Mistakes in Sports Parents
Often, we receive emails from sports parents confessing they did the opposite of what we recommend in our programs and online tips.
Like their kids, they can be very hard on themselves. They focus on their mistakes and can’t seem to get their minds off them.
Today we want to stress: Everyone makes mistakes. The whole point is to learn from mistakes in sports—even if you’re a sports parent.
For example, one sports mom told us she was pretty loud on the sidelines and had a tendency to get upset easily during games. She didn’t understand that she was goofing up until her son told her that she embarrassed him, which hurt his confidence.
She tells us she learned from her mistake and took a step back from her son’s games. She even distanced herself physically from the games and sat at the top of the stands, instead of up close to the game.
The good news: Her son told her she embarrassed him, and she changed her behavior. She learned an important parenting lesson, and her son was able to enjoy sports more.
Even coaches tell us that they’re reformed yellers. One sports dad and coach told us that he yelled at his sports kids for years to motivate them to play well. But when a child pointed out the negatives, he realized he had to change. He was thankful to the child.
Sports parents and coaches, the best way to understand whether you’re making mistakes is to listen to the kids. If they look like or say your behavior hurts or embarrasses them, listen. Try something different.
If you’ve got the kind of young athletes who openly speak their minds, you’re fortunate, indeed. You don’t have to try to read their minds. You need only listen—and respond.
If you’ve got the kind of young athletes who are trying too hard to please you, you’ve got a more difficult task. They may not tell you they’re having a hard time with your behavior. They may even look like they’re having fun.
The key: watch carefully and listen. Ask questions. If you see a parent doing something that seems to upset her children, keep this in mind. That behavior might upset your kids, too.
If your kids tell you they’re upset with you, they’re doing you a favor. They’re communicating in ways that will help you overcome your mistakes and learn—likely in everyday life, as well as sports.
Always keep in mind: sports parents make mistakes. Like their kids, they need to move on and not dwell on mistakes. They need to learn from them and avoid being defensive.
What’s the best way to be a great sports parent?
Focus as much as possible on building confidence in your kids—not on ensuring they score the goal. Often, confidence leads to success in kids.
Want to learn more about how to be a great sports parent who builds confidence in kids?
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Read more about The Confident Sports Kid
What are parents and coaches saying?
“Each Race He Was More Calm, Composed, And Relaxed”
“I just wanted to say thank you for your wonderful programs. My son Kai was one of the fastest 10 and under swimmers in Southern California and after he “aged up” to the 11-12 group he really lost confidence swimming against the much faster and bigger boys. He started with the Confident Sports Kids series and really enjoyed each and every lesson. He then started the Composed Kid series and built on the important building blocks that he was using from the first series. I so happy to report that Kai was able to swim to best times in each and every event he swam at the biggest and most important meet of the year in So Cal, the Club Championships. Each race he was more calm, composed, and relaxed. The final race was one that he was ranked last and one of his goals was to try for top 16…he was 49th! He cut over 4 seconds off his time ending up in 17th. He was ecstatic to say the least.”
~DD Bartley
Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!
Do your young athletes:
- Criticize themselves often after making mistakes?
- Freeze up and look scared when faced with competitive pressure?
- Lose confidence after working with a negative coach?
- Perform like stars in practice but freeze up or play tentatively during games or competitions?
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What are sports parents saying?
“Performed without Fear and Focus on the Process”
“The Ultimate Sports Parent Workbook Program totally changed our families approach to sports and I am so very grateful. My boys 7 and 10 are able to deal better with negative coaches, perform without fear, and focus way less results and focus better the process. One boy was amazingly able to regain composure and end the season with a positive attitude. I am on your web site all the time and am currently beginning The Confident Athlete series.”
~Sarah Bateman, Sports Parent
“Maintained Total Composure!”
“We have purchased all of your CD’s, my child has gone through The Focused, Confident, Composed, and Fearless Athlete Programs. And I just listened to the Ultimate Sports Parent CD. I can’t tell you enough how helpful these have been. My child just played in a major competition and he maintained total composure, fought in competition mode not training mode, was totally confident. THANK YOU! I really believe that God lead me to your web site.”
~Sports Parent
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