Sports Parents: Do Your Kids Want Your Approval?

Pressure in Sports Kids

Pressure And Social Approval

Often, young athletes worry too much about what teammates, parents, coaches and friends think about how they’re performing on the court, field or course.

When they seek others’ approval of their performance and abilities, and then don’t do well, they can feel inadequate.

They might pressure themselves, which can prompt fear of failure if they don’t perform up to their expectations.

Do you see what a downward spiral such thinking can cause?

The truth is, many kids worry about what others think. It’s a pretty common issue we see with young athletes.

However, you can equip young athletes with tools that help them keep their desire for social approval in check.

First of all, be sure to think about what you say that might contribute to your kids’ need for social approval.

Avoid saying things like, “Aunt Becky is coming to your game Friday and I hope you score a lot and impress her,” or “ I was embarrassed for you when you missed the open net.”

As parents, your job is to avoid saying things that might increase kids’ need for social approval.

What’s more, you can help kids identify when they worry about what peers, coaches and parents think of them and what specifically keeps them awake at night.

For example, do they worry about disappointing their teammates when they miss shots? Do they worry about what friends will think if they look funny in their sports uniforms?

If they feel this way, they’ll tighten up and will have a difficult time playing freely and intuitively.

Be sure to help your young athletes understand that they need to play for themselves and enjoy themselves.

It’s not a good idea to play to please others. Tell them it’s all about learning new skills, or being part of a team, and having fun.


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The Composed Sports Kid

“The Composed Sports Kid” audio and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game. 

The Composed Sports Kid system is really two programs in one–one program to train parents and coaches how to help their kids practice composure, and one program that teaches young athletes–ages 6 to 13–how to improve composure, let go of mistakes quickly, have more self-acceptance, and thus enjoy sports more

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