How do you Deal with Disappointment as an Athlete
Disappointment comes in all shapes and sizes for young athletes. They may experience losses, underperform in a competition, have reduced playing minutes, fall short of a personal best or fail to make a cut for a championship meet.
Every athlete in every sport experiences their share of disappointment. When sports kids allow disappointment to fester inside, it stirs up negative emotions, lowers confidence, depletes their mental energy and decreases their motivation.
You can think of disappointment as an overstuffed suitcase. When kids carry that weight around every time they go to practice, games, and competitions, it will wear them down. The more they think about a loss, mistake, missed shot or falling short of a goal, the heavier the weight becomes, impeding the growth of the young athlete.
The key to handling disappointment is to unpack the event. In other words, kids need to process what happened and what they can do differently in similar circumstances, then work on that aspect of their game so they are prepared for competitive situations in the future.
Handling disappointment is freeing and gives kids the confidence, focus and motivation to take their game to the next level.
Disappointment may hit kids hard, but it doesn’t have to knock and hold them down. Successful athletes all have one thing in common: the ability to handle disappointment, learn from it and improve because of it.
The U.S. Women’s National Team suffered its first loss in the era of coach Emma Hayes. Japan defeated the U.S. soccer squad 2-1 to win the SheBelieves Cup title.
The U.S. team had won the five previous SheBelieves Cup titles and was battling for the sixth in a row. In the end, the team made costly mistakes, had too many turnovers and struggled to consistently finish when on the offense.
After the game, Hayes talked about disappointment and the process of moving forward.
“It’s OK to be disappointed. I told the players that,” said Hayes. “It’s really important to remember moments like this and the learnings that we take from it, and I look forward to the next opportunity we’re together to build on some of that progress and learn the most important things when you play a top-class opponent. I’d rather do that now than much later.”
As Hayes pointed out, setbacks are a part of the learning and improvement process and necessary for an individual or team to reach their potential.
Of course, a tough loss is disappointing, and feeling those emotions is normal.
However, at some point, kids need to choose: Are they going to allow this loss or mistake to defeat them or will they take ownership of their part and use this experience to improve their game?
Disappointment is an opportunity in disguise. Kids need to look for the lesson, then do the work to improve their game.
The key to getting over disappointment is to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Sports kids should not react passively and allow disappointment to dominate their mindset. When they take an active approach to handling disappointment, a potential negative becomes a positive.
Related Kids Sports Psychology Articles:
- Helping Young Athletes with Coaches Who Yell
- Helping Young Athletes Control Emotions
- The Benefits of Keeping Score in Youth Sports
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“The Composed Sports Kid” audio and workbook digital download program for young athletes and their parents or coach helps kids cope with frustration and anger in sports. Help your sports kids learn how to manage expectations and let go of mistakes so they can keep their head in the game.
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