Why Do Young Athletes Fear Failure?
A sports parent asks:
“Our 12-year-old son is having challenges in baseball. He is playing not to make mistakes and seems to have lost his aggression and effectiveness. He is also the smallest, youngest kid on the team. What tips might you have for him?”
When kids play to avoid mistakes, they’re struggling with fear of failure in which they often worry about disappointing others.
In this case, the comparatively small player likely sees these larger, older kids and feels intimidated leading to freezing up.
Most likely, he doesn’t want to make mistakes in front of them or his peers. He wants to be viewed on the same level as the older kids.
It’s natural to be nervous when wanting to impress the larger, older kids. Like many kids, he may be afraid they’ll make fun of him.
One way to help your sports children with these fears is to encourage them to focus on the moment, not what teammates might think.
They should focus on the small, immediate activities in the game and banish thoughts such as, “What will people think if I strike out?”
Help them focus on being great team players or strong defensive players.
Help them move on after making mistakes by giving them a “flushing” sign, as the Positive Coaching Alliance suggests.
To help your children get over fear of failure, remind them that making small mistakes is an essential part of growing and learning.
Mistakes are part of the sports experience…
Try to help them view these mistakes as a necessary part of the learning environment.
Remind them now that actively trying to avoid mistakes only causes more mistakes because they are playing too safe.
Playing safe hurts kids’ performance; they need to trust their abilities and play intuitively.
You want your athletes to get into the flow of the game by focusing only on what’s relevant to execute their skills. Worrying about what others think is not part of what’s relevant to the game.
Related Articles on Kids’ Mental Game:
- How Kids Can Learn to Make the Most of Mistakes While Competing
- When Athletes Only Dwell on Post Game Mistakes
- Addressing Anxiety, Mistakes and Low Confidence in Youth Sports
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