Why Sports Parents Shouldn’t Encourage Perfectionism

Youth Sports Psychology

Perfectionistic Sports Kids

Sports parents, you don’t want to raise perfectionists in sports.

You may think that kids who have high expectations and want to get everything just right will be big winners.

But in sports, that’s generally not true.

Sure, perfectionists show up on time and work really hard. They’re always trying to perfect their skills. That’s the good news.

But when it comes time for competition, perfectionists often freeze up if they make a mistake. That means they often start playing to avoid mistakes.

And that can have negative consequences. Kids who play to avoid making mistakes don’t take the essential risks that allow them to grow and learn.

What’s more, they generally don’t perform up to their abilities.

As parents, you can help kids avoid the perfectionism trap by not pushing your sports kids to be “perfect.”

Don’t pick on their mistakes on the car ride home. Tell them it’s okay to make mistakes. Give them a few “out of jail” cards for making mistakes or goofing up. You want athletes to learn from mistakes instead of lose confidence.

In fact, if your kids—especially perfectionists—make mistakes during a game, establish a “flushing” ritual, recommends the Positive Coaching Alliance. That means give them a sign that tells them they should let go of the mistake and move on the the next play.


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We’re certain that, as a parent, you want to help your child develop confidence and discipline in sports and life. And as a sports parent, you’d love for your children to reach their potential in sports. But encouraging your child to strive for greatness without pressuring them can be a challenge.

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