A sports dad tells us that his talented 8-year-old golfer gets upset when a player with lower abilities beats him.
“He then acts poorly and Dad is embarrassed. How do you help him to stay focused and learn that losing is part of sports?” asks the dad.
A major problem here:
The player is comparing himself to others.
That’s a real mental game no-no.
Why? When kids compare themselves to others, they’re not focusing on playing to the best of their ability.
In this case, the boy should focus on playing one shot at a time, not on beating other kids. He should concentrate on his game plan for the course instead of on what the other kids are shooting.
How do you help kids stop comparing themselves to others?
First of all, they need to understand how it hurts them. When they compare themselves to others, they’re funneling their energy into the wrong place–other people–and are often psyching themselves out.
They can’t control how well the other players play, but they can control their own thoughts and actions.
So they need to begin by focusing on their own strengths and on playing one shot at a time; one play at a time.
Too often, kids think too much about the score or win.
Kids enjoy sports more and have more fun if they play in the moment and focus on what they do well- and what they should be doing, right now.
Want to learn more about how to help kids who compare themselves to others?
At Kids’ Sports Psychology, we’ve got a helpful eBook for you and your sports kids, “Appreciate Your Talents: Stop Making Comparisons.”
Exclusive members of Kids’ Sports Psychology can download the eBook here:
Appreciate Your Talents: Stop Making Comparisons
In addition, at Kids’ Sports Psychology, we’ve got loads of other resources- including eBooks, audios, articles and videos- designed to help you be a better sports parent and help kids boost their confidence!
What do parents and coaches say about our resources?
“I read all your youth sports tips and they have helped me a lot in dealing with my 8 year old boy. Most of the things you speak about I have done wrong in the past so I am glad to be on your email distribution list.”
~Sports Dad
Help your kids grow as athletes and improve their confidence in sports!
P.S. If you’ve got a kid who compares himself or herself to others in sports (a common problem), be sure to check out our eBook that aims to help kids stop making comparisons! It will help boost their confidence!
Appreciate Your Talents: Stop Making Comparisons
Help Your Young Athletes Overcome Self-Doubt In Sports!
The Confident Sports Kid helps young athletes improve confidence quickly and overcome common confidence killers that destroy motivation and fun in sports!
This is a 7-day program for sports parents and kids to boost young athletes’ performance, happiness and success… in sports and life!
The Confident Sports Kid program is actually two programs: one that teaches sports parents how to boost their kids’ confidence, and another that teaches young athletes age 8 to 12 how to improve their self talk, avoid negative thinking, overcome expectations that limit confidence, and much more.
Read more about The Confident Sports Kid
What are parents and coaches saying?
“Each Race He Was More Calm, Composed, And Relaxed”
“I just wanted to say thank you for your wonderful programs. My son Kai was one of the fastest 10 and under swimmers in Southern California and after he “aged up” to the 11-12 group he really lost confidence swimming against the much faster and bigger boys. He started with the Confident Sports Kids series and really enjoyed each and every lesson. He then started the Composed Kid series and built on the important building blocks that he was using from the first series. I so happy to report that Kai was able to swim to best times in each and every event he swam at the biggest and most important meet of the year in So Cal, the Club Championships. Each race he was more calm, composed, and relaxed. The final race was one that he was ranked last and one of his goals was to try for top 16…he was 49th! He cut over 4 seconds off his time ending up in 17th. He was ecstatic to say the least.”
~DD Bartley
Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!
Do your young athletes:
- Criticize themselves often after making mistakes?
- Freeze up and look scared when faced with competitive pressure?
- Lose confidence after working with a negative coach?
- Perform like stars in practice but freeze up or play tentatively during games or competitions?
If so, check out The Ultimate Sports Parent!
The Ultimate Sports Parent will teach you powerful mental toughness secrets to improve your child’s success in sports.
Get proven strategies form leading youth sports experts!
The Ultimate Sports Parent: a 14-Day Plan For Kids’ Success in Sports
What are sports parents saying?
“Performed without Fear and Focus on the Process”
“The Ultimate Sports Parent Workbook Program totally changed our families approach to sports and I am so very grateful. My boys 7 and 10 are able to deal better with negative coaches, perform without fear, and focus way less results and focus better the process. One boy was amazingly able to regain composure and end the season with a positive attitude. I am on your web site all the time and am currently beginning The Confident Athlete series.”
~Sarah Bateman, Sports Parent
“Maintained Total Composure!”
“We have purchased all of your CD’s, my child has gone through The Focused, Confident, Composed, and Fearless Athlete Programs. And I just listened to the Ultimate Sports Parent CD. I can’t tell you enough how helpful these have been. My child just played in a major competition and he maintained total composure, fought in competition mode not training mode, was totally confident. THANK YOU! I really believe that God lead me to your web site.”
~Sports Parent
Leave a Reply