Helping Young Athletes Define Their Self-Concept
A sports parent asks:
“How do I help my child be more focused on his role on the team and not so worried about disappointing his teammates and others?”
It’s common for sports kids to worry about disappointing others. Kids often seek social approval, something we all do to some extent.
Kids, and adults, want to be respected and feel the support of teammates, coaches, and people around them.
However, in sports, kids should focus on their game and not on what others are thinking of them. They need to give themselves the brain space to play well.
While nerves can be helpful in boosting athletic performance, worries will hinder performance. When your children worry about impressing their parents or letting down their teammates or coaches, they can get nervous and jittery.
These nerves and negative thoughts impact their working memory, making them slower to react or perform well during the game. What’s more, they’re distracted from doing their jobs in sports, which also leads to lowered performance.
Often this poor performance hurts their self-confidence and creates an avalanche… As their mistakes build, their confidence wanes further, and their worries take over even more.
To find out if your children have an unhealthy need for social approval in sports, ask them some simple questions.
Ask them if they want to by liked by others. Ask them if they are afraid they’re going to let down their coaches or teammates, or if it’s important to them that they impress others.
If they say yes, then it’s time to take some steps to correct these ideas.
It’s also time if you as a parent know that your child is grappling with social approval. Often, they’ll deal with this challenge in other areas of their lives.
Help your children define their self-concept.
When people have strong self-concepts, they don’t need others’ approval to feel self-confident.
Ask your kids to select some traits that describe them outside of sports. Ask other people to do the same about your kids.
Use the results to create a strong self-concept that your kids can hold onto when they perform athletically. Soon, they’ll focus less on what others think of them.
Related Articles on Youth Sports:
- Challenges for Athletes in the Age of Social Media
- Helping Kids Have High Intensity to Perform Well
- Signs of Performance Anxiety in Young Athletes
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