles. But once he lost a championship race as a result of this attitude. “It took me losing a championship race because I couldn’t alternate,” he says. And that changed his attitude.

In addition to letting kids fail and then helping them learn the skills you’re trying to teach them, parents and coaches can show young athletes the benefits of learning the skill.

That’s much more convincing than giving them a lecture or showing them a video, Kuritz says.

For example, when teaching kids the value of alternating when running hurdles, Kuritz asks young athletes to run the hurdles their way (without alternating) and then his way—alternating and using both legs.

He times them both ways and then shows them which is more effective. “The clock doesn’t lie,” he says.

It’s critical to help talented or early blooming athletes learn new skills for a number of reasons.

We’ve found that talented athletes are often confident and really trust in their skills, which is generally a good thing.

But they often don’t want to work hard. And that can disrupt the team’s work ethic.

Parents and coaches need to show these kids that they have to do more than simply show up and put their innate talents to good use.

Coaches and parents might even explain to kids that they’re setting bad examples by resisting hard work. Remind them that they’re more likely to succeed if the whole team is working hard.

Want to learn more about how to motivate talented and early blooming athletes, as well as other young athletes?

We’ve got numerous resources for you. First of all, exclusive members can listen to our entire interview with Kuritz here:

Full Interview with Kuritz – Kids’ Sports Psychology

What’s more, exclusive members have access to an e-book about how to motivate young athletes with goal setting.

Plus many other e-books, some written just for kids, some for parents and coaches. We’ve also got loads of videos, articles, Q-and-As, audio interviews and more.

What are folks saying about our resources?

“Kids’ Sports Psychology quite a find. It’s a treasure trove of practical, insightful information presented in an organized, simple format that is so easy to use. It is exactly what I was looking for to help my daughter succeed in competition, as much as she succeeds during practice. Additionally, these concepts can be applied to all areas of her life and, as her parent, I can’t stress enough how important it is to me, that she develop confidence, and how valuable this resource is to that end. Thank you so much!”
~Stephanie Dobbs, Sports Parent and KSP Member

Learn how to motivate your young athletes and teach them skills that will help them succeed in sports—and life!

Sincerely,

Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

PS. Coach Kuritz gives some great tips for motivating kids of all ages. Exclusive members can listen to our interview with him here:

Kids’ Sports Psychology Members – Listen to Full Interview Here!

They say things like, “He’s really talented, but he stops trying after he makes mistakes. He needs to feel more secure.”

Or: “Whenever the coach gives my daughter any kind of feedback, she freezes up. She needs to have a different coach.”

Or: “When her friends are watching her games, my daughter plays badly. Her friends shouldn’t come to her games.”

The situations above describe common distractions that hurt kids’ performance. The truth is, many of these challenges boil down to one thing: focus…

When kids learn to be aware of what distracts them and focus better in sports, they excel.

The boy who makes mistakes and feels insecure is dwelling on his mistakes.

One solution: He should learn to stop dwelling on his mistakes–the past–and focus on the tasks that will help him perform better right now.

The girl who freezes up when her coach gives her feedback is also dwelling on the negative–any criticism her coach gives her.

She needs to focus less on her coach’s negative comments, and more on her positive attributes (which the coach likely points out, in addition to ways to improve).

One thing to keep in mind: Kids make their own decisions about what to focus on—and they can teach themselves how to change their focus!

The girl who plays badly when her friends are around gets distracted by the presence of her friends.

She needs to learn to ignore them and focus on what’s right in front of her—the ball, her opponent, her next move.

So, before you assume that you should ban your players’ friends from the sidelines, find a new coach, or boost your kids’ security levels, think about focus.

What are they focusing on that’s distracting them?

And remember, one of the keys to performing well is learning how to focus on the here-and-now, to stay in the present moment. It’s not always so easy.

Want to learn more about helping your kids identify distractions and discover what they should be focusing on to perform their best?

Want to learn our secrets to helping kids boost their performance by focusing on the moment–rather than on the score, their friends, or the barking dog?

Learn all our mental strategies for improving focus with “The Focused Sports Kid”:

The Focused Sports Kid – CD and Workbook for Young Athletes and Parents / Coaches

You’ll learn about just how important it is for kids to hone their focusing skills—and how you can help them do it!

What are folks saying about our resources? Just this week we received this note about our blog:

“Thank you for your personal precious time in producing this web site.”
~Brianna, a sports mom.

Help your kids learn to focus on what’s important, boost their confidence and improve their performance!

Sincerely,

Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

p.s. The Focused Sports Kid CD program gives step-by-step instructions about how kids can improve their focus and cope with distractions. On this page, you can download a simple sports focusing test for you kids to complete:

Get The Focused Sports Kid – Workbook and CD Program

It actually helps kids improve faster in sports.

That’s the word from Gary Avischious, founder and head coach of coachingschool.org. Avischious learned about the science of play at the National Institute for Play and put some of the theories to work in his sports practices.

What he wanted to counter, among other things, was the all-work-no-play ethic often seen in youth sports.

“It can be all about ‘Get in two lines we’ve got a lot to do today,’ and parents watching with eagle eyes and screaming at their kids,” he says.

“I started this concept of bringing play sciences into youth sports and saw how that changed kids’ performance,” says the soccer, roller hockey and basketball coach.

How did he integrate the “science of play” into practice? He did it in a structured way, he says.

For example, he instructed his 6-year-old roller hockey players to skate around the town’s trail system.

“I would say, ‘Between this light pole and the next one, let’s hold our sticks above our heads like the Statue of Liberty.” Then he’d ask the kids what silly things they’d like to do. They wanted to skate with their fingers in their noses. Or make monkey noises.

“One thing leads to another, and the rules change as you go,” he says. Every once in a while he’d ask them to skate backwards on the sidewalk.

He knew they were having fun because they lost all track of time—which is one of the key ingredients to achieving the all-desirable state of “flow,” Avischious says.

“Researchers call it flow, athletes call it getting in the zone and kids call it play. You lose track of time and space.”

His goal, he says, is for the kids to say, “It hasn’t been an hour yet. We want to keep playing,” instead of “I can’t wait until this is over.”

One mom called him after a playful practice and said that her son had laughed so hard his stomach ached.

Of course, running practices this way required a lot more creativity, effort and energy on his part, he notes. But it all paid off. “Performance went through the roof.”

Want to learn about other strategies for ensuring your kids’ performance goes through the roof?

Check out Kids’ Sports Psychology—our online mental training program for parents, coaches and their sports kids.

At kidssportspsychology.com, exclusive members can download free e-books—some written specifically for parents, some for kids. Also available are audio interviews, videos, Q-and-As, articles and much more!

For starters, exclusive members can listen to our entire interview with Avischious:

Playful Practice for Young Athletes Interview

What are folks saying about Kids’ Sports Psychology?

“I love what you do on your website and the impact and influences you’re making on children’s lives across our great country.”
~H. Rothenberg

Help your young athletes improve their performance, have fun, gain confidence and make the most of their sports experience! Tour the member area today:

Tour Kids’ Sports Psychology for Sport Parents and Young Athletes

Sincerely,

Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

PS Want to hear all of Avischious’s tips for helping your kids “get in the zone?” Listen to our full interview with him. He also explains the benefit of focusing on effort, rather than performance:

Playful Practice for Young Athletes Interview

It’s as if their fear of giving the “wrong” answer disables their ability to be thoughtful, have in-depth conversations, or communicate creative ideas.

But even though they likely have the ability to do all these things.

We see the same thing in youth sports….

Kids who aim to get it right all the time play to avoid making mistakes. They believe they need to be “perfect” and mistake-free.

Perfectionists often focus on how to be perfect, have a hard time accepting and making use of feedback, and get stiff or upset if they make mistakes.

Here’s the good news about perfectionists: They work really hard and are very reliable. They tend to excel in practice.

But the down side is they often try too hard during competition, and dwell way too much on their mistakes.

Their confidence drops quickly if they make mistakes. This causes them to play tentatively, which prevents them from growing and excelling in sports.

However, it’s not all black-and-white….

Some kids have perfectionist tendencies and only seek to be perfect in certain areas.

For example, they may be point guards in basketball who aim to have no turnovers. But they’re easier on themselves when they’re playing defense.

As parents and coaches, you want to understand why your kids are perfectionists.  Help them learn how to accept imperfection and mistakes.

First of all, talk to them about their expectations. Do they say they expect to score all the points in the game or commit zero mistakes?

Do your ideas as parents and coaches cause them to try to be perfect and avoid mistakes?

If you think you put perfectionist ideas in their heads, keep in mind that this can hurt your kids’ confidence and performance.

You want your sports kids to feel confident, to focus on the here-and-now, and to feel free to make mistakes.

You want to encourage them to have fun, to focus on the process instead of the win or score, and to trust in the stills they practice daily.

Want to learn more about how to help perfectionists and kids who are afraid of failing?

You’ve got two options…

First of all, you can read more about how to help perfectionists in sports.

Go here to see if your kids suffer from the disadvantages of perfectionism:

Disadvantages of Perfectionism in Young Athletes

Or…

If you become an exclusive member of Kids’ Sports Psychology, you can download our perfectionism here!

Help Young Athletes Kick Perfectionism and Fear of Failure

Either way, you’ll learn how to help your sports kids overcome the Number One mental game challenge we see in youth sports today.

What do folks have to say about our resources?

“We really enjoy your emails and are grateful that we found your website. It is so needed. There really isn’t much out there to guide the parent. Thank you for your work. And yes, we have passed on your website to numerous parents.”
–Debbie and Peter C.

Help your kids make the most of their sports experience, overcome mental game challenges and have more fun!

P.S. Exclusive members of Kids’ Sports Psychology can check out our perfectionism program here:

Perfectionism Program For Young Athletes – Members Access

Or you can check out the stand-alone program here:

Help Young Athletes Kick Perfectionism and Fear of Failure

“Dr. Patrick Cohn, I am so happy to see you exposing the true potential and impact of mental training with children.  As a gymnast, I used mental training techniques day in and day out- and I still use them daily as an adult – peak performance is important for living. Thank you!”

The truth is, most parents, youth coaches, and sports kids don’t understand why mental training is so critical to enjoying and benefiting from youth sports.

A number of myths prevent adults and young athletes from truly understanding sports psychology the way this former gymnast understands it.

Here are just a few of the myths and our response to them:

1. “I’m already mentally tough,” kids say.

Sure, they may be mentally tough in some areas, but we guarantee that they could toughen up other aspects of their game! For example, they might excel in practice, but freeze up during games.

Even if they’re top performers, they might get nervous when their friends watch their games. Or they might dwell on losses in ways that hurt their performance.

2.  “I’m playing well now. I don’t want to hurt my momentum,” young athletes say.

Guess what? If these kids could learn how to identify the thoughts and feelings that are feeding their success, they’d learn how to harness these thoughts and feelings at a later date—when they’re not on the top of their game.

That’s just one of the lessons they’ll learn if they embrace mental training.

Kids also say they don’t need mental training because their coaches don’t value sports psychology, and because the key to success is hard work.

Again, they’re limiting themselves with these ideas!

If you’d like to learn more about how to help your young athletes benefit from mental training and make the most of their sports experience, check out:

Kids’ Sports Psychology – Mental Training For Young Athletes

First of all, exclusive members will gain access to an ebook, “Helping Young Athletes Embrace Mental Training.”

Exclusive members also gain access to loads of other ebooks, articles, videos, audios, and Q-and-As designed to help parents improve their sports parenting skills and ensure sports kids make the most of their physical talent.

At Kids’ Sports Psychology, you can learn about how to deal with sports kids’:

• fear of failure
• worries about what others think
• perfectionism that’s they’re worst enemy
• bullying in sports

…and much more!

What are folks saying about our resources? This week, we’ll simply repeat what you already read above:

“I am so happy to see you exposing the true potential and impact of mental training with children. Thank you!”
–A former gymnast

Sincerely,

Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

P.S. Having troubles convincing your kids that they could really benefit from mental training? Exclusive members can download our “Help Young Athletes Embrace Mental Training” e-book here:

http://www.kidssportspsychology.com/members/372.cfm

For example, a sports parent, Gretchan, says that her 10-year-old baseball player gives up after one bad at-bat or one poor game. He simply checks out, she says.

Many coaches and parents resort to negative reinforcement to rid kids of this behavior…

But punishing kids for getting upset in practice or competition does not work!

Does the coach make them do laps when they get angry? Do you threaten to pull kids out of sports altogether if they can’t control their outbursts?

Punishing kids only causes your athletes to get more upset the next time…

It does not address the real issue: What’s going through your athletes heads after they make mistakes or lose.

Frustration begins with your athletes’ expectations. They demand perfection of themselves or expect to win all the time, which sets them up for failure—in their eyes—and disappointment.

If you have a hot head, he or she expects to have a perfect game and never strike out or commit a turnover. They may tell themselves they must score 15 points or go 4-for-4 at the plate.

But unrealistic expectations is only half the story…

After committing a mistake, your athletes are probably hard on themselves. They’ll scold themselves after mistakes:

“That was stupid. Why did I strike out?” Or “I can’t stand missing a shot on goal.”

What happens next is a nightmare for parents…

They lose composure, get angry, and often lose confidence. Coach may pull them from the game. Sometimes they even give up and tank.

Thus, punishing kids for their tantrums in sports does not work. You have to address the beliefs and expectations that lead to the frustration trap.

You also have to give them strategies they can use in the moments they start to unravel and are self-critical.

That’s the purpose of our CD program, The Composed Sports Kid. You kids learn the mental strategies to help them overcome mistakes and gain back control.

Sprint over to Peaksports.com and read more about how to help your athletes cope with mistakes:

The Composed Sports Kids CD program

Sincerely,

Dr. Patrick Cohn

P.S. Be sure to check out my video on the relationship between expectations and frustration for sports kids:

Videos to Help Kids Cope with Frustration and Anger

Actually, failing to perform well in competition is the number one reason athletes seek me out.

It’s a sign that your athletes’ mental game is stifling their physical potential.

Many things explain why your athletes’ struggle to perform up to their abilities in competition.

These might include:

• They perform scared due to fear of failure
• They fear disappointing a parent or coach and play safe
• The want to win too badly and can’t stand losing
• They can’t trust their skills when it counts and over control
• They have self-doubt about their skills and lose confidence
• They expect to perform perfectly and get frustrated when they don’t

These are just a few examples of why athletes don’t perform their best in competition.

I know – as a sports parent myself – how frustrating it is to watch your kids self-destruct in competition when they perform so consistently in practice…

What can you do?

• Do you encourage your athletes to just work harder and be patient?
• Do you ask them to just focus better the next time?
• Or do you keep quiet and hope your athletes don’t give up?

Athletes want to perform their best and improve in competition, but usually focus on the wrong things.

They search for the missing “secret”…

• Athletes blame their faulty technique and make hasty changes
• Athletes blame their circumstances and change teams
• Athletes fault their equipment and look for newer or better stuff
• Athletes blame their coaches or parents for putting too much pressure on them

But these are all just excuses that mask the real culprit:

A lack of MENTAL TOUGHNESS!

I’m here to tell you that athletes can learn to improve mental toughness.

But they have to stop searching and first admit that their mental game can improve.

Unfortunately in my work, “mental training” or mental coaching is a last resort for parents and athletes — after all else fails.

The reality is that athletes don’t want to admit their mind is getting in the way of peak performance.

They go for the alternative: work harder and be more dedicated.

If you are interested in exploring how your athletes can improve their mind game and perform better in competition, I have several options…

Most people think that we just produce CDs and workbooks at Peak Performance Sports.

But actually, my #1 job is coaching athletes–one-on-one–from all over the world via phone, Skype, and video conferencing.

If you are interested in learning more about how mental coaching can help, please contact us via phone at 888-742-7225 or simply return this email and we’ll send you more details.

Your Confidence Coach,

Dr. Patrick Cohn

p.s. We have a short one-page test that can help you pinpoint your athletes’ mental game roadblocks. When you contact us, ask us to email you our complementary one-page test.

This is a question we often get from parents. They say their kids love sports, are eager to go to games, but seem to spend a lot of time fooling around during practice. Or they don’t like to practice.

What should parents and coaches do in this case?

First of all, you need to understand why your kids are playing sports in the first place. Keep in mind that they may be participating for different reasons than your reasons for wanting them to participate.

Talk to your kids–and observe them–to better understand why they like playing sports.

They often like participating because they want to be with friends. They like the social aspect and part of being a team. Or they may like competing. Or they may simply like the coach and want to spend time with him or her.

Once you understand why your kids are participating in sports, try to tap into those reasons…

Provide situations that your child will enjoy–playing in the park with friends–if they’re in it for the social aspect, for example. Or you might arrange neighborhood games if your child likes to compete. This will help provide the social support they need.

Be sure to separate your reasons for wanting them to play sports with their reasons for wanting to play…

For example, you may want your kids to play to get exercise. Or you may want them to play because you hope they’ll get a scholarship some day. On the other hand, they may want to play because they like being outdoors after school, or because a best friend is on the team.

Nagging kids to practice can backfire. It won’t support their own reasons for participating in sports. If they succumb to parental pressure, they’ll be playing for you–not for themselves.

That won’t lead to a positive experience. You want the drive to participate to come from within–not from you.

Want to learn more about how and why young athletes feel motivated?

At Kids’ Sports Psychology, exclusive members have access to our e-book, “Motivate Young Athletes in Sports and Life,” which identifies how motivated kids behave, explains what kinds of situations undermine kids’ motivation, and tells parents and coaches what to do to motivate young athletes.

And that’s not all that exclusive KSP members get. They gain access to our complete library of e-books— some written for parents and coaches, others specifically for sports kids.

Also available are videos, articles, Question-And-Answers and audio interviews with youth sports experts.

What do people say about our resources?

“I especially like the mental game videos that my son can watch alone or we can watch together. The videos
help to reinforce all the concepts we have learned together. I think the pre-game stuff is cool and the lessons on confidence, coping with doubt, and trust are worth their weight in gold.”
~Dr. Adam Glantzman

Sincerely,

Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

P.S. We’ve got some great tips for helping you deal with the frustrating challenge of motivating sports
kids in our “Motivate Young Athletes in Sports and Life” e-book. If you’re an exclusive Kids’ Sports Psychology member, download it here:

Motivate Young Athletes in Sports and Life

Part of the problem, the sports mom says, is that her daughter is coming back from an injury.

“She seemed scared to get back to play, not because of injuries, but I think it was better on her self confidence to say “I am hurt” than to go out and fail. Now she is slow, rusty, and the self confidence is worse than ever.”

This sports kid—who has plenty of successes in her sports history — suffers from a lack of confidence, and it’s important to get to the bottom of it.

It’s possible she’s a perfectionist and she’s afraid of failing. Maybe she’s surrounded by critical coaches and parents, and focuses on what they say, instead of on her strengths. Maybe she’s filled with doubt.

First of all, her parents and coaches need to be as positive as possible. It sounds like that’s just what her mom is doing:

“I tell her that her mantra can be ‘I don’t give a rip if I mess up, I am gonna work for it.’ I tell her she has every right to put her foot on the ball – to try and fail is to learn. I do praise her and never coach.”

But even this impressive behavior on the part of this sports mom isn’t helping.

To begin with, this sports mom needs to uncover what’s behind her daughter’s lack of confidence.

Here are the likely suspects—the common confidence busters for sports kids:

• They hold high expectations
• They call themselves negative names
• They tell themselves “I can’t” statements
• They harbor goofy believes, such as “I only score if I’m wearing my red headband.”
• They doubt their abilities.
• They worry about what everyone thinks of them.

What’s the answer?

In our Confident Sports Kid workbook and CD program, parents and coaches can use our evaluation tools to uncover what’s hurting their sports kids’ confidence. They can then tackle each of the possible confidence busters in the 7-day program.

They learn how to communicate with sports kids, how to identify whether their behavior is hurting kids’ confidence, and discover important tools for boosting kids’ confidence and success.

The result: almost immediate boosts in confidence for sports kids—and improved sports parenting skills for parents!

You can learn more about the program here:

The Confident Sports Kid Workbook/CD Program

Use this program to help uncover your kids’ confidence busters and address them with practical strategies that yield quick results!

What are folks saying about our resources?

“Dr. Patrick Cohn and Lisa Cohn are to be congratulated! Together, they offer a wealth of knowledge, information, and practical mental tools for sports parents on the substantial “mental game” challenges and pressures facing today’s young athletes.”
~Marc D. Anderson, LCSW, MGCP, Mental Game Coach

Help your kids boost their confidence and make the most of their experience in sports!

Sincerely,

Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

P.S. If you haven’t checked out our Confident Sports Kid workbook/CD program, be sure to download the first chapter of the Sports Kids’ Workbook and a neat confidence assessment for young athletes on the middle of this page:

The Confident Sports Kid Program