What to Say on the Car Ride Home After the Game
This week, we are following up on a video we shared last week about “The Car Ride Home“.
We provide tips on how parents can help kids feel confident after the game…
Sports parents often unwittingly make the mistake of hurting their kids confidence after a game or competition. This often happens during the car ride home, or even before kids get in the car.
Before you discuss the game or competition, make sure your kids want to discuss it. They may need a cooling off period.
The Positive Coaching Alliance suggest as least a 30-munute cool off period for athletes and parents before discussing the game. For some athletes, it might be much longer than 30 minutes–you have the gauge this for each athlete.
If they are open to talking, avoid being negative or focusing on mistakes. Don’t dwell on mistakes your athletes made at this time. It may hurt kids’ confidence as the worry that they are not good enough.
Make sure that your children know that they are great people no matter how well they performed.
A single performance doesn’t determine who they are as people. If they think “I played badly,” it can quickly turn into “I am bad” or “I am not good enough.”
You want your athletes to separate their person from the athlete. A bad performance or losing a game doesn’t mean they are bad people, but this is often the trap athletes fall into.
When you discuss the game, begin by making two positive comments. Focusing on the positive will help your sports children learn to do the same, which will help build their resistance to thoughts that may sink their confidence.
Compliment them on a few things they did well. You might ask your children what they did well today.
After the game, avoid being emotional or showing frustration. Respond to their performances–both good and bad–with the same, calm attitude. Avoid looking too excited about wins and too upset about loses.
It’s important to show them you love them no matter what–and your athletes are worthy people no matter how they do in sports.
And be sure to help them “switch roles” after the game. This means leaving their role of athletes on the field and focusing on other areas of their lives.
Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!
Do your young athletes:
- Criticize themselves often after making mistakes?
- Lose confidence after working with a negative coach?
- Freeze up and look scared when faced with competitive pressure?
- Perform like stars in practice but freeze up or play tentatively during games or competitions?
If so, check out The Ultimate Sports Parent!
The Ultimate Sports Parent will teach you powerful mental toughness secrets to improve your child’s success in sports.
What’s in “The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports?”
- DAY 1 – Positive Communication with Your Athlete
- DAY 2 – Helping Your Athlete Establish Appropriate Goals
- DAY 3 – Providing Positive Motivation for Your Young Athlete
- DAY 4 – Instilling a Confident Mindset in Young Athletes
- DAY 5 – Boosting Performance by Improving Your Child’s Focus
- DAY 6 – Helping Kids Stop Worrying About What Everyone Thinks
- DAY 7 – Teaching Kids No One is Perfect
- DAY 8 – Guiding Your Children as they Cope with Difficult Feelings
- DAY 9 – Dealing with Kids’ Difficult or Negative Coaches
- DAY 10 – Helping Young Athletes Deal with Competitive Pressure
- DAY 11 – Freeing Your Athletes to Trust Their Skills on Game Day
- DAY 12 – Providing Athletes with Positive Support After Defeat
- DAY 13 – Helping Your Child or Teen Cope with Little Playing Time
- DAY 14 – Instilling a Competitive Edge in Your Young Athlete
Get proven strategies form leading youth sports experts!
What are sports parents saying about our mental training program?
“The Ultimate Sports Parent Workbook Program totally changed our families approach to sports and I am so very grateful. My boys 7 and 10 are able to deal better with negative coaches, perform without fear, and focus way less results and focus better the process. One boy was amazingly able to regain composure and end the season with a positive attitude. I am on your web site all the time and am currently beginning The Confident Athlete series.”
~Sarah Bateman, Sports Parent
“The Ultimate Sports Parent program is well designed to help parents and athletes come to terms with developing well rounded student athletes. This workbook will help give athletes and parents the competitive edge.”
~Mike Maveus, athlete & youth sports coach